Green and black checkered blankets
lie across plastic funeral chairs
atop tired, lime colored carpets.
An inatimate audience garishly
posed before a square foot of
precisely dug, freshly cut earth.
Someone hands me an olive tone box.
Sunlight plays off of the glossy marble.
His urn is heavy and cold to the touch.
Beside me a voice recites a prayer,
unsteady and choking on tears, as I gaze
emptily into the shadows of a nearby Oak.
Peacock feathers and rose petals
fall from shaky, sorrowful hands.
A teddy bear, an angel charm, five links
of grandma's rosary, a tiny wooden cross...
An offering of remembrance to join
him in his internment, moments of
meaning only to those who are left behind.
Sounds become soft, colors dull, time slows.
The Angel of Hope resides over the hillside,
a quiet, unwavering eye who guards
the souls of our tragically met youths.
Space and relativity become foreign,
as reality befalls my unprepped mind.

So tired of feeling helpless,
So tired of feeling low,
With a past this dark and loveless,
It's the only way I know.
I've been bent
And I've been broken.
Fell from the rooftop
To the floor.
Now I'm restless,
But I'm hopeful,
Tho sorrows stirring in my soul.
As I tumble through my darkness
Crying softly to myself,
I only wish
that you could hold me,
I think your love
may break the spell.

Another whisper in her ear.
Another promise of adoration,
Of unparalleled affection.
She trades a soft touch for a soft bed,
A discreet kiss on a strangers head.
Half hearted loving is the worst kind.
Two lost souls, finding comfort
In one another's pale embrace.
Neither brave enough to face
The impending end around the bend
That lies within this empty space.

Many minds
Have lived
Through time,
And dreamt of
Other Worlds...
And that,
My Son,
Is how many galaxies
There are
In
  the
      Universe.

We are all merely farts
   On the Great Wind...

Through having nothing,
I stand to gain
Everything.
Which I intend
to be
an awareness
and a
mastery of
My Own Soul.
This requires a level of
honesty
That I have been,
thus far,
unable to share
with my own ego.
So there will be a shedding
of skins...
But if I am Only
moved
by and through
my heart,
Then what is supposed to
remain will remain.
What is supposed to occur
will occur.
And what is supposed to
ebb will ebb.

Sleep with Moon,
   Dance with the Stars,
        Rise with the Sun...
                   :)

I stand on the beach,
toes dug deep into the sand.
The skyline turns fuschia...
Then neon bubblegum,
Then fades to blush pink...
The bones of our past
Gather on the shore
Like stones on a riverbed.
I cry.
The wind replies.
She says, "Dream."
"Sleep with moon,
Dance with the stars,
Rise with the Sun."
I hold my breath
and lose consciousness.
Your voice guides me
through my darkness.
I wait.
The Universe replies.
He says,"Be quiet."
"I will provide."
I sigh.
And all is well with the World.

I watch the cottonwood
seeds
gather on the
wildflowers and
the weeds.
The trail looks a gentle
snowfall
  of dust,
Like the back corner
of grandmother's attic...
Blanketed in mystery
and
  well worn with
                   the years.
White sand and flakes of
pyrite
  glitter on the
  water's edge,
Dancing
with the rythym of the  
  waves...
A hummingbird
chases a dragonfly
into a tangerine sunset.
A hawk circles the road looking
for a wayward mouse.
I cry a silent prayer.
And can
   only
think of you,
My Angel.
And
    the
       wind
            cries
                 too...
Singing her
sorrowful song
Only for you,
My Angel,
Only for you...

I'll just never
understand
why he wasn't
important
  enough to you  
to try and save him...
The same question
could also be posed
  to you,
concerning your Self... Your own inner and outer health...
wealth...  
discipline...
As above so below.
As within so without.
All of life is a mirror.
Our experiences are
A Mirror.

An Oriental doll      
   In front of            
A  Wild West painting              
       in my    
Mother's house...  
East meets West.    
Polar Opposites.  
  Together.    
   Just        
    Trying to            
     Tell            
      Their        
       Story...

