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I want you
and a home to come home to
or maybe to come home to you
or maybe a home in you
or maybe I just want you.
Just write about writing about having nothing to write about.
 Jan 2018 aubrey sochacki
nanda
my heart is an ocean
unpredictable
calm and stormy
a blue force
that hides thousands of secrets

many have wandered
out on my untameable seas
but my waves have dragged them
my love drowned them

but you
you are the only one
that can sail through my heart
the only sailor
who knows the ways
knows what will happen next
you know the semantics
know the secrets bellow
you know what places to approach
and which ones are better to stay far

and it pains me so much
that after months of sailing around
you always go back to the land
haven’t written in so long... i’ve been lacking inspiration; but the other they i cruised by the shore, and this is what came out of it
 Jan 2018 aubrey sochacki
-df
sometimes i wonder
what you felt as i walked out
the door.

were you hoping i'd come back?
did you doubt our love?
or did it ever cross your mind to run after me?

i won't pretend to have no fault,
i was scared that we were too young to make this love last.

so by the time i had made up my mind,
i guess you had too,
my key no longer opened your door.

{d.f. | 01/23/18}
Understand the noise
to value the
silence.
This is something I said to someone years ago when we were talking about depression and our hopes of finding love...
Occasionally I come across a person with brown eyes,
and I compliment them on those peepers.

More often than not, they laugh and say,
"Oh, they're just brown."
Or
"They're **** colored."
Or
"I wish I had blue/green/hazel eyes."

I want to grab them by the shoulders,
pull them close to me,
look into those eyes and say,
"Your eyes are alluring, deep, and warm."

Eyes the color of delicious coffee,
of which I want to gulp every last drop.
Eyes the color of ancient leather,
the binding of the best books.
Eyes the color of the soft soil,
from which everything good grows.

I say,
"Love your eyes, it's how the rest of us see into your soul."

Brown eyes are my favorite eyes.
Brown eyes make me feel like I am home.
 Jan 2018 aubrey sochacki
Alara
As I lie on my floor today,
My mind makes its way back to yesterday
When your hand reached for mine
As I lay next to you.
You said that you could hear the beat of my heart,
The heart that beats just for you
Your embrace is like a dream
One of those which you wish to never wake from
And through each embrace,
You define love
With a definition so great,
That I never thought possible.
a mole to kiss
for good luck,

the cut you
got as a child,

I keep reading
your body,

your story...
and then I asked you,
"What's your biggest fear?"

you gave me a quivering sigh,
looked at me straight in the eyes
and said,

"It's that eventually, you will see me
the way I see myself."
You got me hooked on Moleskin journals.
It might not seem like much,
but when you consider that it's the vessel
into which I daily pour myself,
Like some bank account, holding all my emotional savings,
it's a pretty substantial influence.
So thanks.

You got me hooked on being known.
Not the "name her favorite color/album/flavor" kind of known.

The "ask me how I am, because you hear the trace amounts of fakeness in my laughter" kind of known.



Before you,
I thought being loved was like being admired but on steroids.

Now I see it's more like

a quiet walk
home from class every evening.

there are a dozen other ways,
different bike routes or
back roads you could take

but you would never think to.

Your day would be incomplete without the path your feet
first were drawn to,

you can't bear to miss it
the winding bends in the road and the blossoms you always pause to breathe in.

both familiar and new every evening.
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