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 Feb 2018
starchild
I got so sick of being on my own
Now the devil wont leave me alone

Its almost like ive got a friend
(Warning realy short) =) </3
 Jan 2018
Dark Delusion
Everytime I try to think of someone else,
Everything just blurs and goes blank for a long time.
I’m beginning to lose my mind because of you.
You're driving my whole world insane.

You bought my heart for a thousand smiles.
You never left me to be forgotten.
I gave you my body, my everything.
And now you stole my mind.

I’m sticking needles inside my skin,
Just to forget you.
The nightmares are pretending to be you,
Pulling me deeper down.

The illusions, hallucinations.
They exist because of you,
Never leaving me alone.
Always drugging me,
Making me eager for your love.

They’re drinking my soul,
Feeding off of my negativity.
Pressuring me to think more,
Making me the petty victim here.

They’re forcing me to drink,
They’re getting me drunk from my habits.
They’re making homemade guilt,
Forcing it down my throat.

Making me delusional,
I can't see through right and wrong.
They want me to believe I did it,
And they know they’re gonna succes.

They’re inflicting damage to my reality,
They’re brainwashing me, ******* everything out.
They change me, they’ve changed me.
They’ve destroyed me.

You’re my only desire for freedom,
You’re my opportunity to get away from it all.
You’re the only one I would remember,
If my life should disappear.

I’m only a doll, a machine for a greedy heart.
I’m ill, im psychotic.
I see things, I hear things.
And I know it, but i still believe every single thing.

I never did see the murderous intent
Of the expression in my eyes.
I avoided mirrors to flee from the sickening thoughts.
But things stand clearer now.

You wanted to walk away,
So I caught you.
And broke open your body,
To devour your life. I wanted you all to myself,
I wanted to treasure you forever.

I exist because of you,
And now I endure responsibilities of my crazy mistake.
Nothing’s false, nothing’s true.
They’ve taken everything there is to take.
The cursor curses the wait

thru the blinks it sniffs
something is amiss

it can't though surmise the cause
of the pause
but guesses the abyss

elusive shapes and shadows
a void that grows
the lost surge

the jumble in the head
the missing thread
the moribund urge.

There's so much to right
and nothing to write.
 Jan 2018
Megan H
Us
You're just as important to me
As I am to you.
So don't downplay yourself
As if you're nothing.
You are my everything.
You are the face
That I want to see when I wake up.
The voice that I want to hear say,
"Good morning, beautiful."
I listen to everyone's problems,
But yours are the only ones
That don't annoy me
Because they are my problems too
And I guess I just accepted
That I want to be with you
For a long long time
And I love that idea
Of us
 Dec 2017
Lizzie
Don't test me, 'cause when the time comes I'll make something out of nothing...
 Nov 2017
Megan H
I am not diagnosed with anxiety,
But I know it is there.
I do not take pills,
But perhaps I should.
When I sit here with my thoughts
I know I should be doing something.
I cannot disappoint people
I cannot fail.

I diagnose myself with anxiety,
And the anxiety is you.
Instead of pills,
I reach for the bottle of liquor.
When I sit here with my thoughts,
I know I should be doing what you want.
I cannot disappoint you
I cannot fail.
 Oct 2017
aar505n
I fear me
Because I do
Not know me

Who is me
When others
Are not around?

I can be others
The son, the worker
The old friend, the lover
These are roles
I can control well

But when you
Strip the actor
Of his roles
what is he?

There is just me
And that scares me
I have made myself an 'other', and now I'm left on the outside looking in. Observing and trying to understand the actions and habits of this strange creature that is me.
 Oct 2017
Rebel Heart
Poems aren't simple raps
About money or ***
Nor a contest
To see how many words you could rhyme
With time or chime or slime or crime
Like the crime I'd be committing
If I confined these words to such a small pool
Of what society deems poetry to be...

Poetry is a being
Born from freedom
Risen from the tides
Of emotions that ran so deep
It cut into a person's heart and soul...
So I guess I'm just trying to understand
When it became such a dreary concept
Taught in the confines of walls
As rigid and cold
As the useless rhyme scheme of words
Released into the world for a simple test
When in reality, poetry was meant to be sown with care
And grow into something beautiful...

The real beauty of poetry
Comes from the way
The letters dance and flow together
Into the head and to your heart
Binding us all together
Cherishing our differences
In the same rhythm it holds
The entire universe
With all its secrets
In the space between them
A response to a teacher RH and I had years ago that I found in the lost files of her (RH's) poetry journey... I guess at the time I, like the others, despised writing in general as much as that teacher of ours, but RH's love for it never dwindled and I hope it never does... Almost crying thinking about all these memories though it has nothing to do with the poem so before I turn this into a rant, enjoy and leave your comments below.. ~BM
 Oct 2017
Megan H
I found myself
Getting lost in your eyes
The same way
I've looked at the stars
Since I was 7

And every second
Feeling like a million years
Heavy with time
I sink deeper and deeper
While you raise me up

I found myself
In your eyes
Through your darkening gaze
This must be love-
This intoxicating feeling.
 Aug 2017
aar505n
and this is my reality

the promises i brake
the choices i don't make

i blur the lines
to keep my mind straight
losing myself in others
when i don't want to be me

right now i am smoking outside
with these strangers disguised as friends
these cigarettes aren't for me
but for them

i have lost myself along the way
i haven't been me for awhile now

and that is my reality
I can't stop performing
 Jul 2017
Megan H
I like to give people things
I'll buy them food
Or their movie ticket
Or I'll give them a ride somewhere
Free of charge.
I like to give people things
Because I know how the world is
How it takes too much

It took my father
It took my sanity
It took my patience
It took my hope
But it has not taken away my will
I always have a choice

I choose to give.
And I will give until I have nothing left
Because then,
At least it will be my choice.
And I will know that
The world cannot take away
Something I no longer have.
Give a little everyday, and the world might just end up being a happy place.
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