The silence without you...
   Is SO loud.

If this doesn't change you,
In some Earth-shattering    
                             way,
Well...
Then I don't think we're
  in the same story, friend.

  I've been doing lots of  *
          crying lately.
  This kind of thing appears
        to come in waves.
   Perhaps that's the minds
way of preserving it's own
          ?sanity?      
It's my suspicion that time
    will only open up new
  dimensions of heartache,  
         long before
        we ever feel
     the effects of it's
      healing processes
       * Ω .Time. θ *
  That's one of the worst
          ...parts...
All the things that he never
   *    ...got to do...    

I am but
           A sheep
Who can sport the wolf's
           Clothes.
        Here I stand,
      Called to battle,
    With a heart made
           Of gold.

A piece of the sky fell
And I was just lucky
enough
To catch it in my hands.
If only for a moment...
A moment that I will cherish,
Forever,
Six months of your love
I shall guard as close as treasure.
There is no measure
For just how deeply,
Or how completely,
You.
Are.
Missed.
A piece of the sky fell.
And the rain came.
And our tears fell.
And the blame came.
And our hearts fell.
And the world became
Coloured by pain.
A piece of the sky fell
And I was
just lucky enough
To hold it in my arms...
... I named him Tyson.

Spiders creep along
Dew drop laden webbing
Dark and brooding
Quiet observers
Eight gangly arms of death
Aphids gather
On a rosebud
Sprite green and coral pink
Like freckles
On a fresh and vivid bloom
Lady bugs flutter
Abiding in tall grasses
Proclaiming hope
Promising growth
Like a
WildFlower
growing from a
tomb...

The little white clouds are racing over the sky,
And the fields are strewn with the gold of the flower of March,
The daffodil breaks under foot, and the tasselled larch
Sways and swings as the thrush goes hurrying by.

A delicate odour is borne on the wings of the morning breeze,
The odour of deep wet grass, and of brown new-furrowed earth,
The birds are singing for joy of the Spring’s glad birth,
Hopping from branch to branch on the rocking trees.

And all the woods are alive with the murmur and sound of Spring,
And the rose-bud breaks into pink on the climbing briar,
And the crocus-bed is a quivering moon of fire
Girdled round with the belt of an amethyst ring.

And the plane to the pine-tree is whispering some tale of love
Till it rustles with laughter and tosses its mantle of green,
And the gloom of the wych-elm’s hollow is lit with the iris sheen
Of the burnished rainbow throat and the silver breast of a dove.

See! the lark starts up from his bed in the meadow there,
Breaking the gossamer threads and the nets of dew,
And flashing adown the river, a flame of blue!
The kingfisher flies like an arrow, and wounds the air.

You can't rock this,
boat
cause I'm a cold piece...

Take a look in these eyes,
You dont know me!

What the Hell
You think you'll show me?

I was running this game,
Fought through the drama and pain,
Moved out at fourteen.

These streets don't promise me peace
Just whisper lies and defeat,
Punk people pushing their beef...
Caught up,
addicted to greed,
This bad wolf's
All that we feed.

But purpose powers my mind,
Cleared out them devils inside,

They'll never own me!
So many lessons on Hell
This cold world's
thrown me.

I pray that God hears my cries

Feels like my soul might just die,

My heart, she weeps
with my eyes...
No colors gracing my skies,

As if the sun just
won't rise,
Like earth's been drained
of her life.

But then God gave my reply,
He
I'm stuck on saving some lives,
Can't keep on wasting my
time....

Should be out sharing
my shine!
You share a big love,
like mine?

Lets puts more blooms on this vine...

While peace and beauty
Lay root,
Thier fragrant petals
unwind.

We've been too mindless and mean
It's time to Feel
 'fore we think

And know that            Hope holds the key

        To happy hearts,
           healthy beings.

We got this!
Trust and believe...
Our Faith is all that we need.

