This scary thing I cannot see
The worry is inside of me
Despite the panic all around
From this big mess we will come out
There's no escape, no where to go
The best thing is, to stay at home
When head goes crazy, take a walk
Call someone close and make small talk
If you're as sensitive as me
Check up on updates once daly
We need to know what's going on
But mind your soul, try to stay strong

Pushing your opinions on others
To you, that's all that matters.
You wanted to be heard,
I gave you a chance to prove your point.
Every word that I say,
You manage to twist your own way.
How rotten a person must be,
To weaponise words said by me.
Trying to hurt me, thriving on anger
I did not satisfy your hunger.
Told you "Enough"
I need non of this "Drama"
I'm not here to heal your old trauma.
For mistakes that I made I paid up plenty,
The action you took for me is just petty.
Prove your point to someone else,
I'm done dealing with this mess.

Old habbits die hard
There are thoughts on my mind
One thing I need to learn
Is the power of control
To lose oneself in someone else
Used to make a lot of sence
I never felt this way before
To be locked out will work no more
I have the key to my own soul
Picked up the pieces on my own
Back in touch with my emotions lately
Faced my fears, no need to save me.

I was warned
I did not listen
I was told
To keep my distance
Not to trust him
I ignored it
And now I know
I am alone

What shade is my soul
I don't really know.
Sometimes it's dark,
Sometimes it's bright.
Just like the year
Has it's four seasons,
My soul changes shades
For no real good reason.
Just like a dog
That has been abused,
When you are near me
My soul's not amused.
I'll stay away,
You'll do the same.
You no more care,
My soul's shade is grey.

We had big plans
You loved me once
I loved you too
I thought you knew
It went away
I chose to stay
Until you chose
Gave up, I froze
I see a dream
You're nowhere to be seen
Your dad is there
He was a friend
Momo's there too
I miss them both but you
Who knew I cared
I think I'm scared
I had a family briefly
Thank you for sharing them with me

You say a word
And I ignore it,
Your fake "Hello"
I want no more.
I need my space
You to erase.
Things changed,
You faded.
I stayed
And waited.
Cared for you,
How much, you knew.
I'm done,
Be gone.
You're just a shell,
My walking hell.

Why do you think I'll be quiet this time?
All that you said were filthy old lies.
I've written a letter, it's addressed to her,
The truth that she maybe needs to know?
Before making a choice to spend her whole life with you,
A person who wished that I was his only truth,
How do you guys just turn off all your love?
And chose someone who clearly wasn't enough.
I'm sick of your lies, you broke your promise,
To stay as a friend, you treat me like nonsense.
You've made your choice, I want to make mine,
To set the truth free, so that I can fly.
You had your chance to make the things right,
But made it all worse by staying aside,
I'm not some trash and you need a lesson,
Promises broken can turn really messy.
You'll make my life hell, I know that for sure,
When that all happens I'll be living no more.

Within a year I lost it all
My heart, my mind, my joy and soul
I feel so hollow and alone
I need to do this on my own.

My world was shattered not by one
These criminals and I are done
The punishment they'll get is none
I was a toy, for them it's fun.

The joy of life I cannot see
And I'm the one who needs to be
My own best friend to feel so free
The happy ending to my story.

I cannot do this anymore
Digging myself into a hole
Allowed myself to hope
Instead I ended up broke
It's both our fault but most is on me
My wish was that we were meant to be
My worst and best days shared with you
Were everything that I knew.
Made me feel complete, so full of life
Little did I know, that was my own knife
I told myself "Just keep it light"
My heart and soul just shined too bright.
But then it hit me like a storm
That you will never call me home
You are exactly where you want to be
Your heart and soul were with me temporarily.
This was a game, I think I lost
Now I'm ready for the worst
You chose the easy way out, so do I
To get you out of my heart and my mind
I wish you happiness with whoever it may be
I don't think I have the strength to see.
I will be first for someone new
Before that happens, I'll forget you
Turns out that you never loved me
It was my perception of reality
I told you goodbye and then I hung up
No txt or a phone call, you never faught back
The saddest thing is, that this is the end
In just one moment I lost love and a friend.

