death

Sometimes I just want to lock the door
I want to fall to the floor
Shut my eyes
Where I see no light

Hidden in the darkness
I find myself
I need help

I am the one
To help myself
Escape my mind
Finally break inside

Let all things go
Escape the lies
Believe in myself
I’ll heal with time

Sometimes I close my eyes
Expecting to escape the darkness inside
Haunted by the melody
The silence of my heartbeat

Where has the light gone
Pain is so numb

No one knows
Always put on a show

Convince myself
I don’t need help
When I drown inside
Alone in my mind

Push all aside
Make it through the night

You’re not alone
But you got to make it known
Don’t run and hide
Let someone stand by your side

Things are confusing.
        Life is confusing.
I have a long way to go.
        I have a lot of work I need to do.
                   The question is, can I do it alone?
I’ts hard.
       Asking for help.
                   Trusting.
Letting my guard down enough to admit
I’m not strong enough to handle it.
        This.
Sometimes, it gets to be to much.
But im here.
That’s all that matters.
And I will keep fighting
Staying Strong.

Am I really crazy?
      I feel I am
            So lost in my head
                  With issues

Run. Run. Run.
Don’t Look Back.
Don’t Think.
No Plan.
Just Run.
     That’s how I remember it.
   I love it.   From that point on
   It,
                                                                ­was
                                                                ­        MY
                                                      ­                          life.
           Then I thought
               I paced
                    I turned back
                            To the hell I live
                                                    I like school
                                     I don’t like home
                            I like mom
            I don’t like home
Why?
You Don’t know
me
my life.

Once upon a lovely night
There was a couple, high and bright
Kiss and love and hold her tight
Come on baby, tonight’s the night

Let’s turn off the light
I’ll hold you close
I wanna feel you
Go down low
Come on baby,
Take off your clothes
Tonight’s the night
To give it a go

I love you
I miss you
Oh god I want to kiss you
Please my darling baby
Won’t you come and stay with me

Let’s spend our life together
Even through stormy weather
As long as we’ve got each other
That’s all we need
We can live together
So happily
In love forever
An eternity

Remember that day
That my heart broke?
I asked about her, and you began to choke
You held me close, you kissed my cheek
You told me it was a big conspiracy

I believed you at first
Yes, I was blind
I didn’t want to believe
You had lied

When I found out the truth,
I wanted to slap you in the head
at that very moment
I wished I was dead

Maybe I am just not enough

but the truth is I did nothing wrong
I was the best I could be all along
if you want to cheat on someone,
then go ahead and see
you will end up alone
losing me
I deserve the best
she’ll break your heart
she’ll do to you
karma’s part

but let me ask
was she worth breaking my heart?
The pain and regret from the very start?
You told her you loved her
I thought you loved me?
One day I know
that you WILL see

You said you loved me
Held me tight
You kissed my forehead
Kept me safe through the night

But you kissed her too
You held her tight
You loved her too
Now we’re in a fight

How can I ever trust you
You kissed other girls
How can I ever love you
You loved other girls

I'll never feel good enough
I'll never fully smile
I'll never be truly happy
I'll never forgive you liar!

Fire
                                           Like Fire, I’m brave
                                                 Courageous
                                                 I have spark
                                                    Passion­
                                         Vigorous enthusiasm
                                                 But, like fire,
                                              I’m also irritable
                                    I destroy love, relationships,
                                          And I burn bridges
                                     I burst into sudden anger
                                                    Jealous­y
                                  Eruptions of past heartbreaks
                               But, unlike fire, I can be calm like

Air
                                                I’m carefree
                                                Kind-hea­rted
                                           Too easily trusting
                                            I’m independent
                                                 Optimistic
                                                   Diligent
                                        Light and free flowing
                                                 But, like air,
                                           I can be dishonest
                                                   Cunning
                                               Backstabbing
                                                Inco­nsistent
                              But, unlike air, I am forgiving like

Water
                                                I am devoted
                                                     Modest
                                                    Intuit­ive
                                                     Loving
                                               But, like water,
                                          I’m taken for granted
                                             Often over looked
                                                     Unstable
                                                   Unreliable
                                                      ­ Rigid
                                                        Laz­y
                                         Violent and moody
                             But, unlike water, I am humble like

Earth
                                              I am cautious
                                                Resistan­t
                                              Responsible
     ­                                              Sober
                                               Ambitious
                                               Respectful
                                                Punctu­al
                                            But, like Earth,
                                               I’m touchy
                                                  Timid
  ­                                              Scornful
          ­                        And periodically dormant

Sleepy sleepy lullaby
Im ready ready, time to die
**** me, **** me
In my sleep
Run your tallons
Real real deep
Take me please
I ask real nice
Please **** me **** me
Gouge my eyes
Choke me, scratch me
Pull my hair
Cut me open, blood everywhere
I’ll ask again
Real real nice
Please **** me
In my sleep tonight

I lay here in the dark of night
Misty fog around my eyes
How could you **** me?
Crush my soul
You evil devil
I’ll let you know,
I see you on the streets,
and on the train.
In strangers’ faces,
I see the pain
Your footprints show
throughout my life
They follow me
into the dark of night

Darkness
Stale air
Death
I’d recognize it anywhere
The end
Oblivion

I am but only a lowly feather
Drifting through life, caught by the wind
Searching for love
That simple affection

I am but a dove
Fragile and weak
Softhearted, kind spirit
One day it will be seen

I am but a swan
Graceful and sweet
I give it my all
My every heart beat

I am but a hummingbird
Large heart beats fast
Looking for love
To numb the pain of the past

He was but only a lonely human
Drifting through life, caught by the lust
Searching for games
Girls to play

He was but a wolf
Looking for sheep
Preying on innocence
Until he would bite too deep

He was but a bear
Liked to eat
Would ask them to cook
So he could sleep

He was but a chameleon
Blending in with each
Making them feel safe
Like the connection was deep

He was but a lion
I was but a lamb
I fell in love with the lion
He fell in love with the lamb
But he bit me
And as I bled
He couldn’t believe what he had did
I confessed my love
He didn’t walk away
But after I died
He found his new game

Let me ask
Does the guilt crush you?
Until you can’t feel anymore
Does it **** you?
Until you are too numb to breathe
Does it leave you empty?
To where you chase pointless hope

Because YOUR lies crushed ME
Where I cannot feel
They killed me
Where I’m too numb to breathe
They’ve left me empty
Where I chase pointless hope
That one-day maybe, you’ll truly love me
You say you do
You’ve convinced yourself
But if you did
You wouldn’t look
Somewhere else

Im paralyzed with pain
A numbing sting
An empty stain
Every day
It becomes a part of me
In every way
Who I am
An empty shell
Feelings are dead
My mind can’t tell
It’s complete dread

I try to heal
To forgive
I try to trust
You once again
but in return
I have a guarded heart
With a dark soul, like fire it burns
Are we better apart?

You’ve tainted me
Every breath
You’ve killed my soul
I’m ready to greet death

But I tell my lungs
They can’t give out
I tell my heart
To love without doubt
I tell myself
we must work through
Keep going together
A couple of two
Nausea every time
You leave my sight
I lay awake every night

You are like ******
My one true addiction I have to fight
Every dose keeps me alive
But every time
Its kills me inside
So tell me
Does the guilt make you feel alive?
The adrenaline rush of a new girl
To **** inside
Another victim to get addicted
To your sweet demeanor outside
Tell me
Does the same thing
That keeps you alive
Also **** you deep inside?