I've had my entire being challenged by the fires of life.
And though I have emerged, I have been forever changed.
There were things I didnt understand about you,
or appreciate enough about you.
But I can now.
And I love you more than anyone else in the world.
Not just the love of lust or adoration,
but truly, deeply and complexly.
The kind that has been obtained through pleasure, and pain.
On pins and needles
My heart yearns for your return.

Dragon-eyed
And dog-tired
I crawl across
These
Broken shards of rainbow colored glass
The tranquil morbidity
Of the montage Of
My
Grief
Is both daunting
And
Divine
The web of veins
That fills the space
Between your heart
And
Mine

Here I spin
Upon a wire
Strip my flesh
And stoke the fire
Bent so low
My soul breaks higher
Of empty hearts
and words
I tire :'(

Tomorrow unfolds like a spring-born flower into a bright spectacle…

Today’s showers, no matter how uncomfortable, are necessary…

Yesterday is buried along with last season’s splendor, enriching the soil.

I've decided that God must need to send his brightest lights out into the darkest of nights...
Because that's where they are needed most.

I will try and keep this notion in my heart the next time I find myself stumbling through the shadows,
Wondering what I could have done to be this cursed.

Only the sweetest souls get called home to hold court with the seraphim in the Heavenly realm of the Gods

The purity and joy of their etheral songs resounding throughout the castle halls

Beautiful, bright eyed babies fluttering unsteadily amongst the green gardens on golden gossamer wings

Giggles and grins of sheer wonder erupt as the silvery, sunlit wings of the dragonflies dart playfully away from chubby little outstretched hands

Rainbow feathered robins nestle among the willows while  hummingbirds traverse the towering lillies, stirring up the fullness of their delicate perfume

The gentle eyes of our grandmother's watch over of us as they tend to our little ones, their glittering irises shining brighter than the stars from whence they came

My tears fall like rain as I search the sky for your shimmer, a fleeting glimpse of your emerald green soul at the edge of this rosy pink horizon

I see your colors play on the surface of the water, a kaleidoscope of light dancing on the crystal currents of this great river we call life

One day I too will be but a drop of water returned unto the ocean, after my inevitable fall from the clouded, unknown skies of grace

One day I too will have earned my set of wings, and into your waiting arms I am free to finally fly, free again to shower your fuzzy little forehead with a hundred thousand kissies...

Until we meet again...
I love you with every beat of my broken heart, my omnipresent little Angel

My precious tiny baby man,
Mine Grumble Grumble,

There are no words to even express how much I truly miss you

My little Squishee Squishee Squish <3

Come away oh human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping
  than you can understand.

I watch the blade pierce my skin, yet I feel nothing

Pearls of blood gather in the seams of the wound

An errant thumb smears across the coppery beads of life

Staining the subtle, spidered paths of my palms

I lack the courage to push deeper

I try not to curse the steel as I feel my hand shaking

A crooked "T" forms out of the scar tissue

An odd accompaniment to the fading india ink smiley face I so proudly engraved at 12

The angry pink flesh of my grief cries out for recognition

With a pasty blue grin, the naivety of my youth only mocks this unspeakable pain

Tears fall quietly down my face as I prepare for another wave of pretending...

Another wave of forgetting
   Of regretting...
      Of blood letting.

To lose a child is like being declared legally dead while you're still on life support.
Your chest rises and falls.
Your blood moves, your heart beats.
But you've grown cold within.
Your body is empty.
Your spirit is gone.
I once believed that a pulse was some unspoken, undeniable proof of life.
But it isn't a guarantee of anything.
Believe me. I have seen it for myself.
And it ******* killed me.
Now my chest keeps rising,
blood moving,
heart beating,
soul bleeding,
mind screaming...
Yet no one seems to notice that I am dead too.

I know you said to try and not make any more points... But I can't just sit idly by while excellent points are ignored and disregarded in favor of illusions.

You can either choose to embrace and admire my intellect... Or you can attempt to belittle and censor it. The way my mind works is a little different than most, and that shouldn't be a threat to you. It should be an asset.

