I am sorry.
I want everyone to know that this is no one's fault.
If anyone were to blame, it would be the universe herself,
and even that seems unfair.
She is trying to survive, just like the rest of us.
I am not sure where I will go now.
Whether it will be pearly gates
or eternal sleep
or a fire place
I am unsure,
but it is worth the risk to escape this reality.
I remember my mom holding me as I sobbed
because my best friend had been ***** and I did not save her.
My mother whispered like a lullaby into my ear,
there was nothing you could have done.
As if the fact that horrible things happen to innocent people
and there is no way to stop it
should come as a comfort to me.
I realize that this is just how life is
and if everyone else can live with it then I should be able to, too,
but I cannot seem to keep myself from trying to rescue everyone.
I am throwing myself into the ocean to resuscitate those seen drowning,
I am being swept out by the tide,
gagged by the salt water,
pulled beneath the surface by the ones I am trying to hold up.
Maybe I am weak.
Maybe I am too dense to fight the pull of gravity.
Maybe gravity will finally get what it wants
when I, in my brown box, am lowered as deep as this life can take me.
My spine is no longer strong enough to withstand this pressure.
I am breaking.
I am leaving.
I am gone.
I am sorry.

Tired-hungry days
Get me down like nothing else
Except for those ones,
Missing-the-past days, and you
The days when I just miss you.

A broken swing set.
Dust carpeting the fractured terrain.
Lost, in forgotten memories.

Hi there,
I say to the ocean,
dropping my shoes
for the sandy pilgrimage
to shore,

A lone figure wanders
into a Delft seascape,
Blues and whites
of Dutch perfection engulf
my field of vision,
Water and sky reflecting
back infinite shades,

the blue of stiff dungarees
at the horizon,
clouds in shaving cream white,
the heron blue gray of the shallows,
I could name twenty shades
on a good day, like today
when the beach is all mine,

I step into the cool ooze,
jolted into a sudden jig,
I hop, a riot of ah's and elbows,
Waves rush at me
like a legion of puppies,
frothy and excited,
I laugh at their sloppy greeting,
Overwhelmed by their welcome,
unconditional and salty,
Spray lapping my face
as I find my footing.

The boundaries in the mind
Is impenetrable by the Light
Of consciousness,
Concealing the obdurate ideas
Within the confines of the walls
Held captive, and mired in obscurity
Leaving the mind in desolation*




© Amitav (Radiance)

She sits at the loom
Weaving the fabric
Interwoven with dreams
The threads of trust and surrender
It’s an intimate mesh of finery
The colors of passion dyeing it
To hues of crimson, from the blushes
Of the maiden weaving her dreams
Intricate designs adorn the taffeta
With the future of love and togetherness
The bonding of a strong fabric of Love
To drape them over their bare bodies
Together, gazing at the starry skies
As they descend to adorn the drape
Shimmering with the passion of Love
The maiden and her lover, has woven a drape
Celebrating their togetherness
For Love has bonded them with fabric of Love
A drape so intricate and warm
For Love shall always be draped, till eternity




© Amitav (Radiance)

The words I wish to express
Are right here, ready to flow
An impediment halts their delivery
Could it be the lonely lighthouse
That I wish to compare myself to
Is no longer to be lonely?
Is it that I can sense you warming once more?
I hope that is why I'm wordless tonight

We are all not sure about everything in our life
Today might be okay but tomorrow has no assurance
Some will stay and some will go away
You can do what you want, you can be productive, fool, pretty, smart or stay being the same.

Every minute of our life is a matter of reason
Others may use it wisely and willing to catch bullets
Some will let the opportunities to past to prevent aches
Well, that's life! We are living in world with different opinion.

If you are new in this game, try everything that's good for you
If you are afraid, take the risk, who knows?
If you are pressured, take it easy! Stay clam.
If you are exhausted, give your self a break.

Sometimes you have to be alone to escape the loneliness*~ Amitav