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 Jul 2018 F a r a h
Barker
Voices II
 Jul 2018 F a r a h
Barker
Is it really worth it?
Does loving you out weigh the cons?
You mean everything to me.
But I have these voices in my head
Telling me it's wrong.
These voices make me second guess everything.
I don't know.
What if I'm doing something wrong?
What if you don't really love me?
What if I'm just fooling myself?
...
What if you're just playing with me?
I've had my heart played with before.
What if this is all just set up for heartbreak?
I can't withstand another break up.
What if?
...
These voices keep me up at night.
I can barely sleep.
Sometimes I don't sleep at all.
I just lay awake thinking of all the possibilities.
I can hear the voices telling me that you don't like me.
I can hear them saying things that I know aren't true.
But they make me doubt everything.
I don't know what the truth is anymore.
And that scares me.
(c)ibarker
i would do anything
to have your lips stutter my name
let your words grasp my hand
watch your eyes search for mine.

to wait for you is impossible yet divine
when we exist in places
so far from where we are destined.

we are parallel lines

i would do anything
for us to be a painting instead
i'd color you in hues of unrequited love
and put us on a frame
i'll give it to you and say

'keep it. keep us. keep me'

'why'

'because we are so much more than just parallel lines'
finally found the inspiration to write again. i believe sorrow brings out the poet in everyone.
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
Harmony
written April 14, 2015

"Hiding the pain is becoming harder and harder each day
Why did you have to go away?
Why didn't you want me to stay?
Your claim says 'it's not you it's me'
But if that was the case, things wouldn't be
like this
I can't stop thinking about the times we kissed
And the flirtation between you and I
I just can't cope with this anymore
I can't stop feeling this way inside
I am constantly repressing it
acting like it doesn't matter
But when two people collide, talk for five months every day and then stop
their hearts should shatter
Mine has, like glass thrown on the floor
I have so much love for you, I want to show you more
But you cut me off like a tag on clothing
A quick snip, and we're done - I don't need you anymore
What you didn't know, was I was there for you, to help guide you you and chersh you
And I can't believe you did this to me
All I did was try to be the best to you
Because I love you dearly
This separation is nearly
the breaking point
for me"
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
Harmony
written March 9, 2015

"There is war raging inside my mind
I'm not fine
Need someone to help pull out, analyze, and perceive these feelings I'm feeling
deep down inside
And I'm trying
To cope with my sporadic brain
Please don't avoid me today
and everyday
Because it feels as if you're slipping away
and I cant handle this pain
I know you love me, I can feel it deep inside
But the feeling of overwhelming anxiety is higher
Has me contemplating, thinking that you may be a liar
And I'm tired
of my mind playing these stupid on and off games
Not knowing which direction my mind is aimed
So I take every day, as it comes and goes
Trying to embrace those harsh and lonely "lows"
Hoping for the best, I'm not doing so well
I didn't know loving someone causes your world to turn to hell"
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
cursed
I still remember the day you walked into my life. It was lightly raining and the sun was just starting to come out, but it was still dark and gloomy. It's funny how the moment I see that geeky-looking kind of guy, I never thought I'd be so in love with him till today. It's frustrating that I can't re-live that moment, but I'm happy that I've met you.*

But, all of this jealousy seeing you with her, daydreaming and running away from life, it's not healthy for me. I am very sure that I love you as I keep on giving excuses for all the pain you've caused me. I still think of your feelings after all the pain. I was ready to be there for you even after ending things. This isn't healthy for me, I know, but I can't help it when it comes to you.
that was a long hiatus. but here is a moment of my life right now. Painful, and barely holding on to my own life and feelings.

(n.a)
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
Kelly Weaver
There is no being
That can make my stomach turn
Or make my eyes burn
More than he.

                                         On cloudy days
                                     I yearn for the sun
                              To kiss my frozen skin
                          He left my heart chilled.

I often think of our past
No matter how painful
And I still cannot believe
I allowed you to treat me that way.

                                            I was so weak
    Accepting demons that weren't mine
       But how could I stick up for myself
          When I didn't know how to love?

How was I to know
That self acceptance gives
Overwhelming confidence
To the broken?

