Why do I fall out of love
after I've fallen in-
only to be heart broken
over and over again..?
Is this the end
because I don't want it to be
please tell me that I'm dreaming
..this is all just a  blurry  mess
and I won't be left behind again
if I'm left once more to wallow
I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it.

Empty house
yet noise
surrounds, me
funny how
the world
betrays me.

Please don't hate me
if I lose you
I'll go crazy
you're my everything
don't you know that?
how could you not..?
Everything we've shared
was it all in my thoughts?!

Well it looks like I'm back in Hell
trapped within the walls that they
say I should be call-ing my home
but no, this place isn't a home to me
no where with you can ever be.

Furiously caught up in you..
I see the sun rising from the East
and am notified that you're asleep
because you're on the other side of
the country, where the sun decides
to set each night; in the West
so you can't quite see the light yet
but I can and it taunts me because
it knows what I'm thinking-
I wish it wouldn't rise this morning
because if I can't see anything then
there's no way to be reminded of you
there's no light to shine through the
cracks and windows in my room to
wake me up and say:
"guess what.."
**No, just go away.

She stares at her keyboard
wondering what to write next
she has so many things that
need to be said;

I'm tired of hating myself
and aways searching for
people that will accept me
for everything that I am,

I love myself now and I'm glad.

That's all.

I miss the long talks
that usually went on
for paragraphs and
multiple days.

I miss you telling me
stories I thought I
wouldn't want to hear
but ended up longing for.

I miss your voice and the
way you took my heart
and somehow made it melt.

I miss you in general and
that makes me feel scared.

Now that you can see I am trapped
inside of my room that contains no
way out and has basically no space
inside it only contains me, myself
and I along with some personal be-
long-ings.

As well as my bed which has nothing
underneath it.. my room has no door,
no windows and for sure, no couture.

But water is somehow seeping inside
I have no where to run, I have no where
to hide.. I'd go under my bed but water
is now causing it to float

I'm standing on top of it and avoiding
this ocean of words..

d e p r e s s e d; s p e a r s; p r e s s
anxiety; axe tiny; a net..
suicidal; a lucid is; sail...

Why can I only think of anagrams for
some of the words that I see, I'm about
to drown.. the water is smothering me.