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So much commotion
Takes over my tired brain
Can I just sit still?
It's been a little while since I decided
since I started telling everyone who asked
since I posted it in every corner
since I declared my major.

But what if I don't want to be a teacher?
What if I go off to college,
and I suddenly have the courage to do
what I didn't want to do before?

I'm afraid that it won't work
afraid I can't make it work
afraid to let go and fall
because what if it falls through?

All I want to do is music,
and yes,
I'm minoring in music
and honestly
I could be a teacher
but I'm rethinking that.

I know I don't have to go with the career
that matches my major,
and that I could finish out a teacher's license
and then go on to music.

But I could be so much more prepared!
There's so much more I could do
if I majored in Songwriting, Music Performance, or Worship Ministries.
What should I do?

What can I do?
I can take generic classes now,
ones that can count for any major,
and choose later.

But how long can I wait?
I'll just have to be patient
and wait for His guidance
because He knows what I should do.
What do you think I should do?
Words don't come to me when I think of you;
They slip through my fingers to this sandy ground.
Perhaps if I knew just exactly who
You were, the words would finally be found.
You are mysterious, but so am I;
You don't show emotion, but then, I don't.
Seeing you come can make me smile wide,
But when you dissolve into mist, I won't.
I only know the numbers in your dreams,
The things you wish, the things you're hoping for
But there's another side to you it seems
Maybe if I look, I will find there's more.
Who knows where our paths may someday lead us?
It's more than I can hope to be in love.
Step into my eyes
I know it's not
Going just how you'd like
You just can't see how
Anything could come out right
From your perspective

This mountain's taller than any other
This valley's deeper, the slopes are steeper
Trust me, even when you feel ashamed
I see a love that's greater than your pain

What I see in you
Won't give up now, no
What I see in you
Smiles when you're down low
What you see can't get you down
What you see will turn around
But what I see in you
What I see in you
Can overcome.

Just you look around
There’s more than this
Stress just gets you down
But there’s more than this
If you look through my eyes
You’ll see what I see

This mountain's taller than any other
This valley's deeper, the slopes are steeper
Trust me, even when you feel ashamed
I see a love that's greater than your pain

What I see in you
Won't give up now, no
What I see in you
Smiles when you're down low
What you see can't get you down
What you see will turn around
But what I see in you
What I see in you
Can overcome.
Hear the song here: https://soundcloud.com/thewaive/what-i-see-in-you
Lord, I don’t know what I’m doing
Or where my life is going,
But I know that without your leading,
It’ll just be endless roaming.

I’ve looked at my past and present,
And my future doesn’t look bright
Unless I accept Your leadership
And give in to your calling tonight.

I’m asking for help ‘cause I need it:
I need you most desperately;
I can’t live this life without it:
I need help immeasurably.

I’m tired, exhausted, of being alone
And giving in to loneliness;
I’ve realized that that’s You, calling me
It’s you wanting my brokenness.

Because when I have no one,
I have You;
There’s no one I need more,
But I forget the truth.

Please keep reminding me
Of how much I need Your love;
It’s not that You won’t give it,
But that I don’t think it’s enough.

I don’t want to keep searching,
I’ve done this all before:
I know that it ends in sorrow;
Your light is what I look for.

So please take me, it’s hopeless:
Without you I am done;
I’m giving up on myself
And accepting that You’ve won.

I know You’ll take me,
Of the little I do know…
It’s a comfort I find
A Friend who will never go.

You fill the longing deep inside
That I cannot comprehend
You’re the road before me
In a sea of stone dead-ends.

So don't let me forget it,
How I am completely Yours;
I cannot have grounds for despair
When I am on Your shores.
11-17-14
brownies taste better
and fill me up with their love
more than you. that's it.
Should I drive you from my mind?
Shall I stop my heart?
Or are you even close to me?
Do you play a special part?

I forget to think of you
When I am alone,
And I can't say I like to say
Our names in a loving tone.

I admire you, I know that,
But are you in my soul?
Have I even written your name?
Or imagined us on a stroll?

In fact, am I infatuated?
Or do I fancy it
So that my heart longs to feel,
And yet, it doesn't?

I don't know what I'd do
If you suddenly loved me,
And I don't know what I'd say
If your eyes began to see.

Perhaps my heart's run out of love--
Perhaps I am a yawn:
Too tired to think romantic things
And to friendship go beyond.

Finally, I have defeated
A meaningless urge:
The wish to be your only one,
Under tiredness submerged.
I don't have a crush on you at all. I don't know why I thought I did. What a relief.
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