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Apr 2016 · 921
seasonalskins Apr 2016
often i look down at myself,
my body,
and ask myself what have i done to it?

these feet,
used to nakedly wander through grass,
roll wobbly on blades,
kick carelessly in water.
they sink into quicksand.

these legs,
used to run for infinity,
swing into clean air,
lounge across chair arms.
they are streaked pale.

this stomach,
used to tremble with light,
dance in the sun,
lie flat.
it dips in hills and valleys.

these arms,
used to lace through trees,
hang heavily on bars,
hold my body.
they recoil.

these hands,
used to form art with fire,
write to remember,
caress plant buds.
they pick at petals.

this body.
stained with regret.
a poem i will go back to and revise, i haven't written a poem for so long but i finally felt like it
Jan 2015 · 3.2k
"go outside"
Jan 2015 · 9.8k
seasonalskins Jan 2015
a misguided symphony
forging its way
to the rest-
less form which writhes
and shifts
in cotton sheets
of yester-
it's been a long time.
Sep 2014 · 22.9k
sun rays
seasonalskins Sep 2014
i remember how you were
                                         reaching out,

trying to grasp rays of the sun

desperate for a searching light
to glisten in your darkness

too late,

for the sun had set in
hills and valleys
waiting for morning
to be born

Aug 2014 · 3.4k
change (10w)
seasonalskins Aug 2014
losing weight - my body finds it hard to let go
Aug 2014 · 3.5k
not so sweet disposition
seasonalskins Aug 2014
pardon my inadequacy,
i'm always two steps behind
or a mile ahead,
and yet i find myself drifting
along the sea of people,
catching parts of lost souls
and blurring corners of conversation
title somewhat inspired by temper trap
Aug 2014 · 7.5k
seasonalskins Aug 2014
please don't escape
i want you here
living, breathing,

you are alive,
Aug 2014 · 877
i need to know
seasonalskins Aug 2014
because if you can tell me who i am
with arrangements of 26 letters,

maybe i can call my body home
Aug 2014 · 14.1k
her voice
seasonalskins Aug 2014
her voice
tripped over cobble stones
drifted through waves

her voice
echoed in empty rooms
cracked through walls

her voice,
stays knotted in her throat
Jul 2014 · 2.0k
seasonalskins Jul 2014
you are not the reason
i cannot feel comfort
amongst people

how can i begin to explain
the deep unsettling discomfort
waiting to erupt from under my skin

when i am among you
i am in the between
neither here or there

i think about things
things that hold me back
things i can't set free

i'm not letting you see me
because i am living
uncomfortably in my own skin

so if shutting myself out
will save you of discomfort,
so be it
Jul 2014 · 2.9k
seasonalskins Jul 2014
why are we so obsessed
with fixing ourselves
or finding someone else who will

we're not puzzles
or riddles
or broken

we're not really lost
we're wandering
we are travellers

we're neither things
we are human
we are feelings

we don't need someone to
complete us
or fix us

stop trying to convince yourself
that you need for someone
to replace that loneliness

light a fire
and let yourself feel the warmth
Jul 2014 · 4.9k
seasonalskins Jul 2014
you are not just skin and bones
you are delicate,
a bit like glass

stop cutting yourself over
the brokenness you try to find
Jul 2014 · 687
seasonalskins Jul 2014
we're all good at escapism
we hide ourselves in books
we live on movies
we breathe music

we devote ourselves to anything

when will we step outside
and take in everything
the people, our environment

look around

and see humanity for what it is
rather than conceal it all
we can't spend our lives scared

let's be

let's not rely on other things
to keep us temporarily absent
Jun 2014 · 404
sharp tongues (15w)
seasonalskins Jun 2014
sharp blows may have rattled my
but caustic words sank my soul with
Jun 2014 · 2.4k
blank spaces
seasonalskins Jun 2014
we often mistake spaces for emptiness
when we are powerless
when we are boundless

we often don't realise
these spaces aren't empty
and we can be anything
we have a finite life
with infinite choices

so that's why these spaces are blank;
the vacancy awaits to be occupied
Jun 2014 · 3.9k
nostalgic (12w)
seasonalskins Jun 2014
you never really hated the memories,
only who you shared them with
May 2014 · 522
seasonalskins May 2014
people say silence speaks
louder than words
but tell me
how does silence balance
the e c h o
of you

it doesn't matter how much
i rearrange twenty-six letters
i still cannot bring myself
to s p e a k
let alone have the right words to say,
May 2014 · 3.8k
thinking of you
seasonalskins May 2014
you are a thought
casually sifting through
my mind,
time to time
May 2014 · 3.7k
let's start afresh (10w)
seasonalskins May 2014
i wish to unmeet you
         only to meet you again.
May 2014 · 463
v (part ii)
seasonalskins May 2014
are the cause
and the

and letting go of you
would cause me
the greatest

yet you would
still be the greatest
effect, I wish to not
May 2014 · 466
seasonalskins May 2014
you are a habit
a routine
affecting me

you are the sky
always there
above me
     what do you see?

