If I died today would you miss me?
My last words I said, did you listen?
When I told you I've lost my shine, instead of hugs you made me cry.
Would you miss me if today I died?

Endless summer nights, sativa hazed eyes.
Whiskey on our breathe, cheap perfume on our necks.
We're miles away, a party was our sweet escape.
Slurred words and spilt beers, we drank to the glory years.
When nothing really matter but our happiness,
you cant replace a best friend. A friend til the end.
I'd do anything do have a glory night again.

Maybe being lost is the best part of finding yourself,
completely and utterly engulfed in the unknown.
Every turn is a new opportunity to learn something about yourself you never knew before, there's beauty in that entire journey.

Discover yourself to the fullest, reach deep within,
find that thing and run with it.
That thing is what makes you, you.
And nobody can ever take that from you.

Fall in love with their eyes
They'll never "change"
But that is a lie.

I once saw luminous golden hues that shimmered, on those days you were affectionate.

Some days there was fall brown with evergreen specs, in those times you were at your best and truly yourself.

When I couldn't see hues, you were at your worst.

But the last time I had gotten lost in your eyes, there was no color change...and it was the most horrid thing I've seen.

Hate never looked so depressing that night, your eyes mirrored what I fear most.

**Death

I'm tired and always cold
Almost finished a family size box of Cheerios...food comas.
Lack of motivation because it's so gloomy and cold outside.
So, it seems like a better idea to stay in my warm solitude, rather than being productive and having a life.
But this too shall pass shortly,
It's just depression seasonally.

I'd never leave a night without my favorite men.
Jack, made me feel ambitious and protected.
Jameson, warmed me when the nights were too cold to bare.
And lastly, Jose, I'd never have a dull moment when he was around. He always knew how to lift my spirits when life was out of lemons.

I'd leave them all for you in a heart beat, but you've opened yours to me only to reveal a love as cold as the ice cubes in my honey Tennessee.

Where is the nearest liquor store? My men and i have much catching up to do.

How can you miss something you've never held on to long enough to be yours?
deprived of lips you've never touched
longing for a warmth you've never had before
restless anxiety
Why do we sabotage the unknown? out of fear to be loved and adored?
feeling childish over non-existent efforts to be happy
I miss her faded heart...

I miss scrapping my knee and my mother running to my rescue
Fighting with my siblings over the saturday morning cartoons
Belly aching laughters
Bonfire burnt legs and running through the snow to save them
Sunburned skin from hours of jetskiing at the lake
70mph winds hitting my iced face on the rocket
Broken heels and memorable nights
Mosquito bites from sleepless nights beneath the moon
Lost phones and genuine hearts gained
cross stitched scars and new hobbies
I miss hurting in a way that healed me...until then.

Your eyes never seem to leave mine.
But how could I not stare at the flowing Carmel that runs through them.

Oh, how you make me feel...soft.
Like a single blade of grass, galantly dancing in the wind without a care in the world.

Just dancing, freely.
I'd dance my nights away with you if it meant I could spend the mornings wrapped in your arms, gazing at Carmel hazed eyes.

Intertwined lovers
hands discovering new skins
lips locked and hazed eyes

You're not in my dreams anymore, as though you've faded to the darker corners of my mind.