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Lexi May 2020
"Behind   the   doors   of   Silence
I'm   the    tree    that's    never   Grown
I'm    the    prisoner    of   your    Pauses
I'm    the    ball    that's    never     Thrown
The   captive   of   your    Caution
There   is    ice     between    my    Teeth
I've    wandered    down    the    twisted     Way
Where    all     the     fences     Meet."
Lexi May 2020
We are these hunger driven monsters
We are these broken vessels that consume our body
Our desperate conscious tells us the things we beg not to hear.

The wonder of the mind
So extraordinary
So powerful.
The thoughts that turn into reality and the so called endless time slips away to a close.
The life we dreamed of washes of with every breath we take and every step we make
We realize how unclear we really are
No plans or hacks that we believed we had for our lives truly let alone nearly comes close to ever becoming a reality.  

We are told once again the things we wished wouldn't be told.
Lexi May 2020
Here's a little of what i see of society...

We continue in our loneliness, telling others how we hate it,
how much we want to change,
we cry every night praying to God that He will fill the emptiness inside of us;
bring someone along and take away out loneliness,
but DEEP DEEP inside our taunted we crave this so called loneliness,
this isolation we put ourselves in.  The waves of emotion hits us hard and with each they get STRONGER and STRONGER,
weakening our desperate bodies,
ripping our skin from off our backs.
We stand there.
Waiting for it to hit us, begging it to hit us harder.
To tare us apart.
This loneliness all will feel sometime on our line of string, will either be declined or welcomed with arms wide open.

We tell each other how much we despise of it, but yet we do not know the TRUTH.
Lexi May 2020
Split them apart
Break them apart
Stamp on them hard
Until they shatter
Beat them hard
And He can never hurt me again
Oh Father stomp on me again so i am no more
Lexi May 2020
I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from the delights of this world.
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as long as she dwells within.
Show me, my life's end
and the number of my days.
Each mans life is but a breath
man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro;
He bustles about, but only in vain.
Your invasion consumes me
You rebuke and discipline me
You **** every last breath out of me.
Slowly trapping me, until i become  no more.
Look away from me, that i may rejoice again
before i depart and am no more.
Lexi Jul 2019
And brain washed
Your love for me is everything
Your touch sends shivers down my spine
And your presence lingers endlessly...
Lexi Aug 2018
Looking in the mirror is like a death wish
A glimor of hope before the horrid thoughts cime floading in
Screaming at the top of their lungs.
And the tears rush to the surface as I pinch my skin
Grabbing it tight
Pulling at it with all my might
Wanting for it all to dissapear just like myself
As i slowly turn and turn that small glimor of hope gone
Flushed away by the rotton words that captivate my body
Screamimg for me to

                     "STOP EATING"

I walk away woth a heavy heart sinking down to the lowest part of me
Hiding away frim anyone
Ignoring every word spoken to me.

My mind
My body
My whole being has been captured by those fithly words and throughts which are tormenting me and eating me alive
Without a word
A thought i move on frim the plate of fruit and the bowl of chocolates
Swinging with a heart heavy,
Yet filled with nothing

I act like it has no effect on me
Like it doesnt hurt at all
Everyday every glance at the hated mirror that only lies
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