Jesus, your face
I ache to see that face.
I long to run into the World like a bullet
Shot fast and hot out of a cannon.
Burning to scream about your goodness,
to build cities and worlds on top of your Glory.
To climb mountains,
To conquer,
To vanquish...
But you don't care for any of that.
You just long for me keep looking at
**your face.

TVs didn't raise us.

You admitted the reason for all that appearance,
is because you feel you have nothing to give.

President Obama told America he's just an actor.

America could quit putting their faith, stock, and money into other people and calling them celebrities.

Anyone influential read my poetry.

My poetry made you realize you ARE that influential person reading my poetry.

Everyone got on the "I'm a spirit with a body" truth.

Everyone realized none of us know what we're doing and we're just making it up.

We all took the sticks out of our ***** and stopped judging one another so much.

We forced parents to actually be parents when they conceive.

George Orwell saw modern day America.

You started paying attention to the signs.
You listened to your intuition.
You directed your life by your moral compass....
**YOU WOKE UP.

My world and yours,

are not the same.

Not the same course,

not the same pain.

If I am lost too far in my world,

please stop me, I'll refrain.

My problems will never be hurled,

at you, or yours in vain.

Should we manage to intertwine our realities

in an unexpected way.

Promise we'll respect each other's Achilles,

and live a life so beautiful it's cliche.

I am not asking for the world,

or any other thing.

Just fists that go uncurled,

and an excess of love we both bring.

I am stuck.
Been reaching towards the world forever but they laugh, "What a schmuck."
How did we all end up here?
Staring in the mirror like it has answers, alone in my house of Dies Drear.
I got better, but then I got worse.
Fixating on things that mean nothing, "Why that dude drive a hearse?"
Why do I feel so rehearsed?
Why does this feel like the same verse?
Because I am not even my self when I am at my worst.

I keep praying for better answers,
Keep praying that I find someone else to fall in love with, bad track record with cancers.
I keep praying he'll actually call.
Ten days past and more and more I feel like I'm being waterboarded under a waterfall.
I have no reason at all,
As to why I should wait around, must be the impending scent of fall.

You keep calling me.
Into the deep I go.
Thank You, that I know how to swim.
But could You tell me please....
Where is it I will go?
There's no destination here.
No knowledge for me to know.
I wait on you...
I pray to hear.
But sometimes I do doubt what will grow.
You promise so sweetly, everything I hope for...I pray it is so.
You will never leave me.
That alone I can know.

I love to take in truth,
but act out lies.

I look for all sorts of proof,
but ignore the impending demise.

For someone in their youth,
I have a lot of worry lines.

Beating my head against you,
like a slightly saner Amanda Bynes.

You keep telling me I'm okay,
and maybe we are fine.

But there's something in the way,
I keep saying all my lines.

What is the reason for my dismay?
I believe it comes from a different time.

I keep praying you won't let me push you away.
But I've got a self-destructive rhyme.

Be this world, but a mad mad garden.
I am tilling, and planting with woe.
I eat occasionally, of its fruits
and when full, tenderly, I go.

Pardon-
my nature is of the child, and so
I pull this leaf, pluck these petals,
and stop to smell of the rose.

There is a chill in the air,
a cloud blocking light,
and an odor tickling thy nose.

Be it this time, or past, future
or fourth dimension; How can
I know?

There is no limit to my pondering,
no effort in this wandering,
enjoyable is the quest to know.

The sun beams softly here
I never worry for my pale skin, a cherished feeling- no fear.
I lounge in between your love and a guitar player,
Sip on scotch as I shed inhibitions in addition to that last clothing layer
You can find me dancing,
Fueled by your continuous glancing.
I am usually alone, but this feels right.
Flames color me desire, I have found my favorable light
Waves whisper poetry to my soul,
No one has heard of "logic", here I feel whole.
Rays kiss my cheeks as much as you do
I exist to ensnare you with my feminine voodoo
Light and dark are the only forces here
Time gave up trying to catch us, now it settles for watching us disappear.

What will you do?
When faced with the untrue?
That is dying to break you into two?
Living to make you something unglued?

What will you do?
Skip the record backwards a few?
Listen to the song until it is through?
Ignore the message though it finds you?

What will you do?
When you have exhausted your options?
When you have loved with your all, all too often?
When you have given all your chances?
Gave in to fear, and missed out on romances?

WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Is the only question with weight.
Sends you swinging right out of the gate.
Gives you control over thy fate.

So, please...don't wait.
What will you do?
Answer it....
before it is too late*.

I'm just discovering,
baby,
that's what I was made to do.
I'm never done learning,
even about...you.
But the waters keep churning,
I'm just floating through
observing
swerving
and turning
over and over
the things I go through.

I've got to keep at it, baby
For me
and
for you.
Maybe because I've been through so much crazy,
I'm always searching for something new.

Within us lives sadness.
To deny this fact, is beyond ignorant.
To reject any aspect of life, madness.
Yet we constantly send an internal "NO" signal towards the strange and unfamiliar, causing the mind to identify the truth as malignant.

