I woke up with my head full of rocks and my stomach a butterfly museum

With several trying to escape up the back of my throat

Pain racks the rest of my body in waves

My brain is stripped of all that happened in the last 24 hours

Regret washes over me- only softly because...

At least for a moment I felt nothing

For a moment I was not reminded of this dull empty ache between my ribs

For a moment my head was in the clouds and my body was up there with it

The clouds were more like vapor I suppose

Surrounding my head in swirling patterns

Blocking every ugly view

Including my own reflection and the intentions behind it

The people around the mirror were only fuzzy thoughts

Only in the back of my mind do those people exist

And with every swallow they become further and further muddied in the darkness

Not one possible consequence riddles my thoughts

Only when the sun rises and I peel open my dry eyes do I think for a moment

And even full of regret I will do it again tonight.

So much pain in the bottom of a seally bag
And it reminds me of the life I could of really had
For every scar on my arm it never made me stay clam
Left my head ringing like alarm
The itch always burning like its ******
A need that I just couldn't run away from
And when I look around today and wonder where the hell have all my mates gone
Shackled up in chains I can't see they will ever break from
An this is only take one
But there's no take two
Thousand hits of Dimitri
still couldn't break through
So I'll have to make do
Knowing there's a part of me that loves and a part that really hates you
I never meant to hate you
I never meant to hate you

i got addicted to you
so easily

the withdrawal
almost killed me

Swallowing pills
                            again
                         ­              &
                                           again
Trying my best to get high again on the feeling, drugging myself up to remember the feeling of your lips, your warm touch, and inhale your deodorant, that succulent scent.

I want to be sleepless, and think in the night. And be happy, or sad, either one works
But I guess I just want to remember I’m alive

Happy,
             Sad,
                     Nostalgia that drains me, happy memories turning into sour nightly thoughts.

I think of the dark night sky, and I thought there was once stars in your eyes, yes, maybe.

You made me higher than I’d ever been, and I miss you my dear dear happy pill