The ground caves way as it lets me in.
Almost as if I was meant to be here in tangles of grass.
With the bugs
With the sun beaming down on my taught skin of age.
My ribs itch my skin
And my eyes watch clouds and stars until they dissolve with the beauty of it all.
The trees sing, and I listen with shriveled ears until I no longer listen.
I sink, and sink, and sink,
And then, can I finally sleep in peace.
What is it that you wish
As you stare at the sky
The moon and stars watching you as you watch them
Do you sing the song that should not be sung? Or does the moon ask you too?
I lay in bed and hope
That one day I will not wilt into the sheets of my dread
And only then can I float in the impossible
Sometimes I can't pick apart why
Why I choke on the bitterness of my own hurtful words
I want not to see you, but I can't imagine life without you
Why when you enter, my being goes rigid
Like a wooden board that won't snap, but will hurt when tempted
Both you and the board
There's always this pressure behind my eyes, right at the top of them
Like someone tied heavy rocks to my head and told me keep my head up
I hate that word
"Keep my head up"
I'd rather keep looking down so I won't trip into reality
Can I sit and stare?
Can I just listen to the hums of appliances?
As if they were someone speaking and being ignored
How could they be ignored now that it's hushed around here?
The whole right side of my upper teeth hurt. Probably these braces.
The darkness is right there
But the light is over there too
It won't make sense to many people
But it was so much easier to walk into the dark and watch the light
What it would feel like