I'm sure I can be frustrating to deal with because I have yet to tame my ego and temper entirely, but those flaws have been brought to my attention.

I'm only 28, so I am fairly confident that there's still hope for a full recovery. It took you until you were 40 to make any real corrections in your behavior.

I was there with you from 29 until the present time... So I would find it a bit ironic if you expected perfection from me at 28.

Especially when I feel like I'm leaps and bounds ahead of most people my age, or even your age, when it comes to being self aware, open hearted and willing to change.

All I need is love and affection. I've been bullied and rejected and ignored by both of my parents. The only way I know how to react is by assuming that their mistreatment is justified... And to accept it with a sorrowful, silent dignity.

Its not a far cry from my own fears about myself anyhow. I've always been the awkward misfit daughter of a slovenly, ignorant nutcase. If that's enough to make me question my own value and self worth.

It doesn't take much for someone that I trust to convince me that I don't have any anyhow.

What I need from a relationship is someone who understands those things, and is willing to extend their affections to me unconditionally.

If that's too much for you, then I understand. Its hard to show love when you've never been taught it. Believe me, I know.

But I also know that honesty, sincerity and a compassionate heart can solve all of life's issues. 

As long as I resonate with that truth, I know that the Universe must respond to it.

A love as intense as mine; A spirit as genuinely captivated by wonder; Inspired by nature and comforted by our inherent divinity...

Cannot... Nay, WILL NOT be left wanting. Of that I'm sure.

I hope you can put down your defenses long enough to see that we are on the same team.

Pride is a silly thing to cling to when there are broken hearts and unmentionable sufferings to address in our own lives and families.

What does a man gain from the glorified conquests of his ego if, in the end, he is to suffer the loss of his own soul?

I love you. That's all I can say. Although I will probably never send you a copy of this letter... I somehow feel better nonetheless. I wish you could hold me one last time.

My glass was once half empty.
My glass was once half full.
My glass slipped off and shattered.
Now it's all one great big pool.

Black carbon soot
Yellow, blue flames
Like a thief, the night took
Our fair sunlight away
Green etheral gases
Red burning star
Like a dog, the earth shook
Spewing fire and tar
Pink pedaled roses
White fallen snow
Like an axe, striking wood
Our minds reel from the blow
Lavendar mists
Gray cloudy seas
Like an angel, forsaken
We’ll be brought to our knees.

In my mind, as infinite as the heavens,
I am but a starry eyed stranger

Wandering through her shimmering realms
Beneath an ebony sky, laced with crimson,
Beclouded with spiraling sprays of stardust

A child, a warrior, a saint full of sin,
I pass through the vapour of my shadowselves

Layers falling away like rotten tree bark
Exposing the rings within, like fingerprints,
Looping coils of time, bending but unbroken

Somewhere in the distance a dragonfly dances on the surface of the water,
Unknowingly admired by a sharp toothed Chinook

As another lost soul pulls back on a well worn syringe,
Seated on a broken toilet, slowly leaking across the scarred, yellow linoleum.

While a mother in Africa nurses a starving baby from her malnourished breast,
A stomach ravaged by dysentery,
Lips cracked and bleeding beneath the relentless heat of the sun,

And a pimple faced pop star sips champagne from a crystal goblet,
Wearing eight hundred dollar sunglasses and basking on a beach in Barbados,

Where they will spend more on hotels and liquor for a week than most families will earn in wages all year.

I close my eyes to imagine a world where only dragonflies sip champagne,

and people ACTUALLY care about one another.

But the former seems more likely than the latter...
So I return to my inner sanctuary of dreams...
And once again, I am infinite.

