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vanessa ann Aug 24
i am becoming the girl i've always wanted to be
vanessa ann Aug 24
you were beautiful still,
the blessings of the gods never really left you

silver hair like fallen stars
playful fingertips tracing the sky
with twinkling eyes and little giggles,
you were almost childlike

i love you,
even your voice was silky as ever
your lips grazing my skin,
i almost believed it.

you smiled then,
i couldn't quite recall why;
the fuzziness of a dream all at the same time a comfort
and a curse.

but you smiled your toothy grin,
and it took everything in me to not smile back

******* you and your beautiful smile

butterflies in my chest,
i was a schoolgirl once again

i love you,
you were downright adorable
with your stubborn conviction

wind in your hair
sunlight caressing your cheeks
you held my fingers tight
and kissed me good night

i felt my heartstrings tug

but worry not,
my heart's been through so much
to possibly mistake it for love
— sometimes i miss being in love, but was i ever?
vanessa ann Aug 2018
you’re the sun that rose again in my life
a childhood dream come true
all tears are gone
the moment i set my eyes on you

you are happiness defined,
the cause of my euphoria
you are my peace of mind,
my love, my gloria

when i’m with you,
even the desert becomes the sea
all things seem possible
when it is just you and me—
      for it is in your presence,
      that i feel the most free.
"when i'm with you, i'm in utopia"

inspired and practically based on bts's euphoria. dedicated to yjh, my very own cause of euphoria.
vanessa ann Jul 2018
the next time
a boy tells me,
“i love you”

i will respond with
“thanks,
me too.”
vanessa ann Jul 2018
what would i give
to wake up next to you
fingertips dancing on hips
as curtains give way to sunlight;
the world,
a wonder of sight?

what would i give
to drown...
in the crook of your neck
or the streams of your laughter
as you lurched your body forward
and laughed
with all your might?

what would i give
for our souls to entwine
the raggedness of your breath
spilling into mine?

what would i give
to be given a gift;
to weave another reality;
craft a different mentality;
build a sanctuary;
one with you and me
our confined souls broken free?

just what would i give
just what should i find
to redraw the line
for this silly popstar love of mine?
for yjh: my angel, my muse, and my very own popstar love

This was inspired by In Love with A Ghost's "popstar love", from which this poem got its title from. It's moments like these that I cherish; when the night is shifting to day and inspirations start flooding in. And it has always amazed me too, how music is able to influence my creative process.
vanessa ann Jun 2018
i guess what saddens me
isn't the distance
but rather,
the unshared memories
and new stories written
without you being in it
To my friends who are leaving this year.
I’m sad about you leaving, but not as much as knowing that you may no longer be a part of my life as big as you are right now. Everyone says we can always keep in touch. But the truth is, after a time of separation, we just start to lose connection. Everyday messages become scarce, Skype calls are long gone. The only interactions we'd have are Instagram likes and seeing unfamiliar faces along with yours on my feed.

I'll miss you guys, and I'll miss all the memories we have had together.
vanessa ann Jun 2018
writing is where i feel the most at peace,
the most honest i've ever been with myself

i don't feel the pressure
to create visually enchanting pieces,
nor do i feel the need
to impress or to please

i write so selfishly,
so inwardly,
so unapologetically;

as if the world is mine,
as if it revolves around me,
and will continue to do so,
as long as words keep flowing like spilled ink
on marble

with every letter that i scribe,
i build a bridge to dreamland;
with every word i craft,
i fill the tank with gasoline
and give myself the wings
to fly

because you could claim
that you've taken everything
that made me who i am,
but you could never take away my words
which i have so intricately
sewed onto my tongue

because for as long as my words live,
i live;
and as long as my words thrive,
i'll fly.
this is not a perfect poem by any means, and certainly not my best work. but it is by far the most raw, most honest piece i've written. i felt a great amount of love for this art as i wrote this at 1 am, and i hope that you can feel some amount of it as well.
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