Every scream left an echo
Rippling through my mind
I held my breath
Hoping the veins in my neck would  unveil my every thought
I had been bluffing far too long
Playing a game with a deck of spades
I was unprepared
Young, naive, shamefully virginal
I watched myself in the reflection
I smiled
Why was I smiling
I looked away and with a gasp I saw it was me
It was me
I held my breath
I jumped
My feet tore through the glass
My body seemed to rupture as the cold enveloped me
I held my breath
Turning my head to the sky, I opened my eyes
There I was looking down at the body below
And I smiled
I couldn't look anymore
I couldn't watch
I couldn't face myself again
I had to breathe
I ****** in the water
And with my resolve
I prayed for my mother
I prayed for God
I prayed for someone to reach down and pluck me out
I looked up one final time
And she jumped.

I wanted to stop
Truly I did
But the idea became more than disillusion
I was drawn to it
We were all drawn to it
Like flies
But it was bound in thick glues and saps ready to **** us in
I watched him take the first bite
Venom spilt from his lips
Molding them
Rotting them
I ran with determination
But there was the apple
The drug
The venom
I wanted to stop
But **** it was sweet

I feel the plates of the earth pushing us apart
We grind and we glide but we never let go
I think about you there in the cold winters
On my tiny island
In my inferno
I think about the scruff on your face
The rose in your cheeks
I wonder about your scent
I think about the way your skin must feel
Underneath another's nails
But in truth I know I deserve no claim
My loyalty came with a price
And to be fair
The wound is still raw
Still open
Still waiting
If waiting for the past makes me a fool
Then to hell with wisdom
I won't swallow this
But today is not the day
For resolutions

When the world breaks
And the sky falls
When the sun expands
And engulfs the moon
Will you be the one to carry out the final blows?
Will you run from the flames?
Will your final words be sweet goodbyes?
Or will a battle cry rip from your lungs

Will you become
Or will you be?

The consequences of my infinite vanity
Was the realization of my mortality
I wished to be young and free
But age has taken me by little surprise
The whisps of gray tangled around my face
They engulfed me
Like the riverbeds in my cheeks
The ivory in my teeth
My children watched the ticking clock
Hungry
The clock strikes 12!
She's dead!
But I can never die
I took then by surprise
I clawed my way from the grave
The dirt in my teeth tastes like copper and old bandages
I was consuming myself
The nips
The tucks
The folds
The lifts
They all came crashing down on me
Down on my head
I'm down on my head

I will always have this 50 reasons why I love you
I will always have this faith of meeting you again
I will always keep this beats that I am feeling
I will always have this daydream walking with you.

I will always go back, turn the page of my life when we are on the same road
I will always imagine the sparks that flew from your eyes
I will always recall those long talks
I will always remember those butterflies.

I will always miss you
I will always be captivated by your eye
I will always want to hang-out with you in the rest of mt life
I will always want to keep you forever.

With the weight on the world on your shoulders
Will you be the one to crawl?
The serpent writhing on the earth
The angel before the fall

Will the whisper of your greatest sins
Send shivers down your neck?
Will the kiss of death bite through your lips?
Will remembrance take your breath?

Do you crave the iron blades of truth
The wisp serenity
Did the sirens tempt your wicked heart
Will your penance be the fee?

With the weight of the world on your shoulders?
Your knees dragging the earth
Can you find yourself sinking in
When you're choking on your worth

"I am alone"

I repeat as I toss the last shovel of soil over the grave of my careless love.