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A life is all about a thought,
A thought about the win before you start,
A start or a loss without the start?
Without the start it seems a mighty struggle,
Struggle that delivers you pain,
Pain that hurts and haunts you daily,
Daily haunted by the pain, until someday tolerance takes over
Tolerance takes over and you make it a way of living,
A way of living then meets your plan,
Plan you planned to build your masterpiece,
Your masterpiece that once was your dream,
Your dream that once was given a thought,
A thought you thought was hard enough,
Hard enough to make it a choice,
A choice you worked out in this life,
This life thus, is just that thought.
That thought
'Whether to start or not'!
how long does it take for two people to get attached to each other?

how long does it take for two people to know that they are in love?

how long does it take for two people to build up the courage to say that they love them?

a month.

it only takes a month;
for us to know about each other,
for us to see if we could work,
and for us to finally decide if we want something more than friends.
2am
The world is not yet awake.
I can hear my own heart throb in my chest.
I can hear air rush in and out of my lungs.
At 2am I can clear my head of everything that consumes it,
And remember to breathe,
And enjoy being alive,
At 2am.
 May 2017 fustypetals
Terra
Tonight I am color blind, and nothing tastes right. The room is like I left it last, it's dark, but still too bright.
Lots of strange items in a pile on the floor. Some dust and a beer bottle next to the door.

Out my little window, darkness there, still. The wind is slowly humming, I am cold and feeling ill.
Another tired sigaret, my eyes are turning red. Too late by far, yet I am far from my bed.

The room seems bigger now, a mile from side to side. I am dreaming already, but have yet to close my eyes.
Pretty little objects by the window in a row. Oh, no I'm not depressed, my friend. On the contrary, I'm in love.
Well, didn't really think I was going to miss this weird this much, so I went there. I even paint strange abstract paintings while watching semi romantic sit coms. So sue me, I've become the cliche I used to giggle at.
 May 2017 fustypetals
cheryl love
Which way?
I have no idea.
Where are the options?
There are none.
Well I will carry on.
No good moaning
nothing left for groaning
Just turn left
it is the nearest to the heart.
What are the options?
They have gone.
Carry on.
and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
 May 2017 fustypetals
aa
Honest
 May 2017 fustypetals
aa
You didn't deserve the things I wrote about you,
but I hope they broke your heart nonetheless.
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