You get up every day, you look in the mirror and see the same reflection as yesterday. Do you ever get tired of the never changing image that is your face? Does it ever make your heart ache?
Do you find yourself watching cheesy romance movies just to feel that jump in your heart that you thought you had forgotten, well sweety you're not alone. The day seems bright when you wake up and dark when you go to sleep. Thats how its supposed to feel. However, it is never supposed to make you want to scream at the top of your lungs. Its not supposed to make you doubt every choice you ever made. And the worst of all, its not supposed to make you want to tear your insides out just to feel something, cause you forgot what love feels like. You start to doubt if you're even human, you start to see things as they really are, as they shouldn't be, as you never wanted them to seem. The world isn't white or black, its a million different colors and somehow you find yourself in none of them, somehow your life seems bleak just because no one ever had the capacity of loving you, just because it feels like no one ever will. You start to believe the cruel things that the walls whisper to you, and you start to see them too. You want to make a difference in your life and you are positive that this new day, will keep its brightness through all hours. You tell yourself that, darling you are just as loveable as anyone else. You almost believe it. Then you see your reflection in the mirror at the school bathroom, at the club, at the mall, you still see the same dull eyes who once had stars in them, you see what you've become, you see the emptiness and the sorrow. The next thing you know, you're laying in bed, watching the notebook and answering the whispers with a simple: "You're right, who could ever love someone with no content whatsoever".

When you laugh
I feel like I've done what I was meant to do
When you speak
It's like listening to my favorite song on a loop
When you move
It's like watching a wave dance
When you look at me
My heart rises like a hot air balloon
When you say goodbye
My heart aches for more

It hurts
All of it
An ache
What an insatiable hunger
I'm hurting
Are you?

Have to fight their dragon themselves

I am tired of
the constant cycle of
aching and faking,
hurting and feeling,
breaking and healing,
fixing and mending,
It's like a never ending cycle,
and I am just tired.

Scarlet pierces through the knit wool sweater.
A harsh contrast against the untouched snow.
The gun comes down, her eyes are cold, yet her
ragged breath betrays fears she will not show.

Blinking, the aether coming into view.
One foot in the grave, I think of my wife.
A blood bubble bursts as if on a cue,
and all I think, "what a wonderful life."

born from a splitting
ache in the back-left of my head
like a drill bit whirring in an empty paint can.

i'd give you pearls for hands my love,
ever-winter washing over our foaming cerulean eyescapes.  

inside your drums I hear
a pulse that cries for
hips and thorns entangled
under your
navel.  

one more summer breath from lung to lung
exchanged
under moonlight for the promise of elevation.  
you are not
who you say you are
my dear - you are a
future memory
stalking sweetly today under the guise
of novel pleasure , but time will
reveal your skin to me
under the electric lavender
of my
eyelids.

you are wood grain
and strata -
born too, it seems, from a splitting.