I was besotted  with your mother,
In life,I wanted no other,
Then we were blessed with you my love,
Our treasure trove.
Our life became sweeter,
With you adding that extra glitter.
The first moment I saw the sparkle in your eyes,
You brought me to my knees,
I see you grow hour by hour,
Bloom like an exotic flower,
Colourful petals of love and happiness on us you shower.
You are a jar of jellies,
Full of fun,holding delightful memories,
Your antics are hilarious,
Your laughter contagious.
When you wrapped your tiny fingers around my hand,
You had me bewitched like a magic wand.
You and I share a special bond,
That will never break,now and beyond.
In our life no one can compare your worth,
From the day you were born to eternity on this earth.
You are our little girl,
Around you our life twirls.

love has buried me ,
and i am like an
                           ache.

but
you were fire
and
i was ice —

and there were mountains
in between us,
                         gods
.

so when you buried me ,
i
let myself die ,

and you did not ache.
did not
             even
                      cry.
.

i would **** for you —
you know ,, ?

stain my white dress in red :
for
you .
                     .

blood dripping down a
knife
i would swear i never
held
.

but
they would end up catching me
of course ,

they always do —

and
the devil would sneer
,
disappointed ,

lace dress tight —
her lips curled in painted pink ,
when everything seems
so
h o t .
           .

because
               she knows
that
while
i would **** for you,
i
would never,
                       ever
die.

i cried my eyes out for
you:
thick,
         laundry detergent
                              tears,
in sickly smelling blues .
.
.

i will never be the same,
                  i
               sup
               pos
                 e
                  ,
stained in white and red .
.
.
                                    

you know i know who
did
this
to
me,
right?
i can smell it on you .
.
.

my                      love,
do i               sure cry
for        you, my
broken heart,
it aches for you,
but          my love,
my                love is
not                    forever .
.
.

I want to be
the
Cruel type of
Beautiful--

with my lips dripping
Blood and my dress
Trailing jewels,
My insecurities hidden between each
Fold of silk, saying
"I can **** if I must//"
but I won't

The kind where
after crying  
my eyes are red-
(Not from sadness
But)
from anger and dissociation,
and people fear what I have not said--
With my  
heart stitches torn open, and ink
Seeping through

and I'll never have to
Apologize.

I have been in love, before --
I think
.
.
.

The kind of love where
Your heart
squeezes
in your Chest
and you
Feel like you're exploding
From the inside out and
You cannot hear
Anything,
Anything at all/but them


and it was real--
I tell myself.
My friends tell me.
They told me.

As real as being young could
Be...
The kind of real you get from sobbing and laughing
While your stomach melts your
Heart and your brain fries to
Bits
.
.
.
From their smile..,
Or their frown.
:(


But
I don't remember crying--
Just forgetting
.
.
.

How
one day my lungs were back to
Normal size and
My brain no longer
Screamed...

And (how) they weren't
in the obituary section
of the news.

send me to heaven,
or **** me in the process.

dont
get too close,
or the smell of alcohol
will rub onto you, the way
his presence already has.

dont
get too close,
or he'll abuse you
like he does drugs,
and me.

dont
get too close,
or he'll start a fire
in your heart, too,
made of gasoline and
my tears.