Shadow coveted by dancing demons dark
Yearning to reunite with hell
As quietness leaves its damning mark
Satan calls
He knows me well

Under the smooth canopy of night
While black air shelters evil
Red blinking eyes the solitary light
At depth of awakened upheaval

Do not fear the monsters plaguing sleep
Alive as you walk through the day
So you can ignore the wickedness deep
But there's no running away

Drugged on lust I found my way to love

He begs me to let him abuse himself
Until he realizes it ain’t fix itself

Bless.

He ain’t getting there yet
He ain’t letting me bet on a life together
He ain’t getting us set

Class!

Play your A-game on a lame day
Even if you feel taken for granted
You deserve your best self my darling
Even if he doesn’t.

That tight grab you feel in your heart when he turns into
a no man
He swears on his ***** to snooze you as well

Grab that grabs your heart
Let it be your saver
Give it a tight handshake
Pretend you are making it
Present your best face outfit
Play it baby play hard
Until your heart grows out of it.

Fresh

Here we go again.

My head’s so **** fuzzy
My skin is hot
Room spinning just enough
I’d take three more shots if I could
If you offer it, I’ll drink it
I’ve the makings of an addict
I know
But I’ll be fine
I’ll just keep drinking
You keep pretending it’s fine
It’ll be great
I’ll feel like living
You’ll think I’m fine
We’re good

Do you ever just have those moments
When your heart turns black and rots
Your mind gets high on the angst
The suffering is all you need
And you want it... more of it
Listen to gruesome, terrible songs
Sounds of screaming and pain
Loss and grief wrap you like a blanket
It hurts but you’re at home
It’s dangerous but you feel safe
And then the moments come more often
Blurring into days... weeks...
Until you’ve lived in your agony for months
Begging for something more
Tell me a story
Tell me of death and tragedy
Tell me of self destruction
It’s addicting to me

Why am I like this

I’m attracted to poison

If it could hurt me, I want it

I’ll crave it

Desire will burn in my veins

Because I need it

Something deadly

Something toxic in my blood

Just... just let me try it...

How do you heal something that doesn't want to heal?
How do you fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed?
How do you help someone that doesn't want to be helped?
How do you stop someone that doesn't want to be stopped?
How do you cry & beg & scream for it to end when you wake up in the morning & it happens all over again?

You wanted to escape, you did sadly. You traded your soul for something so *****.
"Have fun" they said. "This one time won't hurt"
But they lied, you got addicted & almost died.

When I first met you everything was great, but then it seemed like everything was getting fake. The smiles, the laughter was all I needed, then you picked up a bad habit & I told you to beat it. I tried to pick you up in the most craziest ways, I told you you didn't need it, that things arent better this way. But you didn't listen, no, you let it take over your body. You left your soul for months, this was no hobby. I cried, I screamed, I begged you to stop.  All the long sleepless nights didn't make you want to stop.