there are
no clouds
in the blue sky,
yet it's still flawed.

there is
make up on
your beautiful face,
yet you're still *flawed.

At times I feel like I'm dreaming
yet I face reality.
That thought that makes you question:
am I really here, did I make it so fast?
I see my life unfolding before my eyes
I see friends I once knew become strangers,
someone I once couldn't do without talking to for 2 seconds,
I  don't even glimpse at anymore.
As I grew my past seems to have gone so quickly
and I seem to be living a dream,
it may not be all I asked for but it's more than I ever wanted.
Be it not perfect but I love it.
Still I stand and wonder, was that really me
or do my eyes betray me?
My ongoing reality that I love,
yet I know will one day come to an end;
then I'll look back and say that my life went too fast.
Then I'll say that my life is still yet a dream.

As night falls, the moon calls.
The cool wind blows across the lands.
Yet, here I still stand.
The flames of our love have long since burned.
And my heart misses your touch, I have now learned.
I gaze at that spot where you once stood.
Loving someone else, I never could.
But you never did know my love for you.
I wish I'd told you before you flew.
Off into the night, to begin a new life.
Yet, here I still stand,
My heart filled with strife.
In my dreams you return to this place.
And without words, I close that space, between us.
Maybe you felt the same about me,
The sadness i your eyes is easy to see.
But no tears ever spilled from those eyes.
Not till we said our last goodbyes.
Yet, here I still stand,
My tongue tied.
Wishing to take back all those lies.
That I told about my love for you.
Now I can't deny, it's purely true.
The piercing wind, covers the sound of your foot falls.
As I stand here unknowingly, not hearing your calls.
You put your lips to my ear.
And tell me I have nothing to fear.
Our lips were made for eachother.
It's like we were forever lovers.
Our hands clasped never to release.
You have put my mind at peace.
But this all seems too good to be true,
And then I awake, without you,
My hand is empty and alone,
My love has been shown.
Yet, here, I still stand.
My love bundled up in my chest.
Never, to rest.

As empty as you feel when your headphones are on
and no music is playing.
As full  as a heart can be,
full enough to hear its beating like the noice a traffic  light makes,
while you are waiting for it to switch from red to green.
As full as lungs filled with air but still...
you feel like you are not able to breathe.


Longing to pour it all out,
to shout it out loud until your throat hurts
like it does after singing that one song at a karaoke bar.

But your lips remain sealed
and words stuck between thoughts.
Thoughts so loud,
you can't even remember the sound of your voice anymore.

As hopeless as the thick air on that 1st January morining
when you walk down the empty streets,
knowing this isn't a new beginning.
As quiet as the big city life seems
when you are lying ****** on the ground
with the right people around.

As painful as not being able to tell
if you are made out of atoms
or just a concept.
As surreal as feeling alive.

I could be more like milk and honey,
but I'm somewhere between nothing and affection
just like water and oil.

Everything i reach out for,
everything i touch,
becomes water and oil.
Mixed up,
but yet still separate.
Never one.
Not even when you get as close,
as two people can be in this world.
When you are burning holes on each-others
skins and souls.

As messy as hair after world-crashing ***.
As complicated as the ability to understand that emotions
are artificial paradises.
As strong as your longing to puke your brain out.

As hard as not being able to...

someday you'll know
the one who always feeling low
someday you'll find
the one who always thinking if you're kind
someday you'll see
the one who always loving you in a quiet way without caring about the pain that she feels for years, and she's me

[muh-lif-loo-uh s]
sweetly or smoothly flowing; sweet-sounding:

'You are mellifluous.'