belongingness: what does this word mean?

i would explain to my son that belongingness is something you can't touch but feel.
eden, my daughter, would get a kiss.

for many years i was looking for people i could belong to; i was on a quest. and this quest went along with fears and doubts. this quest was ******* the energy out of my mind and out of my soul...

how did this quest began, though? on a strange day, i was asked a very intimate question by a professor; a professor whose background i'm aware of; she asked me:

"do you have a religious or a political past?"

her question came out of nowhere. she blindsided me.
therefore, i wasn't prepared for an answer that could have satisfied her; regardless what my past really is about.

at this point of my life i wasn't aware about my ancestors; but the professor's questions caused me to become it.

"do you have a religious or a political past?"

i do know about my past now; but the answer i gave this lady was not sufficient for her. by the end of our conversation she said:

"i am sorry. can't shake your hand now. have to go toilet."

that was it. oh my, was i disappointed and frustrated; because this certain lady would have opened many doors for me; doors for which she administrated the keys.

you know, there are days in your life that want to you to be desperate. and yes: i was desperate. about being rejected. and that i wasn't able to have access to dorrs that lead to important conferences, meetings and to important people.

but you know what? it doesn't matter anymore.

because here, on hellopoetry, i have found a place of belogningness.
and what my real past is will remain hid: a secret in a purple-colored casket i have the key to.

hellopoetry is a place of belongingness. not just for me but for many many kind-hearted people. and i am not stating this from an opportunist's view: i can feel you guys here and sometimes i sense kindred spirits.

father
violence
lyrics
skin color
surgery
lyrics
fame
people
lyrics

dear black folks i
want to be white

dear white folks i
want to be black

dear biracials i want to be
black and white
at the same time

(much love to my kids)

dear jews i
want to be a muslim

dear muslims i
want to be a jew

can you help me out
brother?

can you help me out
sister?

can you help me out
rabbi?

can you help me out
habibi?

i need someone
like you folks

who is aware of
DSR

dear idol i
want to be like you

dear idol i
want to be you

scratched your name into my arm
your face is my tattoo
your tattoo is my face

been listening a decade
to your lyrics i'm all

'bout it
wit it

re-in up
bossed up
fetish for dough

baby i be yours
take me as a gift

my game tizzop

I wrote a *******, and posted it confidently
And the only like that i get, was yours.
It was you, my bestest friend.
Will be posting some **** like this once again
Because i know that thousand many people may ignore it,
But my friend will still manage to put a smile on my face.
Stupid him will still like it.
Not because it's a great piece
But just because he loves me.
Just because he want to see me happy.
Just because we are friends.
Just because my happiness matter to him.
Just because we both love each other.............
This love does not ask for gifts from each other
Or to that matter daily goodnight kisses.
Neither does it ask for your constant attention.
In this kinda of love you need not tell me how your day had been like,
You just tell me why are you sad
And I promise to beat your misry to death.
It is different........
It's my definition of love.....
FRIENDSHIP equals LOVE.

I never felt like I belonged to anyone, or in anywhere.
I always had this feeling that i'm on my own, abstracted from all my surroundings.
Floating alone.
Detached from where I'm living.
I carry my soul & my body.
And I just wanted to feel for a moment, for a small amount of time that I belong somewhere, with someone.. because this feeling has taken over me to the point I'm afraid i'm losing myself.