my heart is breaking
it hurts so bad
help me piece it back together

I'm curled up on the bathroom floor
Wishing for something more
But what it is I do not know
Maybe love or a way to show,
My bleeding heart, the shattered glass
I hope this feeling will pass
Maybe a blade stained with red
Or a way out of my broken head
I'm gonna try to sleep  
So off to my bed I creep
Goodnight
Sleep tight
Goodbye
Don't cry, for me
I'll be free

I used to think I was different
special
weird
but I'm not
I read and paint
I sew and write poetry
I look after little kids
and I love
I'm a gay 15 year old with a girlfriend
I watch anime and read fanfic
I roleplay and cosplay
but so do my friends I am just like them
I'm not different
I am a cookie cutter
just like everybody else
and after telling myself I was weird for 15 years
its hard to be normal
I don't know what to do
I want to be different
but I'm not

I'm naked sitting on my bed
Wrapped in an old leather jacket
Bad thoughts running through my head
I lay there and think **** it
Maybe I'm not ment for this planet
So I let the tears frame my face
My body as cold as granite
As I quietly slip into empty space

Cut me open.

Remove the demons from me.

I don't want to be their friend anymore.

By seven I knew I was different

By eight I thought I was weird

By nine I thought I was fat

By ten I thought I was ugly

By eleven I started to hate myself

By twelve I thought I shouldn't exist

By thirteen I wanted to die

By fourteen I began to selfharm

By fifteen I planned my death

By sixteen I was long gone

I will rip my veins apart
and then my mind will be at peace
for a while

My wrist will pour blood
I need it to bleed
or bead

I am counting the seconds
till this can happen
5..4..3..2..1..

I am now content
with the results
but I'm getting dizzy

I can hear sirens
the sound is getting stronger
is it coming for me?


(lcb)

You say I do it for the attention
If I was doing it for the attention I would cut where you could see the scars
That I'm just doing it because its "trendy"
I'm doing is because I was so sad I wanted to feel something other than my breaking heart
That its not me
I may not like it but it is just as much me as my hand or leg

You whisper behind my back about me being "sick"
I am not ******* sick I am hurt. I need help but heaven forbid you be the one with the out stretched hand
All the things you say when you think I can't hear you
I can hear the whispers, the murmurs, the tiny little things you say about me affect how many cuts will be on my arm the next day
You say I'm ruining my body
I am hurting myself but if you can't look past the scars and love me then *******.

Yes I cut.
I am not proud of the fact that I pick up a blade and put it down on my thigh.
I want to get better
But I can't if you won't acknowledge what I've been doing.

Please help me.
Why won't you listen to me?
I'm screaming please help.