For Tyson, My Love

Never will I meet another like you
Your light shone brighter than the Sun.
Your coo was as beautiful as a robin's song
carried on the wind.
Your smile was unfathomably contagious.
The way you would cut your eyes
and smile so knowingly...
As if you held a secret
Just between you and me...
and when you smiled,
I felt I knew it too.
There will never be an answer.
No reason could ever be sufficient.
You came here as an Angel,
and as an Angel you did leave us.
I am honored to have known you
For even a short while.
You may have only been a baby
But your spirit felt 100 years old...
And although your time here seemed limited,
the imprint you left is infinite.
You are ageless.
You are the embodiment of love.
You are my Guardian.
My Angel Elite.
My watchtower.
My lighthouse.
My baby. Forever.
Mine Grumble Grumble
Mine Squishee Man.
Mine Love.
Until my last breathe.
And even after...

Words catch in my throat.
A thousand fears chew at my fingertips.
Terror... Valour.... Loneliness.
It all amounts to shadows on the river.
Lights play over living currents,
Her fluid movement
Shifts the gleam across the waves.
Courage is a trembling lip,
A denial of self,
A strangulation of excess emotion;
Amidst temptation...
Amidst the tempest...
Amidst self doubt.
Somewhere the steel of your jaw
becomes more than a daydream.
Morphine can't even ease this pain.
I lose my breathe.
I wait for death.
And yet, somehow, I wake again.

I laugh at myself
How was I so naive?
To fool my own body
Just so it would breathe...
Now it thinks I'm alive
And yet, how could that be...
When my soul surely died
Whence it knew you'd left me

Drugs are the cure for reality
  An escape from your problems and pain
    But in excess, too much of a good thing
       Will still leave you unkempt and insane

I’ve been searching for my salvation
In the bottom of a wine stained glass.
The pungent aroma of cheap merlot
Burrowing deep into my senses,
A sickly reminder of all the bitter tasting
memories
that I have yet to drown...
I sought my redemption from a walking corpse,
with a face like a rotted pumpkin,
sunken and scarred,
peddling his tiny bags of crystalline poison,
I carefully dropped the glittering shards of self hatred in the pipe
and watch with a desperate enthusiasm,
as the toxic pool bubbles
the glass blackening with the heat of the flame,
I greedily forced the murderous ribbons of smoke
deep down into my aching lungs...
As the chemicals saturate my bloodstream,
I embraced the familiar insanity...
Consumed by the depths
of such of falsely intense feelings....
The inspiration, wonder,
The exaggerated awareness....
As the roller coaster begins to crest the first incline,
I captured one fleeting moment of self acceptance....
But like any mind numbing and glorious high,
a soul numbing and inglorious low is certain to swiftly follow.
That’s when the sun decides to die,
and there is only one continuous night.
As cold and black and breathless as the farthest reach of space.
There, in my own personal darkness, I float about so lifelessly.
The sounds of forgotten laughter and the cry of my own soul
become a haunting chorus,
serenading me into my loneliest hour.
I mourn for the wasted time that I must surrender
to the unforgiving and bottomless well of earth’s collective past.
Every harsh word,
or loving word left unexpressed,
becomes a suture in the tender flesh of my heart.
Both  grief and guilt react like acid doused upon my self esteem,
convincing me of my worthlessness
and destroying the delicate flesh of my being.
I feel as if nobody truly knows me, understands me,
Or even cares.
I have only my addictions to comfort me, as they slowly eat my soul.
I yearn to fade away like the burning colors of a sunset,
Each brilliant shade growing darker and darker,
Then turning completely black, as we melt into the skyline
and become eternal and inseparable among the distant sea of stars.
My spring of hope finally dried out in the heat of my scathing emotional trials  
I am empty, lost, and spent.
Only God can renew me now.
I cry out to Him, I scream in anguish from the mountain top,
but my meager voice is but a pebble
cast into the mighty sea...
Swallowed up and carried away by the waves of raging wind.
I plead with Him in the night,
beneath a tear soaked bed sheet,
but the soft murmur of my own weeping is my only reply.
So I sing to Him,
and praise Him with the church’s congregation,
and He answers...
In the kindness of their voices,
the compassion in their eyes,
In the presence of their thankfulness and their honor for Him,
In the company of their steadfast faith in his power and righteousness
I am washed in his gentle, calming spirit.
Here, in the loving arms of his dedicated followers,
I am shone the true miracle of Jesus’ death,
The true gift of his life and his teachings:
The ability to live an honorable and harmonious life
full of joy and contentment.
The possibility of a man,
NO MATTER how ignorant or rebellious,
To completely tear down the old self,
To foster the rebirth
Of a new and more perfect self...
Through the awareness
of the unseen cord
that binds every human heart to another...
By respecting that we all have a predisposition for fear,
jealousy, anger, and pain,
and by knowing that we also have
an even greater capacity for love
and lasting achievement
Then we could have ever imagined...
And we must cultivate in this in ourselves
As well as our fellow man.
We truly ARE out brothers keeper.
And WE are our own condemnation,
Our OWN salvation...
The decision is ours to make.
Choose wisely...

