Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
pearl Mar 2020
the putrid smell of cigarette smoke and cheap whiskey breath feels like home.
           His arms felt like home, too.
      I knew him as the boy who’d party all night and make plans with me the next day only to sleep the whole time.
              I knew him as ****** noses from ******* and the young emphysemic cough that would **** a small part of me every time I heard it.
     I knew him as that big, stupid ******* smile.
I knew him as the boy who’d ride his bike to my house but would always be too worn out to ride his bike with me.
          I knew him as far too charming for his own good.
I knew him as perfectly imperfect.
       I know him as cold and unempathetic.
I know him as the boy who refused to get on the phone with me for closure.
     I know him as unstable.
I know him as manipulative.
      I know myself as someone who will never be more important than *******.
I know myself as someone who will never be more important than cigarettes.
     I know myself as just another doll who was tossed to the side by a child who got bored.
     The fetor of a coffin nail and the acidic aroma of Highlands Red still reminds me of him—
                 but only the version of him that I knew.
my experience of falling in love with an addict
Carter Feb 2020
I’m used to pulling all-nighters.
I’m used to very little sleep.
It’s the story of every insomniac.
But when I take a hit or do a line,
I’ll be awake for days at a time,
staying high enough to chase awake sleep.
I am on my fourth day of a binge,
and sleep continues to evade.
I don’t know if it would be worse
if i simply wait out the comedown,
or if i continue my breakdown.
Flaws don't absolve us of responsibility, yet they erode our agency
by compromising one's decision-making ability.
Sometimes I don't even know how I'm alive, but I promise I'll try
to do right by myself and live to my potential.
Carter Feb 2020
I want to say that I didn’t love the burn,
the one single tear falling.
I want to say that I only did it once,
but that would be a lie.
I want to say that I loved it more than you,
but you introduced me.
I loved it as much as I did you.
Carter Feb 2020
I felt as though i’d wandered into heaven
when i did my first line.
I felt untouchable and perfect,
but addiction did nothing for me.
As the pounds fell off my body,
I realized that i sold my soul to satan.
Adrian S Feb 2020
I could easily be addicted

EASILY be addicted.

I'm easily addicted.

or am I easily addictive?

or addictivly easy.

I'm easy?... me?

am I addictively easy?

easily an addict?

absolutely...not me!

I mustn't be.

YOU are the one addicted to me.
Kayla Gutierrez Feb 2020
Waiting for your love on this hot summer day
  I cry and cry the pain still stays
moms pacing in the kitchen making sure I’m okay
My second birthday
It wasn't the only special thing happening today
I was meeting you, Daddy
as you knocked on the door waiting to meet your baby girl
our souls touched and the pain went away
I always knew I was a daddy’s girl,
you were the first man I fell in love with
and the first man to break my heart
now I search this everlasting world
for something so viciously missing in my life,
trying to find someone who can fill the void in my soul,
the void that you were supposed to love,
if I ever meet you I will ask you why my precious face couldn't keep you
I guess no one really knows how addicts choose to live their life
I wanted to be your baby girl
and you wanted to party all night
with random girls, who felt the same as I do today,
the same void because all they wanted was to be a daddy's girl.
Steph Portuguez Jan 2020
She persuaded the curvature of the seam. A dressmaking utterly agonizing, to reach the smoothness one must perceive, it has a regret with the difficulty of repetition of a trend.

Her foul purport carbonated the clear intent. But an impecable illustration did provide them with the warmth they intend.
The cycle lacked precision but their pliancy was a treasure so **** filled with her preciousness.


Velveted silk portrait embraces and confines a cause within a retrospective, a muse divides with a major uproar, one with the furor of nature uncontrolled.

The spell of glamor enchanted the failed dorks. They daydreamed fuzzy temptations to achieve their doomed ******. Of their antagonised exchange was born an incurable rage. The vexed source became cursedly recruitable for their loveable tremors, she had no knowledge of their cultivated adoration.

This will be our temple to our redemption and acceleration. It has consumed us all, encased conscious with translucent locked up doors.

The excitation has endure the incommensurable, the deluge did occur in the future. The scorn we throw to each other is acceptable if I desire to engorge her, it'll wear off your vile will, it'll grant me her savoury thrill.

Velveted silk portrait I beg you not to demise and ascend. We'll ravage the essence of your pure command, although, our adoration is the realest love spell.

I was snarling when I saw you embosom him, it felt like you were entering something delightful and never ******* ending. What was behind the blinds it wasn't supposed to be appreciated, we were always stood in a horizontal line and pulling harsh, all acts performed were a praying for your preference.

Velveted silk portrait, we encouraged you to revoke your beauteous den, to an addictive merriment. We'll howl with devotion to this new founding arts, her paint sparkled in the now dusky lane. A palace never menacing to our welcoming, an unfair entrance to the terribly but tender embodiment.

The gladness finally dragged us to our unfair refinement.
Next page