You put me down next to the others

Let the soft wind blow my ash

You’ve been known as a bad lover

But I was a fool to let that pass

Smoked me in, I’m in your veins

Now I own you like no other

Go and try, exhale the pain

My vengeance cigarette burns forever

And we both know, you’ve tasted better.

I fear there is nothing left of my wit, and in place of my heart a rose doth sit.
A red rose now blue with sorrow.

It's peddles fall from time to time, like angel's tears, gracing us with a glimmer of that once red rose.

If there are no peddles in the morn will I be a man without sorrow, or a man without love?

Is a rose without peddles still a rose, or simply a thorn?

What will thaw my frosted rose and bloom red love once again?

This smile that makes your day...
This undaunted smile that seem to say.
Show me yours too so we both could play,
On a plane where everything is fine...
Everything's okay...

This smile that reaches out to you...
With nothing but invisible arms.
Caresses your eyes and draws you in.
Entices you with the sweetest charms.

Whispers you tales of a brightly lit future;
Where we're trapped in dance with each other...
Supporting...
Leading...
Lifting and,
Seducing one another...

Let the music ring clear,.
Over the thumping of our heartbeats...
Aggressively segmenting, framing the dance into seconds that would elapse.
Like two duelists entranced into committing tender jousts and retreats.

But know that...
This smile screams only lies.
For it is but a routine mask.
So well worn and adequately rehearsed...
You'd never see the need to ask.

Instead you'd just allow yourself be taken,
To a place where the tide gently beats...
Upon the shore our two ailing hearts.
A place where earth and sky would meet.

When in fact,
It hides the turmoil and agitation.
Guarding the storm that brews incessantly.
Continuously threatening
To breach this shared sanctity with me.

A haven would've then be erected.
That very instant we allowed...
This dance of smiles
From time of first contact to the time we bowed.

This smile... Only took a second
To paint a peaceful picture upon my face.
Free from the pressures building behind my pursed lips.
Just take this smile so that in that second,
We could get lost in the promise of a heavenly place...

I feel I have lost something I didn't have in the first place
when you left,  I tried to catch  sun rays but all I have in my hands now are dust mites and remnants of our old arguments
my palms are full of words I wished I told you,
full of truths that I wish you knew
my mind is full of cobwebs and replays of old memories
that you should've taken with you
even the sun retires to slumber
the darkness is innate and it’s lying beside me now,
in the space where you used to sing me to sleep
staining our white sheets with a color darker than black
I can still hear your uninteresting stories about how your day went,
I can’t even remember any of your words,
i just know that I love listening to your voice
even when you’re not talking
I shivered at that thought, the cold reached my veins
and left my blood frozen, stagnant, dead.
I told my lungs to stop breathing in so deeply
because inhaling your scent won't bring back your warmth
I can feel my brain is about to shut down
slowly deleting all the traces of you like a computer virus
your absence is a disease
and it grew cancerous flowers in my heart
my body is refusing to live
because it knows it has lost
all reasons to exist

when I woke up this morning there was a hole in my chest

and  nothing hurts anymore

I'm not used to hearing things
that make my heart beat fast
and my legs shake.
I'm not used to getting calls
unless it's 3 a.m.
and someone just needs to vent.
But man would I answer in
a heartbeat just so I can hear your voice
even when I just want to sleep.

They say pain comes in waves
But it always feels more like I'm standing in the rain with you.
All fake smiles and sun showers.

She says he holds her hands like they're daisies.
Remember the time you watched my fingers tremble for three hours?
It was the first time I let you turn me into an earthquake.

She says he won't let go, that's shes afraid he never will.
I don't know if that's a curse or a blessing,
But I do know that when it came from your lips,
it was as a promise.

She says he doesn't really love her.
Explains that he doesn't actually want her,
he just doesn't want anyone else to have her,
As if this is all new to me.
She doesn't see the way my eyes go dark when she says this.
She doesn't know about the J carved into my ribs,
Doesn't know that its been burning me since the day you explained to me how much easier it is to leave than to stay.
And i bet you don't know that leaving has been my trade mark ever since.

She says they're just empty threats,
That he'll get over it, doesn't really mean it.
I try to listen to her speak over the sound of you telling me "I won't ever do it again" over and over somewhere deep in my head.
Somewhere where memories and dreams collide,
A place where the image of you still lives like a photograph I keep trying to burn.

She tells me again about the other boy,
The one who is sweet and soft
Who doesn't mind waiting
and leaves her notes on her car.
She smiles as she talks about him,
And I helplessly watch as the color fades from her face as she tells me she's afraid.

I remember the fear you made me feel.
I remember believing I could never have him as long as I had you.
And no matter how hard I try to forget it all, my biggest regret is never letting him love me because I was too busy loving you.

She uses the word "toxic" and I flinch.
I choke back the taste of your name bubbling at the back of my throat,
Listen to her tell me it's time for her to move on.

I never tell her that seven years later,
I still wake up screaming your name every night.

You penned a soliloquy
yet I heard my own voice
You spoke of your own hardship
yet you gave me no choice
You talked about your pain
yet I writhe in agony
You penned a soliloquy
yet you said nothing worthy

You spoke of nothing but yourself
you spoke only of your pain
You spoke of a singular truth
you forgot to mention my heart slain

What?
You couldn't write a sonnet?
14 artful lines are not that long
You couldn't Acrostic this?
I HURT SOMEONE

No!

You write a soliloquy
Where your discourse is so obtuse!
Even in the form of Poetry
you deny me

*Is it the truth?

Like an infectious disease
you spread your lies
despite the hurt the pleas and cries
your actions they intoxicated
a delicate soul
we all played into your game
gave you all the control.