Last night’s nightmares carved me open
and bled me of all belief-
Like they had a map guide to every vein
and knew where your love was stored
I woke this morning so very empty
and tired.

Don't say you love me.
I have a hard time
accepting those words.
Like they are foreign and
do not translate into my
native tongue.

Don't look at me
with such kind eyes.
It burns my skin and
overheats me.
Like sun rays on
newly exposed flesh.

Don't hold me so tenderly.
My body can't handle
the pain of your gentleness.
It has been conditioned
to the harshness of humanity
And may break apart if
handled any other way.

Don't leave me.
I know I am difficult,
closed off and crazy.
Truly a complicated puzzle
to piece together.
But I promise I am
worth it.

I tried this person on some time ago
And she stuck
I’ve been fighting every since
to get her off
To remove her skin from my bones
Her darkness from my mind
Her tears from my eyes
But it all seems at bit lodged
And the more I struggle
The tighter she holds on

I ache to say more
I long to expose my truth
To walk into your arms upright
and strong
To speak in crystal clarity
until you know
What I dream, what I could be, with you
But, here I am
Mistakenly pushing it all away
Because love has always
had conditions
and trust always abused
and I have never been anything
but hurt.

When the words inside my head
batter and bruise me.
When the strength I call on to lift
myself up is leaking from my
eyes.
When I've run all I can run and
there are no songs left to cover
old hurts.
When I am about to crumble
because I can take no more.
You pull me into your lap
and nuzzle my hair.
You hold me tight against your
chest and shush the cruel words
causing me pain.
You wipe the tears from my cheeks
and silently become my strength.

When I am incapable of loving
myself
You do it for me.

I'm a puzzle with no corner pieces-
complicated and frustrating
but breathtaking when finally put
together.
Faded blue jeans, bare feet, and
a mass of wild curls.
Southern accented blunt truths
and sharp accessing eyes
that have forgotten their true color.
Messy scribbled words on heaps
of discarded paper
and gorgeous journals with empty
pages.
I am a piano player in private
and a singer in the shower.
Paint splattered hands
and a girl finding beauty
behind a lens.
A quiet thinker
with a head full of screaming
thoughts.
I am a lovely mess of
contradictions.

I fell for your charms
and your smile.
I tumbled head first into
your sweet words
and grey eyes.
I complimented your
sheep’s wool
and ignored your vicious fangs.
Until the claws of you were
in too deep
And the path away from you
was overgrown and dense.
I ran after you a girl
starved for love
And you saw my hunger from
a mile away.
The red of it waving-
signaling your easy prey
And you pounced.
Tore me limb from limb
and smashed all hope.
You with your cunning
were no match
And my naivety almost
ended me.