Nikita

Nikita Jul 2018

My name is Nikita
I am 19

I was 6
when he ***** me
my sister was 3

I was 7
when I realized I'm human

I was 10
when he killed my dog in front of me

I was 12
when he played strip poker with me

I was 13
when he attempted suicide

3pm, in the next room

I was 14
when I leaned out the ledge of a bridge

Fast forward to 19

I'm alive
I'm safe
I'm strong

The list goes on. A list of healing scars. I'm proud of me and you should be proud of you too.

#suicide #**** #sexualassault #age #growth #safe #depression #ptsd #life #trauma

Nikita Jul 2018

Old House

With you, I'm meant to feel safe

But when I see you
I see him

and I flinch

#abuse #ptsd #sorry #scared #love #sad #mine #confusion #past #see

Nikita Jul 2018

Tainted Glass

The mirror is just a broken lens
Broken
not by you, but by others
Causing more than
five years of bad luck

Without even touching the mirror

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is more common than people like to admit.

#bdd #looks #insecure #mirror #body #image #face #makeup #depression #suicide

Nikita Jul 2018

Memory

Why can't I remember?
I'm blocking it, why can't I just-

Who hur-

Where did it-

Why would they-

Sorry, what were we talking about?

I was told that my little sister and I were *****. I was 6, she was 3. I can't remember. It hurts. I have questions, but no answers, no justice.

#memory #depression #ptsd #remembering #abuse #suicide #poem #question #questions #how

Nikita Jul 2018

It's real.

Headaches
Come in all
Shapes
Sizes
Forms

Headaches
Come and
Go

They are tempory

Your pain
Is tempory too

We all have that voice that says we aren't sick, that we are acting. Mental illnesses are valid and they ******* us more than a broken leg ever could. With a broken leg we can't walk, but with a broken mind, crutches are harder to come by.

#depression #suicide #valid #accept #mentalhealth #illness #headache #pain #youllbeok

Nikita Jul 2018

I'm back babe

one
two
three years
but who's counting?

i'm here now and i'm not leaving

I haven't been active on this account for three years. All I've done is get worse and spiral into depression. I need this outlet more than ever and as I embrace my past, I should embrace the arts too.

#depression #mentalillness #mentalhealth #anxiety #selfhelp #positivity #suicide

Nikita Dec 2015

Sad irony

"What almost killed me never made me stronger at all"

#depressing #sad #hurt #realism #ugh #torn #letdown #stronger #killed #kellyclarkson