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mjad Oct 2018
I tell myself everyday I don't care about him at all
He's a thing of the past come and gone
But I heard a story and was enthralled the entire conversation long
I wasn't eavesdropping my friend just decided to share
I don't need to know his business and I tell myself I don't care
But his father is leaving and his ex has moved on
His mother is mad and his work nights are long
He had the chance to have *** but won't say with who
I doubt anyone besides me came close (and I was faking the ******* too)
He keeps pursuing a girl who rejected him once more
He cut off two of his friends now he is left with just four
I tell myself I don't care about his life,
But if you know anything...tell me more
mjad Oct 2018
You run around
Shouting catch me if you can
Sticking your tongue out
Catch yourself a nice ***
Don't like the way she dress tho
And shes a bad kisser
You'd rather hit and miss her
Speed off in a Caddy
She don't call you Daddy
Caught another she a real ***
Running round your mind tho
Punch her heart after ***
Save feelings for the next
Run and catch her if you can
I just can't say no
Catch me if you can tho
mjad Sep 2018
It's become a routine
Letting guys use me
I settle for below my league
Or so my friends tell me
From mental disabilities
To family issues
They still get me on my knees
I don't want to be the lock
I want to be the keys
Choosing which door I fit
Not letting them unlock me
mjad Aug 2018
Don't use ****
To get what I need
**** em up
**** me up
Dyslexia *****
Like I **** you off
On my best friends floor
Behind the bathroom door
While they're dead asleep
Our secret to keep
Turn off the TV
Making sure they can't see
You right on top of me
Fingertips trace along your sides
While you're meeting my insides
Get to know me even more
Can't hear our moans over their snore
I can barely keep my eyes open
Swim in me like I'm the ocean
Getting seasick everywave
A life I can't help but save
Swallowed like Jonah and the whale
Pause and we both exhale
Collapse in exhaustion
After our little excursion
Your heartbeat puts me to sleep
Your breathing is still deep
Didn't even need ****
To get a good night's sleep
mjad Aug 2018
Fun
Of all the fun Ive ever had
Almost all I've never told you
From beach days to movie nights
And pizza stops and wrestling fights
Almost all I've never told you
Car rides speeding at midnight
Walking on the frozen lake downtown
Scared that I'll fall through and drown
Waking up in his bed
To giving road head
All the fun I've had I've never told you
You never knew, never found out about
All the lies I hand fed you
Dozens and dozens of times I did what I liked
Instead of listening to you
And of all of those times of adventure and fun
I regret absolutely none
Except the fact I had to pretend I wasn't actually doing a single one
I'll tell them one day
Part 1 of 3
mjad Aug 2018
I can't let myself hurt you
I'm scared of more than friends
Whenever there's a good thing
It ends
mjad Aug 2018
In between a rock and a hard place she was stuck,
Literally she was crushed between a freeway divider and a semi truck.

Native American so her roots didn't connect her to heaven.
He was a self proclaimed athiest at the ripe age of seven.

A short belief in an afterlife as maybe a wolf or an eagle
seemed too childish so he gave up on it before he was legal.

Visiting a slab of shiny stone in between two pine trees;
The wrong one but he doesn't care he sits down waiting to freeze.

Smoking a joint forgetting the new one while trying to keep all of her.
Exposion to death at a young age has no real cure.

Step brothers have no sympathy saying it's time to growup,
Girlfriend doesn't know when to stop bringing it up.

The clouds float on by. . .
He wishes he could die.

Staring at a shiny engraved stone with tears to the brim,
Hating all that his short seventeen years have shown him.

His only desire at the moment to just see once more her face,
He was caught in between her rock and his minds hard place.
my exes mother died and I tried to express his struggles of depression...I can't do his emotions justice
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