Emotions tangle inside me
Like a twisting patch of briars,
I draw blood on the thorns
And search for you in the thicket,
But I cannot hear your voice.
I feel your body calling
Yet I cannot find the source.
From somewhere at my back
I can feel the eyes undress me,
I stand naked in the shadows
While their hungry minds assess me.
They have always come for me,
Though few are brave enough to stay.
I stand alone among the rains,
And the demi-gods, they prey,
Yet I am somehow unafraid
As every darkness leads to dawn,
Yes, every night must turn to day.
And so I only dream of you,
I trust you'll find me here again.

I thought that perhaps he was an angel,
It seemed like he could read my thoughts...
I know now, that he was just a weary traveller,
An imposter among us,
Pretending that the curve of his back
was where he had once carried wings...
I see now that it is merely bent
from the weight of his conscience,
The weight of his burdens,
The weight of his own convictions...
If he had truly heard my thoughts
He never would have left me like this.
Cold and broken and alone...
My own back bends
with the weight of realization...
Yes. You can love someone with
your whole heart...
And yet they never hear a peep,
even when you're crying out their name
into the night, into the darkness...
And all that returns
Is the soft echo of your own whimpering...
But at least it has strengthened my spine,
And I am ready now
to reclaim my own wings...
I will always keep a soft place
in my heart, for only him...
I pray that he feels my gentle kiss
on his brow, some lonely night
when I am brave enough to take flight,
enter his dreams, and face the pain
he carried all these years in vain.
For now, I leave it in the hands of
fate. The Sun Dance continues...
As I prepare to fly.

Otherwise things continue
in bright yellow rounds.
The road tears at my throat,
I cannot see it's path,
tar-eyed I stumble,
fall, cry out,
mute and stillborn.

This is how it should be,
circles, rounds, crocus, wild,
geese south, frozen ******
ponds. Yet I am the infitnite

whirlwind at the center.
and the giant at the edge
of the universe. Still
I call, cry out: blind.

Otherwise I would leap high
hurling myself past moons
to become star: brilliant,
pulsating. The road tears at throat
yet things continue, as I revolve the orb.

Nicotine soaked bedsheets
Damply caressed by sweat, by tears
Sooty black fingerprints,
Like carbon coated breadcrumbs
They leave a trail of sorrow...
Resin coated bobby pins
Cut straws and crystal dusted mirrors
Nails gnawed down to the quick
Bloodshot eyes, cracked lips
Tired thoughts,
    Hopes tossed,
        Dreams shattered,
              The
                    pieces
                           Lost.

