Laying in my bed.
Sleeping and dreaming.
About things I left unsaid.
My heart's still beating.

Waking up dizzy and sweaty
Stepping on the freezing floor.
My head feels heavy.
I slowly open the door.

Stepping out of my room.
Where I’ve been locked up.
Still night, is what I would assume.
I feel like I’m about to throw up

Walking down the creaking stairs.
Step by step, an unpleasant sound.
Down to all the unawares.
The touch of the cold concrete ground.

I can’t stand up anymore.
As I stretch my hand.
I collapse down on the floor.
This is not how I had planned.

I need to wake up from this gross nightmare.
I don’t want to have a single regret.
There’s a secret I need to share.
Before I forget.

You are so ordinary
With beautiful qualities,
Just like everybody
Has something
Beautiful about them.

You have flaws
That shine as bright as sunlight,
Just like everybody
Has something
That makes them human.

Yet I love you,
Not them,
So I ask:
Why?

You have beautiful eyes, yes
But so do so many others.
You have a great wit about you,
But still, so do so many others.
We have common interests,
You can be stubborn but keep your manners,
And we can talk about anything,
But yet again, so do so many others.

So I repeat:
I love you,
Not them,
But why?

It all happened in an instant--
An unsuspecting moment--
When someone else was talking,
I looked around the room
And I met your gaze.

The moment before, I was free
And the moment after, I was not.

Your eyes smiled,
No lips needed
To convey the twinkle
That caught my heart.

All in an instant,
I fell in love,
All too deeply
With you.

Look out the window.
Through the thick black glass,
I hope you look out properly.

Almost sincerely?

Turn away from the mirror and look out the window.

Listen to that noise ?

It's your conscious knocking.
The glass never breaks though,
You've ignored it for so long.
It fed off your insolence,
It ceased to be beaten down with love and humility,
And It ceased to be weak to them.

It fumed up sooty smoke,
like your temper and ignorance,
Clogging your view to reality.
It turned hiked just like your ego hype.
It made you blind and self centered,

Everything you promised you'd never be.

Only you could get rid of it.

Honestly, almost sincerely, will you?

Will you break it down and listen to the universe screaming.

Redemption, compassion, love and hope?
Forgiveness, repentance, patience and faith?

It'll scream you awake!
Strike you down from all your glory.
For everyone to see.
On your knees it'll make you repent.
It'll make you swallow your pride
and make you plow your heart out.
It'll pound on you till all that's left
On the ground is blood and ****** bones.
But in the end it'll make you whole again.
it'll purge you from explicits.
At the end, The Reckoning comes for all.

Find what you love,
and **** it.

Before it kills
you.

Some days
I wish I could go
back in
time.
When all I had to
worry about was
getting a swing
during recess.
(-DF-04/18/16-)