Self harm is a way of knowing you're alive

Its like breathing, you need it to live, but without it you will die.

i tried to drown out all my sorrows with some iced coffee
i ran with sage around my halls but yet you still haunt me
i holed myself up in my room and said i wasnt there
i still recall the day i lost it all and shorn off my hair
but im still here
im still breathing
i havent stopped living
even though i feel
unalive

I breathe you in like a morning
cigarette. Trying to remember
all the things I need to forget.
Caresses on my cheek when I’m crying
because a little piece of my soul is…
dying. Funny how love burns our lungs,
like those early morning drags,
and makes us think in clichés as we burn
down the ****. Watching the little red line
getting closer to the end, while thinking
how all good things come to an,
well, you get the picture while I’m sinking and
drowning myself in those things I need to forget,
with each morning cigarette.

this generation
is afraid
of fire
tomorrow
and sadly
each other

how come we have
become accustomed to
appreciating the sound of your
breath
more
than our own?

im not submerged into anything
im drowning in my own breath
drowning in stress
anxiety
sadness
yet nothing at all
im numb
but im suffocating in this world
nothing is blocking my air passages, nothing is around my neck
but i feel a tightness in my throat
i shake
yet im silent
i get irritable
annoyed
and i shut down
sometimes i'll cry
others i just sit there staring at nothing
and i just... sit