Time is like a river
Endlessly flowing
a relentless current
draws us ever closer
to the unknown sea
As effortless as diamonds
scoring glass,
the flow of it etches
an age old story,
Through layers of Earth,
Through the bedrock of human existence
The landscape laid before us
The ley lines of fate
Long drawn...
THe ancient song
Calls them into being,
Shifting and changing them beneath its will
New pathways formed
Emerging from an unsuspecting  force
We are captured in its fluid surface,
... Where life's thin reflections dance like ghosts.
The hypnotic, tireless pulsing
of its Rhythmic beat
Polishes even the most rugged stones
A crystal garden sparkles in the moonlight
Beneath those deep and troubled waters,
her lucid channels glisten in
the reflection of mother Moon...
The Sun's beloved mirror,
Softly whispering to the waiting tides
She smiles down gently on the rippling waters below
So full,
Wide-eyed and gracious,
She keeps watch over the river of time...
And we, too, are in her favor,
For it is her soft light
Reaching out to us
Illuminating the spark in our hearts
While we trudge the wary, winding road
On this dark night of our soul

Turned my headphones up so loud
I can't even hear the disapproval in your voice...
You are barely a breathe,
Merely a whisper of inconvenience,
Playing in the background of the soundtrack to my life...
Let Eddie Vedor have my attention...
He cares.
I know...
because all of his songs are about me too...
Why does it feel like strangers in the air waves have a deeper sense of me than you do?
Is it that you just don't care?
Or perhaps, I'm not your type?
I didn't know it was so easy to abandon those you love...
This society is crumbling.
We have no true concern for our brother.
Our greatest concern lies with the state of our pride,
Of our pocketbooks...
Of our swollen genitalia...
Feelings are causualties
to the almighty throne of the ego.
Worship him! Bow down in his greatness!
Lest he remember...
For only a moment...
That the cosmos turn in delicate rotation for only One.
The light. The Sun. The great spark that feeds
and heats
and sustains ALL life on earth...
All life in our galaxy...
So sorry, little green envious men of ego...
You are but a drop of water rocking on a wave
in a vast and unfathomable sea.
But each drop has to work together...
Or else the purest, sweetest drops will silently
drift
into the dark abyss below...
Never knowing how beautiful it would have been to be released by a noonday shower
Somewhere just south of Madrid
And coming to rest
On the gentle leaves in a vineyard...
A glistening dew drop
Sun kissed
and warming on the vine.

His body grounds me...
I was an alternating current
with a frayed wire
Sputtering... sparking...
Misfiring...
Alone and flickering in quiet desperation...
Then he drew me in with his hands
Held me tightly, pulling me close...
Inviting me into his Center
Insulating my circuits from the heat of their own charge,
Reigniting those cold, dead connections...
Redirecting, realigning
Aeons of my dissipated energies.
I become more, now, than some
Reckless, erratic sunburst...
Snapping and flaring on the mere surface of things...
A loving so strong it makes me re-enter the belly of the beast,
He and I, we become the pulse...
Folding ourselves into the warm, primitive heart of God...
Selflessness... Sacrifice...
Joy, Radiance... Gratitude...
I find all these things here.
And everything false just quietly disappears.

Tetragrams and anagrams
Pseudonyms and sleight-of-hands
Betwixt the lines lie crooked spines
Textured, gestured, shamed and shrined
Functions, Factions, fabled fiction
Starred and Crossed, they're scored and stitched in
Faeries, furies, funded theories
Quantum physics, quarks and queries
Embers bright, a red clad knight
Winged cats with cubic heights
Flux your lux, set down your labels
Time entwines both swine and angels
Mumbled murmurs, lazy learners
Beacons, bosons, carbon burners
Codecs keyed for hertz and bytes
Ancient tones 'n pheremonones
Reflect,
     Refract,
         Retract...
             Ignite.
Our shadow selves toll ghostly bells
Building walls, erecting shelves
Saviours, slaves, enchanted knaves,
'Tis man, himself, 'creates these Hells...

Oh sweet, beloved Mercury
Where lucid liquid logic's rise
Who's silver molten vapoured sphere
Doth surge and crackle
fractaled lights.
Her breath ignites, excites, entice
The fevered frantic frightful men
With clustered cluttered clouded  thoughts
Where rabitts, worms and loop-holes blend.
An etheral itch commands her call
Crawling 'cross the rainbowed wires
Wordly winding  waves of mind
Embed upon her violet spiral.