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 Aug 2014 pixels
MS Lynch
I’m sorry if my body fat
triggers feelings of disgust in you,
but I hope you’re ready
because I’m about to shoot the gun.
Please, don’t feed the fat girl in a bikini on the beach.
My skin is not an insult, a statement, an apology,
or something to be picked and pulled apart
by your crisp magazine pages.
I refuse to cry over the pale white lines that show I
have blossomed from a child into a wide-hipped woman.
I don’t need a man to tell me that my body is acceptable,
merely by his standards of what his ******* rises for.
I’m sorry if my life makes me happy, and your life makes you not,
but I choose weight over senseless standards because
I can be beautiful with double-digit-sized pants.
Maybe you are uncomfortable with your
own uncomfortableness and with my
security in my flawed skin.
And although many of my “sorry(’s)” in this passage
are sarcastic, I am genuinely sorry that someone can feel
so negative in the only space that will ever truly be their own.
Please, don’t feed the fat girl in a bikini on the beach,
she does not need bitter and hateful words
that will literally eat away at her.
She’d much rather you go find someone
who actually gives a ****.
 Aug 2014 pixels
pam
Stomach ache
Stomach ache
I'll flash a smile, they wont notice its fake.
Stomach pain
Stomach pain
I'll force myself its fine, because i dont wanna gain.
Stomach ache
Stomach ache
I will do whatever it takes
Stomach pain
Stomach pain
Stop, not again.
Stomach ache
Stomach ache
Im going to control myself, for Pete's sake.
Stomach pain
Stomach pain
I know im insane
But you cant stop me, never again.
Because by feeling such PAINS and ACHES
Makes me stronger, and Im strong enough to handle this.
I am not the slave of my body.

                                           *P.D
Yup, me right now.
 Aug 2014 pixels
Jackeline Chacon
Dreaming of walking model thin
Unaware she's bones and skin

She lives in a damaged brain
Drowned from her vomiting pain

Her insecurity torn up her mind
Left her bulimic and mentally blind

Always hugging her toilet beside
Half dead from purging her soul inside

Crying because her ugly reflection
She won't give up until she's perfection
 Aug 2014 pixels
Jackeline Chacon
I expect the same love
Received from early age

Betrayed and neglected
Inside my mental cage

Now I live like a ******
From my childhood pain

Getting hurt very young
Really damaged my brain

Forever I will live this way
Feeling sick and confused

To be such a young victim
A child sexually abused
 Aug 2014 pixels
Jackeline Chacon
You say you love me

But I know you like her

And you still wonder why

I live so deeply insecure
 Aug 2014 pixels
Jackeline Chacon
I need some medicine
Maybe a pill to take

It's night time again
I still remain awake

So many thoughts
Run across my head

Too much thinking
Will I ever go to bed?

I wish to shut my eyes
Will I ever get some rest?

I probably won't sleep
Insomnia is at it's best
 Aug 2014 pixels
Jackeline Chacon
He stripped me down naked
Under those passionate eyes

Then my body began to melt
With hot chills on my thighs

My soul was devoured away
Trapped under a lustful spell

So powerless under his gaze
A seduction game played well
 Aug 2014 pixels
Jackeline Chacon
Hello my name is Anorexia
I will make you an obsessive freak
You will hate yourself
I will make you hungry and weak

I will turn your meat to bones
You will lose excessive weight
You must be super skinny
Food you must hate

Skinny is perfect
So your diet is strict
You live struggling
Because you are an addict

Do not eat breakfast
The scale numbers matter
Do not eat lunch
Do not get fatter

I promise to make you beautiful
I am your best friend
I will make you so skinny
Even if your life might end
 Aug 2014 pixels
Nihl
Starve
 Aug 2014 pixels
Nihl
Her hair is dark and her eyes are glowing,
like light bouncing back at me from a panthers tapetum,
a hungry carnivore.
-
I asked what she wanted from me
“Your soul” she replied.
"I would if I could” I thought.
But I knew a soul couldn't be given away so easily,
it is not bought and sold like a mundane possession.
Instead a soul is lent, borrowed or stolen from it’s owner
as tiny little pieces,
fragmentation of a whole.
-
Particulars of life essence
experience caught between breaths
like the soup of oblivion between stars.

N.H.
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