                     I do not regret my mistakes
       I could not question my judgement
       Thanks to you, I learned my lesson
                                 And I'm better for it.
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
Harmony
written March 19, 2015

"who said people can't be poisonous?
because the thought of you is taking over my body
i'm ill, dizzy, unable to think straight
and you're just the catalyst to the fire setting off inside of me
slowly deteriorating like a wave crashing against rocks
but my stance isn't so strong
now that you're gone
slowly, i slip
into the deep sea
drowning in your memory and full of everything we used to be

who said people can't be poisonous?
because i sure feel infected
nothing but you on my mind
nauseous over the broken promises you once said you'd never turn on
but now all you're turning on is the anxiety and depression inside of me
this black spot within, i once repressed
is now back and spreading like fire lit to forest green
because you are poisonous
yet
you are also my remedy"
yeah my bf broke up with me and it's really ******
Now you're gone
And you’re gone for good
So I’ll try not to miss you
But I’ll cry if I would

It’s been a year and half
And I’m still not over you
Even listening to songs
Reminds me of

You were so different
My right kind of wrong
Though you are a mess
It’s still you that I long

You never will be my perfect
But that's not *** I require
Because I accepted you for whom you are
A cheat, a kid, a lair

Everything around me
Somehow links up to you
This shatters me into pieces
An leaves my eyes with dew

Why do you have to go?
Why can’t you stay with me?
I can’t live without you
Why can’t you see?

I promise to give it all
Only give me a second try
Whatever you want will be done
This time I won’t make you cry

It’s still your call in the end
If you want to stay or want to go
But if you want me I’ll be there
I just want you to know

I can wait for you forever
I’ll be by your side when you need me
You got away by mistake
And so if you want to get back
I am and will always be ready
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
Alicia Hubert
Hey Sweetheart remember me?
The girl you said you 'loved' for almost a century?

Please just come back and I'll fix what is wrong,
I'll take care of you, nurture you 'till you're strong.

I'm sorry i called you so late last night,
but i was so drunk I had lost all my might.

I lost all personal control that would say no,
I was just missing you my sweet bitter woe.

One day I hope you'll stop resenting me,
And maybe then I won't be so crazy.

If that happens then maybe we'll bump into each other in the future,
like how we planned before we went out on this little 'adventure'.

We can go on dates and be adults filled with hope,
maybe even try and get a ring too elope?

I understand I'm really childish and I'm sorry I really am,
I'll do anything just for you to be my man.

I love you so much and I miss you terribly,
Please write back soon I'll just be sitting waiting here sadly.

-Alicia Hubert
I did two so there was the variation of the anger kept over him but also that side of love that is still left over.
 Jan 2018 F a r a h
vanessa ann
this is a tale
of two star-crossed lovers
with a love so powerful
they tainted the heavens
with bursts of colours

they were never meant to be;
mischievous little kids
finding love in sinful glee
in laughter, between dreams and reality

and though it was lawless,
they found solace
because in every prison,
they found a rhyme and a reason

but even for a love so great,
they could not escape
the fates’ wrath and envy

destiny pulled on their threads
cut them loose, thrusted them into misery;
for their memories were wiped clean,
but feelings remained as strong as they had ever been

the boy exiled in a far off land
across the pacific sea
the girl trapped in her need to break free
in a realm both boring and bland

ensnared in a labyrinth of woe
the lovers yearned for anything—
for something, for someone,
to obliterate this endless longing

the gods answered them
in the form of two loved ones
polished in every edge,
a perfect someone

but perfect felt too perfect
and not perfect enough
to fill up the hole
left by a perfectly imperfect

until one day the gods whispered
for the winds to push the two
and the birds to tug at their sleeves
over mountain and sea
even through the darkest valley
so their paths would finally meet

and so they did.

in the flurry of a moment
a pair of brown eyes met
and time was frozen
once more

the two stared intently
as if remembering a broken melody
a lost childhood song
branded as a wrong

the birds fluttered and flew
taking the cursed red fibre
snipped them in two
and the lovers felt all the lighter

it was the girl who spoke first:
“**** the stars.
i don’t want perfect,
i want you.”


eyes dazzling, the boy nodded:
“we’ll invert the universe—
the night sky a blank white
the stars pitch black
the earth moving in reverse”


the fates saw and surrendered
as the stars began to wither
for this love is love
in all its splendor

so the lovers walked away with a promise
under their breaths, they both swore:
“i lost you once,
but nevermore.”



they say no one can rewrite the stars,
so i propose we orchestrate supernovas.
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