If you lost your feelings to the world's ways, Then surely I don't look for your sympathy, But there are few who understand, I do look for their empathy, And their kind words of advice.
There is too much happening Too much to care about Too much to fight for All worthy causes But the biggest fight of all Is to be empathetic In this apathetic world
Goat-head surrounded by ancient carved stones Dimly lite torches Piles of old bones
Revolving shadows of residual wickedness This is no place to linger all the hate we come to accept the keepers and the bringers!
Misfits all of us when the puzzles redesigned But it was never meant to be like this for the fate of humankind Apathy for the world aloft has led us to a ledge Sacrifice another goats and the shadows shall be fed
Soup for a soul As we bleed another beast Drink now as our empathy grows ever weak We’re only walking in our sleep
Quite simply I don’t care lingering here I stay, not listening watching the world fall I wear apathy nicely it hangs right upon shoulders and let the day build up piling up around me enjoy a cigarette as I watch everything decay
very irritable people ******* **** i only have 2 friends that i can really put my faith in i hate where i live because i feel like an outsider if it werent for my band id be long gone from here ive been stuck in my room for as long as i can remember doing anything but moving forward with my life and it feels good to get away from all the ******* around me but because ive been hiding so long from all my friends and family they don't know the mental adventures ive put myself through and the person ive become because of it and ive let others tell me who i am for so long that ive forgotten who i really am and i know im a good person but i cant just sit here and let others take advantage of me and everytime i lash out in a fit of rage i feel like I lose a little bit of who i am or once was or maybe that's just who i am an angry and sad person dealing with my own struggles i place upon myself and im constantly ******* myself because i know i can be better and do things right but i take the easy way out and ignore everything that stands in my way because im tired of trying and getting nothing out of it and im especially tired of trying to expect the best out of people when that never happens so im settling on expecting the worst out of everybody since thats what tends to happen most of the time it makes sense it makes sense to me at least but when people ask me why i act the way i do i just tell them that's just how i am because it's easier to attach myself to my problems than explain why they're there in the first place because nobody really actually cares about the problems, they're all just curious but when im told "hey man how are you doing" im obliged to say "fine" but really things arent ok not im my mind but i tell them things are ok just to make people have a sense that there aren't any problems and if I were to actually bring up anything thats really on my mind im just met with pseudotherapists and people with solutions who have words of encouragement and goodness but all i hear is that im wrong and im used to being wrong and i try to explain myself to these curious people just to realize that i've already forgotten everything i dont know why i'm like this i dont know why these problems are here im convinced that i dont even have any real problems and that i've just tricked myself into being angry and upset constantly for no reason and that just ****** me off even more I dont know what's wrong with me and i feel helpless and worthless but thank god for my 2 friends who accept me and endure the hell i think i put them through i know im an insufferable person on the inside but ive just gotten real good at filtering the negativity that comes out of my mouth thinking that none of it matters because it doesnt matter none of my problems matter because confronting them goes nowhere but straight down to rock bottom and i couldnt bear to invite my friends on for the ride they mean too much to me sometimes i think that i care about things too much and maybe thats my problem but then i think that if i really did care about things too much then id actually make a positive change for the things i care about and instead i sit here and mope and complain about things out of my control just to realize that i shouldnt care in the first place and it all comes full circle i shouldn't care at all in the first place i shouldn't care about anything since nothing except for my 2 friends cares about me im glad i have apathy and rage standing beside me at all times because when i come crashing down at least i know what will be there to back me up and once my body makes contact with the cold hard ground i will have nothing left and that in itself is a liberating feeling to know that i have no more responsibility and nothing left to care about there will be nothing that can turn around and completely subvert my expectations nobody to make me feel hopeless but im never gonna reach that point ill never get that far because ive never gotten far in the first place i should just stop caring entirely and ill still be here in my room not caring not doing a single ******* thing that benefits me i dont know where i am anymore lost in my mind completely lost
ranting at myself since i am the only person i can talk to about these things
