I'd rather live my life not knowing
When I'll pack up my belongings
And wave cold goodbyes to my loved ones
Watch them heal themselves at the funeral
Which isn't really for me
But for their hurt hearts
It'll be then when my world transforms
To black and white
Colorless
No more happiness
They cry when I'm born
They cry when I die
And thy cry with every little other thing
That's hurt me in my life
Why is sadness a thing?
Sadness is like a *** of gum
It has that initial burst of flavor
Which slowly fades away
But you still chew it
Because it's there
And you just for some reason
You don't let it go
Until you go to bed
Where you can just experience
A nightmare
Instead
Though I'd rather not know my death day
Until the snow is melted
And I am imbetted
In the ground

red pen lines cover pale thighs and i am almost ashamed.

1 eyes meet
2 a smile
3 bubbly conversation
4 hang out for a while
5 no sleeping we're on the phone
6 just when things seem great..no reply
7 suddenly feel alone
8 cry
9 move on with time
10 another pair meet mine

Every night when I go to bed
I toss and turn
Can't rest my head

A man that stares outside the glass
The night that never seems to pass

Who is this man
I do not know
The air is still, a distant glow

This man is dark but he isn't bad
Reminds me of my unknown Dad

He holds a smile thats oh so bright
And when I start to fall asleep
He disappears and says "goodnight"