I have exhausted myself writing all of these home and seasick poems where I'm the bottomless ship and you are the cruel and vigorous waves. I convince myself that each word that drips is my attempt to come up for air and that maybe if I empty enough out... I can breathe. Even just for a second, even just with a sentence the deep blue surrounding will cease to swallow me whole but it's there. You are there. To ignore is ignorant and to notice is notification and to hold onto it is ****** and gruesome like the sharp double edges of the sword bludgeoned into my spine; the only thing of yours you left inside me that I can call mine. Selfishness is trying not to forsake swimming, to continue letting it rust and rot, but I do not care because it is the only that you have given that I got. So-so, so be it! I'll allow you to fill my lungs, drown them if that means my hunger for you is diminished. Finished, but will enough ever be enough?
No.
No word has ever spoke so well, no, and salt has never tasted more sweet. Amongst all this time I have tried to remain afloat I can finally admit there is nothing for you I'd **** but me. But it will do if that means I have the opportunity to sink into you.

It was a fun day,

childhood memories were being made.

My happiness showing across my face.

So many questions I had,

so many I asked.

I see pink.



Another fun-filled day.

Dad made my favorite dinner.

My excitement was bubbling.

I guess to them it was troubling.

I see pink.



Today was rainy.

I went outside.

I think I'm in trouble.

She yells  "Get inside!"

She had almost gotten my hair dried.

I can tell she is annoyed.

I see pink.



They didn't care about the smile on my little face.

I guess they couldn't keep up with my pace.

I see pink.


I want it now.

I barely even begin to ask,

she is headed to the cabinet.

Plastic shot glass.

Two tablespoons later,

I see pink.


Dream, dream, dream.

Off to sleep.

Thanks for the pink.


A three year old girl who gets a thrill from fairytales.

They say I have to much energy for someone so little.

All they want is for me to sit still.

So they pour me some more Benadryl.

I see pink.

What have I to live for?
And what have I to lose?
Where, oh, can I run to
If I dare to refuse?

Long, long run
Deep green woods
Thunder claps
Darkness falls
I am
alone

i have no idea
why i can feel a boxing match
in my rib cage
where bone and heart meet.
or why my skin tingles like i am
watermelon, left on the ground after a picnic,
and the ants have found me.
i don't know what this is-
i'm in enemy territory,
this dumb thing called love.

a boy waiting patiently at the train station
he lights up a cigarette
can't smell the flowers in his hand
over the smell of petrol

i don't remember what happened
when i saw you
arms stretched, bodies entwined
happy tears, nose kisses

i never did meet you at that station
but if i did
i would still be locked in your kiss

I'm uncomfortable with everything,
lying here on your floor
at four in the morning
     in my world of blah. 
I've been awake for hours,
listening to your sounds…
     the breaths in
                     and out. 
And I just want to cuddle up,
push my back against your chest
     and feel my head rest 
     in its rightful place. 
But there's no room for me. 
     …story of my life.