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23.2k · Sep 2014
sun rays
seasonalskins Sep 2014
i remember how you were
                                         reaching out,

trying to grasp rays of the sun

desperate for a searching light
to glisten in your darkness

too late,

for the sun had set in
hills and valleys
waiting for morning
to be born

again
14.2k · Aug 2014
her voice
seasonalskins Aug 2014
her voice
tripped over cobble stones
drifted through waves

her voice
echoed in empty rooms
cracked through walls

her voice,
stays knotted in her throat
10.0k · Jan 2015
honesty
seasonalskins Jan 2015
a misguided symphony
forging its way
to the rest-
less form which writhes
and shifts
in cotton sheets
of yester-
day
it's been a long time.
9.2k · May 2014
roots (10w)
seasonalskins May 2014
plant me in another garden
so i'm not rooted here
7.5k · Aug 2014
reality
seasonalskins Aug 2014
please don't escape
i want you here
living, breathing,
existing

you are alive,
4.9k · Jul 2014
glass
seasonalskins Jul 2014
you are not just skin and bones
you are delicate,
a bit like glass

stop cutting yourself over
the brokenness you try to find
3.8k · Jun 2014
nostalgic (12w)
seasonalskins Jun 2014
you never really hated the memories,
only who you shared them with
3.8k · May 2014
thinking of you
seasonalskins May 2014
you are a thought
casually sifting through
my mind,
time to time
3.7k · May 2014
let's start afresh (10w)
seasonalskins May 2014
i wish to unmeet you
         only to meet you again.
3.5k · Aug 2014
not so sweet disposition
seasonalskins Aug 2014
pardon my inadequacy,
i'm always two steps behind
or a mile ahead,
and yet i find myself drifting
along the sea of people,
catching parts of lost souls
and blurring corners of conversation
title somewhat inspired by temper trap
3.4k · Aug 2014
change (10w)
seasonalskins Aug 2014
losing weight - my body finds it hard to let go
3.2k · Jan 2015
"go outside"
2.9k · Jul 2014
clarity
seasonalskins Jul 2014
why are we so obsessed
with fixing ourselves
or finding someone else who will

we're not puzzles
or riddles
or broken

we're not really lost
we're wandering
we are travellers

we're neither things
we are human
we are feelings

we don't need someone to
complete us
or fix us

stop trying to convince yourself
that you need for someone
to replace that loneliness

darling,
light a fire
and let yourself feel the warmth
2.5k · Jun 2014
blank spaces
seasonalskins Jun 2014
we often mistake spaces for emptiness
when we are powerless
when we are boundless

we often don't realise
these spaces aren't empty
and we can be anything
we have a finite life
with infinite choices

so that's why these spaces are blank;
the vacancy awaits to be occupied
2.0k · Jul 2014
uncomfortable
seasonalskins Jul 2014
you are not the reason
i cannot feel comfort
amongst people

how can i begin to explain
the deep unsettling discomfort
waiting to erupt from under my skin

when i am among you
i am in the between
neither here or there

i think about things
things that hold me back
things i can't set free

i'm not letting you see me
because i am living
uncomfortably in my own skin

so if shutting myself out
will save you of discomfort,
so be it
1.2k · Mar 2014
i am a tree
seasonalskins Mar 2014
i am a tree
i am an observer
i do not speak
i listen and listen
and wait patiently
for something to witness
as i stand still silently

i see
war and
**** and
****** and
suicide and
all brutalities,
caused by
human nature

but i see
love and
joy and
character and
movement and
all endless possibilities,
caused by
human nature

i do not have a voice
i cannot move
i can only grow
higher and higher
closer to the sun,
i can only change
the colours of my leaves
to aware others
of new seasons

i provide oxygen
for all these infinite beings
and i do not know
how many years i will
be rooted here
as an insignificant
on-looker
1.1k · Feb 2014
ward 14
seasonalskins Feb 2014
part i.

my room
clean, precise
ready
a navy dress
dainty, floral
like a little girl
loved

landing lights off
scuffle of feet rushing
silence
in this serenity
i am chaos

soft music soothing
a specialised playlist
could this be an anymore
cliché way to die?

i listen to time
awaiting a moment
sent by a rhythm

02:00
hold on
32 pills
34
or was it 68?
it doesn’t matter

02:30
what future?
there is no war
it’s all in my head

stop
what
no
need
thoughts
out
dizzy

‘help’

part ii.

what were you thinking
are you crazy
stupid stupid girl
how many

why

I don’t know
not anymore
but it will be fine
I will go to sleep

no fuss

agitation
irritable
useless
annoyance

what had I expect

strangers in the room
my room
but the only stranger
was me

I had known nothing less

voices?
did they tell you to do this?
I laughed in my mind
how cliché do they think I am

no it’s just me

part iii.

numbness and weariness
overwhelmed me
bitter bile rose
a long day ahead

name?
address?
birth date?
what made you do this?

over and over again
ringing in my ears
as I answered in the numbness
I had become

a barcode being scanned
not being looked at once more
I fought the urge to lie
well not completely

ward 14
darkness
panic
blankness

part iv.

drip drip drip
awoken to a beat
my heart or
the machine
I wish I knew

awoken to regret
a coward
a shadow
always

light shining
outside
I have become an outsider

ironically

part v.**

her scars.
trailing down her arms
I wonder
how long would it take
for her scar in her mind to heal