you are a bird
and free
without me
May 2014 · 505
seasonalskins May 2014
you are a river
always constant, always changing
always sweeping up everything that
May 2014 · 9.2k
roots (10w)
seasonalskins May 2014
plant me in another garden
so i'm not rooted here
May 2014 · 281
seasonalskins May 2014
i like being alone

it's either because of
the velvet comfort that hugs you
telling you
to listen to your breathing
to be kind to only yourself
how i don't need to
drown in the sea of people
who make me
want to **** them
or myself
Mar 2014 · 1.2k
i am a tree
seasonalskins Mar 2014
i am a tree
i am an observer
i do not speak
i listen and listen
and wait patiently
for something to witness
as i stand still silently

i see
war and
**** and
****** and
suicide and
all brutalities,
caused by
human nature

but i see
love and
joy and
character and
movement and
all endless possibilities,
caused by
human nature

i do not have a voice
i cannot move
i can only grow
higher and higher
closer to the sun,
i can only change
the colours of my leaves
to aware others
of new seasons

i provide oxygen
for all these infinite beings
and i do not know
how many years i will
be rooted here
as an insignificant
Mar 2014 · 368
seasonalskins Mar 2014
music allows you to
i n h a l e;
to breathe, live, and
e x h a l e;
to breathe, live, and
Mar 2014 · 314
uninspired (10w)
seasonalskins Mar 2014
artists are not the only ones
who need a muse
Feb 2014 · 430
natural forces
seasonalskins Feb 2014
her lines on her forehead
are not the cause of stress,
they are waves that overlap
the constant ticking of her thoughts
waiting for a disposition; a tsunami
to sweep through her mind

burnt by the sun,
a touch to her skin pains her
leaving her vulnerable and subdued
all she wants is the sensation of rain
to cleanse the skin of discomfort
leaving her pure

wind rattles her bones
(or what is left anyway)
and catches her last breath
her body becomes fine particles
that are then swept up by
a soft, warm breeze
(she would rather die from the force of nature, than die by humanity)
Feb 2014 · 603
seasonalskins Feb 2014
she is afraid of silence
(maybe because of her parents)
so that when she is surrounded by people
she would rather be engulfed
by the conversations and
l o u d n e s s
than amplify the silence
that awaits to shake her
pretty, dainty body
Feb 2014 · 506
seasonalskins Feb 2014
you,* so brutally honest,
when i know you're just
in fact misunderstood,
your thoughts

you, an observer,
believing you know each crack of
but my lies have blinded
what you think you

you, self-destructive,
a loaded missile
but desperate for sleep
and a soft, beautiful

you, a curled chaos,
trying to be
for something,
for someone

you, like fog,
eventually faded
Feb 2014 · 1.1k
ward 14
seasonalskins Feb 2014
part i.

my room
clean, precise
a navy dress
dainty, floral
like a little girl

landing lights off
scuffle of feet rushing
in this serenity
i am chaos

soft music soothing
a specialised playlist
could this be an anymore
cliché way to die?

i listen to time
awaiting a moment
sent by a rhythm

hold on
32 pills
or was it 68?
it doesn’t matter

what future?
there is no war
it’s all in my head



part ii.

what were you thinking
are you crazy
stupid stupid girl
how many


I don’t know
not anymore
but it will be fine
I will go to sleep

no fuss


what had I expect

strangers in the room
my room
but the only stranger
was me

I had known nothing less

did they tell you to do this?
I laughed in my mind
how cliché do they think I am

no it’s just me

part iii.

numbness and weariness
overwhelmed me
bitter bile rose
a long day ahead

birth date?
what made you do this?

over and over again
ringing in my ears
as I answered in the numbness
I had become

a barcode being scanned
not being looked at once more
I fought the urge to lie
well not completely

ward 14

part iv.

drip drip drip
awoken to a beat
my heart or
the machine
I wish I knew

awoken to regret
a coward
a shadow

light shining
I have become an outsider


part v.**

her scars.
trailing down her arms
I wonder
how long would it take
for her scar in her mind to heal

I make suicide look normal

her screams.
rattled the bones in my body
she was
an unravelled mayhem
in pandemonium

her shouts.
were more like pleading
between herself
and whom appeared
a fragment of a nightmare

her crying.
lasted for hours
all through the night
when she stopped
it was only the crying that stopped

I was the intruder

there was a silence in ward 14
I wanted anything but a silence
to think

looking at her sleeping form
I wonder
what she wanted to forget
but no
silence is louder than words

I was told I could go home
I should have wanted to
but there was a safeness
a safeness like me
security from outside

as I walked away
the weight of eyes
made me sink into a guilt
that I dare not look back
at ward 14
Jan 2014 · 680
seasonalskins Jan 2014
let me sleep
in a deep slumber
until the pillows suffocate me
until the bed envelops me
how kind

let me sleep
long enough
so I never awake
to burdens
of a restless mind

leave me be
so I never hear
another cry
echoing echoing
in the brain

leave me be
an undisturbed state
not in vain, nor pain
but rather,

— The End —