While we run around this planet that is matter, composed of a shell made of mere matter, throwing our energy into things that don't matter
We lose.
And we're lost.
We are fighting an invisible war at what cost?

I have the choice to make every second heavenly,
Open eyes can only live intentionally.

If I focus on His love,
well that is more than enough.
But these moments I'm not fond of,
where I find out the right thing is really tough.

And I'm hurting more than I would care too.
But He loves me all the same.
And I'm wishing you were there too.
But He loves me just the same.

What more could I ask for?
A savior is always watching over me.
And when He gives I still want more.
How selfish can I be...

I loved you more once than I loved Him.
But He loves me just the same.
Even when I loved you less than the pain I was in.
He loved me all the same.

I can live with everything I've said,
can you?
Thought this would just make me upset,
Guess that parts true.
But that's the funny thing I noticed,
how about you?
The way I tell the truth like it's all I'm about to do.
Like everything I am working toward doesn't depend on you.
You're either with it or against, I guess that's not true...
If you really want you can be irrelevant, too.
Doesn't mean I won't always have love in my heart for you.

But, if I already burnt up all of my bridges
Guess it's a good thing my battle scars won't need stitches,
Cause it seems like I better know how to swim or convert
to being religious. But if I chose the latter would I be like you
judging all your decisions?

Okay.
Thought you heard the last of my beautiful words?
Call 'em what you want, I think that talk's for the birds.
I am just going to concentrate on puttin nouns with the verbs.
Concentrate on writing anything by which my soul is disturbed.

Lastly, I want this part to be the loudest verse heard.
Your words are nothing but words.
Your hate is tired and I've learned,
That I have nothing but love to give in return.

Am I happy?
I couldn't do this on my own
Am I happy
Still walking alone
Do the days drag on
Do I wish them gone
Do I mourn those I have not met
Am I waiting to forget
It won't be cured by leaving
It won't be cured by staying
If you find my words deceiving
All I'm really saying
Is I need more than what I'm after
I need You to fill my soul
There is no happily ever after
Unless You, I behold.

I finally know what they mean
about falling in love,
it's not what it may seem,
to be in love with the
One up above.

He fills
my every seam
and crack.
Every hurt and sore.
He gives me all of that,
and so much more!

Once again I fear,
I am only here
to steer
the sheep
into lamb.

What a nice plan!

Yet, lonely indeed...
A heart so full of love
can still bleed.
While you all fill each other's needs
I am alone, trying to get you to believe.

Trapped in between the desert and my home
I revel wandering in the waste land,
Gazing at the stars, teasing the sand between my fingers
With no distractions, its easiest to get lost in the sky

I've observed my own behavior
The lyrics highly predictable
If I can't pursue the desert I should just stay with the familiar
I can't touch you yet so the home will feel it all

If only mortality hadn't doomed us from the start
I'd give every last inch...
So I'll run the other direction
Colder than ice caps, vicious like wolves

The only fool is the one who chased something they already lost once
No regard for others, feelings fully upon the sleeves
Its hard to do that with permanent marks
I swear no other will ever know that side of my heart.

If there was a favorite button of yours, it'd be ignore.
The letters would be smudged and slightly worn,
it would probably read with a vague "I" and a less visible "ore".
You used to read it all the time, what'd you quit that for?
Does this lapsed habit read into something more?
Should I be worried, furious, nonchalant?...I'm torn.
Guess I should think about that less
and write **more.

There's a reason your love stories are broken.
And the one you long for will not return.
There is a reason you ache within your heart,
that there's something for which your soul yearns.
There is a reason you won't expect it,
it is bigger than we can understand.
There is a reason you are in the state you're in
even if it was not part of God's great plan.
The pain you feel within is Eternal,
because you've been where you shouldn't have been.
It doesn't mean your life is over,
it just means you need to move your feet out of what
you are currently standing in.
There is a plan for all your heartbreak, your loss,
and even your sin.
Believe me, or don't. But if you're curious, I'll tell you
about where I was once,
before I let God in.

What am I to do?
Insanity feels like
my mind
always landing
back on you.

All we have is now,
so what is now
without you?

I'm afraid to find out
lengths I might go to,
fires I walk through
Only for you.

Just to see you smile,
to make the sun shine
for some while.
Man, oh man...
what is it that you do?

You break barriers
into two
And out comes
heaven
guised
as humanity,
Completely new.
You redefine time,
Meaning the rhyme
Of this world
I thought
I knew
is through.

The world could never hope to burn out this flame,
A passion, your love.
You won for me.
You know my name.

We're on the other side.
With blessing and permission
We begin each stride.
Someone should paint you in your beauty.
Other than me painting portraits in my mind.
You are so achingly beautiful,
every time I remember you I cry.
And I think about things I shouldn't,
like children and being a wife.
And I long that you would approve it,
anywhere and anytime.
I pray that God Himself could do it,
but we'll only see evidence in His time.
I will just keep loving you through this,
every time you're in or out
of the sight of my eyes.