Blueberry bluebells
sing, imperceptibly
sighing
against a backdrop of
quiet cerulean.

You know
it is Spring when
their hazy grasses
sprout beautifully
thick in the blades
between the primrose,
and when the sun
infuses shafts
of bronze to the lilac
through the giant
ash's baby
leaves.

My life
A meaningless nothing
Tired of the faking and the lies
My family torn apart, shredded
My grandma just a mere memory
Tired of holing it in
Holding it back
The tears well up as I lay in my bed
Wishing for death
Wanting to end the pain
The light burns, kills
Shows me no mercy
Wishing for my life to end
I've been betrayed, cheated
And lied to
By my love
My life
My only source of laughter
My only pain relief
The world is so cruel
The light eats at me
Inside and out
People ask, wonder, question
Why I am who I am
They look with judging eyes
Not seeing the real me hidden deep inside
The little girl I am
Colorful and joyful
Hidden dormant
Forced to come out and play
Contemplating...
Drugs, blades, bullets, rope?
So many to choose from
As I hold a razor prepared to cut
I think back to my days as a child
Life was so simple as a kid
Then I go numb again
No longer able to feel
I go black with the pain that I feel

sitting in the corner
of my bathroom floor
under the sink.
small tears of red paint
are dripping next to me
is it my hand
or is it my red lipstick
that melt in the sun
no one will ever know
neither will I.
I clean the red floor
with a velvet towel
cover my drawn wrists
and wear my sadness
upside down.

You told me to **** myself,
You dont know im already dead.
You called me names,
You brought me to Life or Death.
You made me use the blades,
You gave me scars,
Physical and Mental.
But i still survived,
Physical and Mental.
                j.b