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Barker Jul 7
I was born with a Lens of detachment towards the world.
It’s superficial ideologies never really caught my eye.
I saw the world and it’s people for what it is.
Plastic, fake, a man made product of false ideas and irrational decisions.
That despite the claim that we are superior beings
We are nothing like this.
(C)ibarker
Barker Jul 7
I spend the day working on things that keep me busy.
I spend the night working in an empty garage, repairing cars.
I do this to distract myself, but sometimes my mind just stops when I’m working and thinks about that nagging thought that never seems to go away.

I notice it and I think to myself.
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough
But no matter how many times I say it
It doesn’t change the feeling of worthlessness

Because deep down I know that if I was enough.
Things would be different.
My life would mean something to someone
Or just general
(C)ibarker
Barker Jul 7
Beneath my hard edges.
Beneath my torn, battered heart.
Beneath my sunbathed flesh 
and these worn bones

Please believe, 
that somewhere in me,
there is a love song
and it is the kind you listen to
while driving back home
Barker Jul 7
Life just slips away.
Maybe you didn’t mean it to,
Maybe you just got lost in the ocean of your own thoughts,
Maybe the voices of others bothered you, so you dunked your head under water to drown out the noise,
Maybe it’s all of those moments you wasted on work
Maybe it’s all the times you’ve changed yourself to please someone.
(C)ibarker
Barker Jul 7
I prayed to god
After you broke my heart.
I prayed for him to make the pain stop.
At first nothing happened.
I started to hate the pain.
I started to feel hopeless.
But one day I was able to get out of bed.
I was able to eat.
And suddenly the pain became manageable.
Until it was barely even there
Barker Jun 21
Love isn’t worth the pain anymore.
I’m a hopeless romantic and maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.
(C)ibarker
Barker Apr 17
I know I'm lost with no motivation to find my way back.
I led myself down a paper trail of the pages of my mind,
Now I want them back.
I'm somewhere between no courage among the other things I lack.
Lost in desperation where an ember turns to ash.

Somewhere along this path, I crossed the line,
Broken promises I've made without thinking twice.
I left my second thought and reason behind.
All in the name of making you mine.
Yet you left me alone and shattered my heart into a million pieces,

And now I keep asking myself
Why do I think that I have to live this life alone?
I know I'm lost,
I thought that when we lose ourselves,
We find each other,
But I guess I was wrong.
Now I am back to that feeling of heartbreak
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