My heart was always searching
even aware you were it’s home,
and each thought and feeling urging
to make sure you’d never be alone.

It’s the warmth within your eyes
and the comfort your voice can bring.
The way your smile lights up the skies
you’re my world, my heart, my everything.
When our bodies and fingers interlace
I’ve never felt so real and so complete,
it’s like art studying your beautiful face;
it’s the only sight I wish to greet.
Within dreams and when I’m awake,
you’re my ocean and my lake.

My eyes were always longing
to have you back and within my sight.
There’d be someone I’d be wronging
but wrong never was so right.

It’s the warmth within your eyes
and the comfort your voice can bring.
It’s the slow exhales and the quiet sighs,
when we’re comfortably silent or talking.
When our bodies and fingers interlace
I’ve never felt so real and so complete,
you’re forever my person and my place
I love you from your head down to your feet.
You’re the fix to every single break,
you’re my ocean and my lake.

Each inhale is euphoric bliss, we breathe for one another,
and if I could have one wish; it’d be that you had met my mother.
A home is what you have made
both on grass and where my heart is,
but I confess that I would trade
my only wish for your promise.
A promise I’d jump to make,
you’re my sea and my lake.

I'd still smile fondly, looking at you;
Knowing the future having us will never be true.

A little

I'll always be a little afraid,
but I'll always be brave if I need to.
I'll always be a little sad,
but I'll always try to help the good
outshine the bad.
I'll always be a little different, but so will you. That's not a bad thing.
Your differences are what make you, you. Whatever happens, I know we'll always be
at least a little ok.
Because at the end of the day,
there's nothing better
than knowing someone loves you.

the lovely picture window (always the same, always different)

There are painters who must,
having found the place, must,
repaint it, compelled to repeat it,
each a variant, yet always the same,
always different

I awake to a perspective that is wide,
always differentiated from the prior,
always almost similar, but never with
the same exactitude, differing attitude,
same longitude, identical latitude,
always different

horizon distanced, in all ways a view
encompassing, duality near, far distant,
harmoniously, eyes open, magnetized
to wake before 6am by the suns modesty,
first light, first clarity, a curtain risen, yet,
always different

am I so blessed or thus cursed, for the urge
to disclaim and ode, compose and thus self-
decompose, analyze, reflect, slice apart, needing
the comprehensive understanding this me/place
scripts the raw appreciation, daily differentiated
always the same

this peaceful venue seizures, chest calmly
pounding at the insistence it commands,
the price I must pay for the prize to praise,
to sing, weep, reward restful sleep with lyrics
eked out, pouring, unsustainable yet finished,
always different

a single May Iris, returns, born from a torrential,
thunder, lightning, sky mayhem, rises by a sundial
greets midst a planted clump, upright rises, lavender,
in a majestic solitary, absent but a day prior, yet mine eyes
failed to witness its discernible emerging birthing creation,
always different,
always the same

here, I am Iris too, always the same, a day aged,
but the differences minute but stolid actualized,
this overnight sensation, my body’s restoration,
what I visualize, indivisible, now visible, realized,
miracle of continuity, unchanging chained change,
always different ,
always the same

wonder, am I more blessed, or a s~lightly cursed being,
my breath restored, wet eyes full brimming, changed,
revived but always modified, a newer old man, whose
sum total always a different number, but in sequential,
compelled to confess, no understanding of this miracle,
always the same,
always different,
this daily visionary miracle


6:36 AM
Fri May 24
2024

Silver Beach,
Shelter Island

Your name there always
Don't know how to stop loving
Same heartache each day

i didn't know how angry
a scar could be until i saw
one on myself it was something
like a pocket-sized chilean coast
dragged across my knee disrupting  
and hills still dispersing as an acl
torn but unseen like how the many
excerpts of dreams were wiped clean
the anger is always ephemeral but
it always comes back whenever
i want to feel breeze in hair perhaps
i just miss the delaware river scene
and a long ago when my pencils
moved too quickly for my thoughts
yes indeed maybe i just miss loving
the journey not for the end like the
part where i did not know anything yet
still believed that it was all for the better