i fell in love with you.

not after we spoke for hours on the phone
and not after i fell asleep in your arms
and not after you sang me a song to
help me sleep.

but when we kissed it was the sweetest taste
of your lips stained with coffee and tattooed
with the taste of cigarettes and *****;
they told me a story about you without
using words...
and that's crazy, isn't it?

i fell in love with you before you said a word to me.
and it wasn't your perfectly placed brown hair or
your eyes that glistened under the sun,

but it was how you could tell me a story without even
opening your mouth.

when i was younger my parents
warned  me about the kinds of drugs you could snort
into your system through your gentle little nose,

the kind you drink like alcohol
and the ones you inject straight into your
veins.

but the one thing they forgot to warn me about
were drugs like you.

have you ever wanted
to cut your wrists
so much
that you bleed out

so much
that all you feel is numb
and raw

have you ever wanted
to starve yourself
so much
to the point of starvation

so much
that your thighs don't touch
and all the fat is gone

have you ever wanted
to end it all
so much
that you dream about it

so much
because when you're finally gone
it'll be so much easier for everyone else



-k.l.

Vacuum-sealed in cloudy plastic
Suffocating by design
No claws to tear through
No blades to slice
The coldness of the air seeps through
But no breath can be taken
Peek-a-boo I see you
Creepy clouded faces stare
Known yet quite veiled in circumstance
The harder the struggle
The weaker the fight
Light fades as breath strains
Wishing for pinholes