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I'm not that girl who always fits in,
the girl who always seems to belong.

I'm not that girl who people look up too,
the girl that everyone loves.                

I'm not that girl who is pretty,
the girl who got all the luck.

I'm not that girl who boys want to date,
The girl with so much charm.

I'm not that girl and I never will be...
I'm just some girl that wants to be THAT girl
Age, couldn't ever wither her, her flamboyance
baffled and attracted, alternatively, a poetic thunder,
this phenomenal woman engaged life and death alike
so see her at this age, was a wonder, what a presence!
her lips proclaimed through red glow of lipstick, aloud
"Kiss me death, I'll give myself at the last breath"

Why do we hold life close to our chest, seeing her zest
if one asks her, her laughter would answer well to that puzzle,
all this passionate living is for the experience to share,
to surrender, before death that will take her through the dark hole
that connect the eons to the white hole at the other end.
Birth and death, doors to and from a stage, living an intoxicated dance.

They take her coffin, along the street, grief stricken , gone mute
dance, dance her voice instigates in silence, wildly they dance.
 May 2014 Jordan Cole
ZL
Crush Soda
 May 2014 Jordan Cole
ZL
I have crushes
because I am unable
to commit.
I can pick up affairs
and when I'm tired,
I quit.

I have crushes
because I am an obessessive
romancer.
I am infected with lust
which always spread
like cancer.

I have crushes
because I have yet
to fall in love
yet lucky enough
to have my heart
broke into two.

I could never love you wholly
this is why I 'crush' on you.
 May 2014 Jordan Cole
Paula Lee
I'm the only person I know
who can destroy everyone
I come into contact with

So don't love me!

With my best intentions
I manage to bring pain
to my friends and come
between them

Don't love me!

With tears of pain
and of sorrow I beg you

Don't love me!

I am unlovable

Don't love me!
Loving you was
the most
exquisite form
of self
destruction

but I did it
I did it anyway
I wanted to reach
and touch
the flame
to bite
the fruit
to see
to hurt
and I wanted you to fix it
 May 2014 Jordan Cole
first last
"So what does depression feel like"*

It feels like trying to run through the sand after you have just climbed out of the ocean.

Like trying desperately to hang on to the merry-go-round spinning out of control.

Like struggling to keep your head above water in a wave pool.

Like trying to climb up a steep slide and slipping down just as you almost reach the top.

Like gasping for air after you've had the wind knocked out of you.

Like having a crush on life knowing life will never like you back.

Do you understand now?
see saw seen
dance danced danced
speak spoke spoken
wait waited waited
come came ***
wait waited waited
hear heard heard
laugh laughed laughed
share shared shared
come came ***
speak spoke spoken
smile smiled smiled
waited waited waited
go went gone
Somewhere how it makes me so numb.
Is this a sign of being dumb.
Maybe, this is the tempting situation
Which razed my relations
Those days were sweet
With their warm breathe
A thirst for love in their eyes, looking at me.
As a kid eagerly waits for fruit from the tree
Somewhere how it makes me so numb
Is this a sign of being dumb
This empty soul needed to cry.
Which seems tough how hard i try.
Why i am senseless
Is this feeling is endless?
They were too kind
But understood my dark mind
Finally, everyone left me alone
With their deep unloved tone.
 May 2014 Jordan Cole
kylie
it was sunday night when you broke
the silence by asking me what i was
thinking about, and i admitted that
i was thinking about the rain before
leaning my cheek on my palm and
turning my head towards you, and
i asked you what you were thinking
about,

and it was quiet, and you unbuckled
your seatbelt and shifted your body
and admitted that you were thinking
about me, and when i leaned over the
console and placed my hands on your
neck; when you pressed your forehead
against mine without smiling; when we
just stared at each other and you silently
told me that maybe we really weren't
just friends,

i was thinking about you, too
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