I make suicide look normal

her screams.
rattled the bones in my body
she was
an unravelled mayhem
in pandemonium

her shouts.
were more like pleading
between herself
and whom appeared
a fragment of a nightmare

her crying.
lasted for hours
all through the night
when she stopped
it was only the crying that stopped

I was the intruder

there was a silence in ward 14
I wanted anything but a silence
to think
think
think

looking at her sleeping form
I wonder
what she wanted to forget
but no
silence is louder than words

I was told I could go home
I should have wanted to
but there was a safeness
a safeness like me
security from outside

as I walked away
the weight of eyes
made me sink into a guilt
that I dare not look back
at ward 14
897 · Apr 2016
body
seasonalskins Apr 2016
often i look down at myself,
my body,
and ask myself what have i done to it?

these feet,
used to nakedly wander through grass,
roll wobbly on blades,
kick carelessly in water.
now,
they sink into quicksand.

these legs,
used to run for infinity,
swing into clean air,
lounge across chair arms.
now,
they are streaked pale.

this stomach,
used to tremble with light,
dance in the sun,
lie flat.
now,
it dips in hills and valleys.

these arms,
used to lace through trees,
hang heavily on bars,
hold my body.
now,
they recoil.

these hands,
used to form art with fire,
write to remember,
caress plant buds.
now,
they pick at petals.

this body.
now,
stained with regret.
a poem i will go back to and revise, i haven't written a poem for so long but i finally felt like it
870 · Aug 2014
i need to know
seasonalskins Aug 2014
because if you can tell me who i am
with arrangements of 26 letters,

maybe i can call my body home
670 · Jan 2014
slumber
seasonalskins Jan 2014
let me sleep
in a deep slumber
until the pillows suffocate me
until the bed envelops me
how kind

let me sleep
long enough
so I never awake
to burdens
of a restless mind

leave me be
so I never hear
another cry
echoing echoing
in the brain

leave me be
an undisturbed state
not in vain, nor pain
but rather,
sane
665 · Jul 2014
escapists
seasonalskins Jul 2014
we're all good at escapism
we hide ourselves in books
we live on movies
we breathe music

we devote ourselves to anything

when will we step outside
and take in everything
the people, our environment

look around

and see humanity for what it is
rather than conceal it all
we can't spend our lives scared

let's be

let's not rely on other things
to keep us temporarily absent
580 · Feb 2014
silence
seasonalskins Feb 2014
she is afraid of silence
(maybe because of her parents)
so that when she is surrounded by people
she would rather be engulfed
by the conversations and
l o u d n e s s
than amplify the silence
that awaits to shake her
pretty, dainty body
506 · May 2014
words
seasonalskins May 2014
people say silence speaks
louder than words
but tell me
how does silence balance
the e c h o
of you

it doesn't matter how much
i rearrange twenty-six letters
i still cannot bring myself
to s p e a k
let alone have the right words to say,
ironically
490 · Feb 2014
fog
seasonalskins Feb 2014
fog
you,* so brutally honest,
when i know you're just
bitter
in fact misunderstood,
your thoughts
litter

you, an observer,
believing you know each crack of
me
but my lies have blinded
what you think you
see

you, self-destructive,
a loaded missile
ready
but desperate for sleep
and a soft, beautiful
melody

you, a curled chaos,
trying to be
hopeful
for something,
for someone
blissful

you, like fog,
eventually faded
away
484 · May 2014
you
seasonalskins May 2014
you
you are a river
always constant, always changing
always sweeping up everything that
f
          a
l
          l
         s        
                 into
     you
450 · May 2014
v
seasonalskins May 2014
v
you are a habit
a routine
affecting me
hopelessly

you are the sky
always there
above me
     what do you see?

you are a bird
wanderlust
and free
without me
448 · May 2014
v (part ii)
seasonalskins May 2014
you
are the cause
and the
effect

and letting go of you
would cause me
the greatest
displeasure

yet you would
still be the greatest
effect, I wish to not
remember.
433 · Feb 2014
natural forces
seasonalskins Feb 2014
her lines on her forehead
are not the cause of stress,
they are waves that overlap
the constant ticking of her thoughts
waiting for a disposition; a tsunami
to sweep through her mind

burnt by the sun,
a touch to her skin pains her
leaving her vulnerable and subdued
all she wants is the sensation of rain
to cleanse the skin of discomfort
leaving her pure

wind rattles her bones
(or what is left anyway)
and catches her last breath
her body becomes fine particles
that are then swept up by
a soft, warm breeze
(she would rather die from the force of nature, than die by humanity)
399 · Jun 2014
sharp tongues (15w)
seasonalskins Jun 2014
sharp blows may have rattled my
bones
but caustic words sank my soul with
stones
360 · Mar 2014
music
seasonalskins Mar 2014
music allows you to
i n h a l e;
to breathe, live, and
exist.
e x h a l e;
to breathe, live, and
exist.
298 · Mar 2014
uninspired (10w)
seasonalskins Mar 2014
artists are not the only ones
who need a muse
267 · May 2014
alone
seasonalskins May 2014
i like being alone

it's either because of
the velvet comfort that hugs you
telling you
to listen to your breathing
to be kind to only yourself
or
how i don't need to
drown in the sea of people
who make me
want to **** them
or myself

— The End —