I was born with a glass cup.
My brothers and sisters,
They had plastic ones.

My older sister dropped her cup once.
She picked it up, washed it off, and filled it back up with water.

I too eventually dropped my cup.
I picked it up, washed it off, and cut my finger on the chipped rim.
I didn't understand why;
My sisters glass was fine -
     What happend?

One day I met a girl.
She had a glass like mine.
She showed me how to make it look like new - just hide the broken spots.

One day we were playing and i dropped my glass.
She picked it up, and cut her hand.
She left to get a bandaid.
I stay'd to run and play.

It's been 7 years.
Almost half my life.
The doctors filled my glass with cement -
So no more water would spill out.

She found a way to take her cup,
And dip it into plastic.
When she did she caught wind -
Glass is only for the problematic.

I hope someday she'll look at her hand -
That scar i gave to her.
Hopefully she'll not just remember me -
But forgive me for what i've done.
I never ment for this to happen.

I've been up for hours, not really my choice.
I sold myself short, thirty percent off to the devil, I constantly hear his voice.
This isn't my life.
I should've settled for two kids and a wife.
But I got complacent.
Everything in those moments felt good so why not.
Now I sit.
In the dark.
Alone.
Depression deep down, I can feel it to the bone.
With nothing to call my own.
I really wanna go home.
Other side of the country just trying to build my own;
Throan.

I've made too many mistakes.
However, they all made me;
Somehow.
Blurred vision when I think of destiny.
Or maybe it's the fifth of Hennessy.
Why can't I just jump and know for a fact I got the remedy.

More life.
Longevity.
More juice.
I'm seeing two sides of me, but switching up or pick and choose.
I'm staring at a tree trying not to eat forbidden fruit,
While I'm sinking in the ground, could I be meeting my roots.
Maybe I should freshen up and clean my Georgia, Henry county unfilled shoes, just to get,
More life.
But I'm Only Human.

It is hard to imagine
Seeing a whole person
When the mirror shattered
And left shards in the same shape
As the scars on my arms
That divide me into two people.
one I wish I could escape
one who refuses to give way
To anything other than
Depreciation
Unwelcomed recollection
On times of skin fairer, clearer, kinder

I was a believer
Long after the other girls got interested in parties and boys

I would sit on my heels on the floor of the school library
And stare at the musty shelves of stories, searching for my next fantasy

I was a true believer
It seemed strange to me that while all of these characters, my friends,
kept finding magic in their worlds
mine was devoid and empty
I kept wondering, Why not me?

I was sure the magic was just hiding from me
Waiting for the right time to show itself
Waiting until I was ready to become the heroine
Every windy night, every walk into the woods,
I would think
This time, it will come for me
But it never did

I had a book on forest faeries and how to find them
After waiting and waiting all of those years
Clinging to my last hope, I decided I would give the magic one more chance
I went out to my back yard
To the perfect faery tree, with all the knots and holes in its trunk
And deep red berries stirring gently with the warm breeze
I stood under it, hands clasped, eyes closed
And waited one last time
Please I begged Please

And that was the day I stopped believing

From then on, I was determined to be a rationalist
An evidence-only type of girl
I switched to kneeling before the science fiction shelves
Followed the inventions of today's great tech scape
It was magic in its own sort of way

But my metaphoric heart has never quite given up on the romance of true magic
It loves it in a tragic, primal sort of way
It wants to make my life into a hero journey of fate and destiny
It wants there to be something more to this world
A something mysterious, a something beautiful
All my head and heart seem to do is contradict

A long time ago, I used to be a believer
But ever since I decided to give up on magic
It seems that magic has refused to set me free.

To be empowered is to be proud
To be proud is to be hopeful
And to be hopeful you must fear
Because to fear is to be human
And be human you must withdraw
And to withdraw you must have a soul
And to have a soul you must be alive
And to be alive you must have a heart
And to have a heart you must let them go
And to let go is to be empowered

I gave my car insurance
but myself none
Living in a bed sprung by money
and covered with a loaded gun
If you want to ****
then ask to be mine
We can be smoke breathers,
tossing our leftovers in
eachother's freezers.

I've got America's chewing gum
stuck to my vintage tread.
Viva la sell me myself
before I'm dead.
But my hair is knock-off foaming cream,
and you have to ignore it in my
wanna-go-far movie star dream.

My nails are splintered with dirt
from twisting the skirt
of my reflection
and I feel so deranged
because my whole life is staged
and I don't have enough
money to watch it.