My life's made of glass: particles of sand
That can't be sorted by my clumsy hands
So I sit and watch it shatter
In the end, it just doesn't matter.

A
      racing
            heart
is not all       that I gained
When you said you would,       yes,
      to seeing       me

Not the source,
            but the desire       of true,       anxiety
      Your mere value alone       creates
the most anxious,       me
      To have       ever      been
            The hope       which once
Was just       a plea

my heart began to beat faster around more people than i could count on my fingers.
i started to feel smaller and seen but in the worst way.
my stomach did turns and i could swear everyone could hear my heavy breathing.
i held my own hand,
in hopes that it would feel like someone elses
and maybe,
just maybe
i could calm down.

Perhaps I needed
a friend like me-
to save me from myself.
But all I got instead
was a foe like me-
to **** me to myself.

Smells like sadness
Sounds like crying
Feels like death
Tastes like depression
Looks like anxiety

Into a deep abyss I sink
Struggling to cope
Consuming alcohol, I need to drink
I dream to float

All at once
Or nothing at all—
I’m falling—
Blackhole kind of lovely lines
Cutting cross my angled fists
These endless daunting lists I fill to burn.

Take your parachute and let it fall
As you lay there in between the sky
Watching dreamers walk through life
Wishing they were somewhere up high
Spread your wings and take a breath
The atmosphere will clear your head
Let the time go as you stay afloat
Holding onto every rope
Look down and see your reflection stare
As it looks up to you and wonders,
Where they’ll be when time will pass
Will they fly and will it last?
Would they reach the sky one day?

Look down and tell yourself,
it’ll be ok.

Do you think
Anyone will ever read what I write
With the same passion i wrote it?
Do you think they'll have tears in their eyes
In the parts it feels my mind is imploding?
Would they feel how long I stared at an open page
While they stare out at this paper
Like a well lit stage