Now I think I understand
Why you let go of my hand
It wasn't what I thought at all
Looked very deep within my soul
I held on tight to blaming others
I didn't have the needed answers
My heart is beating now so fast
From what I thought forever lost
I sit here, writing my own thoughts
Because I need to put this into words
I stopped the blame, forgave myself
Close this old book, it's on the shelf
I'm not to blame, neither are you
The truth deep down I always knew
Forgive you too, I'll be ok
My smile will come back one day
There's so much I want to do
Small part was shared of that with you
I won't make plans, I'll set a goal
And I will get it on my own
Don't know what's next instored for me
But there's so much out there to see
For now I found the strength to grow
Today's the day I let you go

Your love is pure, your heart is true
And every time I look at you
I tell you that I love you too
All you want is to be near
My dear friend, I feel the same
The look you give me, those big brown eyes
Are a blessing in disguise
I wish I knew what you are thinking
But instead you will just lick me
We play a game of "Bite the hand"
And then I give you a command
Your brows go up, you are confused
That scene just makes me so amused
I rub your ears, give you a kiss
You lie down near me in a bliss
You fall asleep but still alert
In case your nose smells a dessert
It's not that time, you need to sleep
Recharge for next day's little treat
You are the purest soul I know
My furry friend, most loyal creature in the world.

Why did I get the unlucky gene?
I didn't want my words to be seen
By your abandoning eyes
Which were my demise

I found a way to make my peace
Write it all down, my thoughts in place
Now that you know what I have done
You'll make **** sure that I'll be gone

But we both know, I have a weapon
So let me be, my head's unstable
I won't tell her what really happened
Behind her back, while we all suffered.

These words are all that's left for me,
Just let me be, just let me be.

My dear me, this is a promise
With you to try in being honest
To care for you like you deserve
To give you nothing else but love
In looking out for needs you have
If danger comes, to being brave
To be your shield, to have you safe
You are the beauty, love and grace
Live like you want, at your own pace
You are the sun, your light embrace
If hardship comes, smile in it's face
If that's too hard, I'll be your shoulder
To save your heart from getting colder
Until the end it's you and me
I'm right here with you so let's be happy

I'm done with you
You're done with me
There's not much more to say now, really.

I wish for you to now be gone,
Out of my sight,
Out of my heart.

Secrets are cruel
Secrets are lies
Lies in disguise
What's in your eyes?
Can't hide the truth from the skies
Secrets can cause a demise
Of a soul that just tries
Not to despise
To be pure and just rise
Above all the bad vibes
Or maybe it hides
From the pain that it cries
Secrets are lies
Are they worth the goodbyes?

I'm lying here, my thoughts are scary
The lessons had I want to bury
Not one but two the same mistakes
I dove in deep, now what a mess
I do not wish to change the past
The things I said, I feel embarrassed
Layed out my feelings out to you
Rejection stabbed my heart right through
You said you care, that's ******* really
The way you let me go so freely
Embrasing love you have for her
Until the day she'll want you gone
When that day comes, I'll be no more
I won't know what she has done
Plans don't work out the way we want
I hope that you just don't get hurt
Because of fear of leaving her
You tell yourself you love her more
That things'll get better, she'll keep a job
If not, you'll move to another land
And that's your life plan, baby her
So stick with that, I've shut my door
I can't escape, we work together
I'm sure that I won't last in there forever
The beauty is, I'll learn to cope
You've pulled away, there is no hope
The lies you told, that shattered me
I do not trust you, stay away from me
Maybe one day she'll know what happened
But you'll tell her, I never mattered
She'll never know you loved me once
And saw our future in advance
I told you how compatible we are
But I was wrong, we're not by far
Don't call me friend, we're way past that
Damage control you're trying won't last
I do forgive you but all you'll see now
Is a fake smile on me, in my eyes you fell down
Got myself into this mess and now I'm stuck
Farewell my dear friend, we really ****** up

The sun is rising every day
Sometimes the shield it has is grey
But on the bright days I will say
I want to go outside and play

It's nice sometimes, to be a child
To have no fear, just go all wild
No adulting to have get piled
At that age all we did was smiled

As years go by your life develops
We find something that really matters
Apporoach it with the best intentions
That is just one of many chapters

Important thing, we have a voice
For some it is annoying noise
The best thing is, we have a choice
Let's chose all wisely and rejoyce

I was so sad
But now I'm mad
There's nothing that can change that,
This time last year
I held you near
And now I'm staying clear,
Too near, too close
Everytime we touched I froze
By the end of that we lost our clothes,
There was no promise of your heart
I got too close, forgot that part
We didn't want to be apart,
I told you how I felt one day,
You told me that you felt the same
From then it all went up in flame,
You held my face
I felt your grace
"You are enough" you told me,
Looked in my eyes
Kissed me so lightly
The world just stopped around me,
You could chose us
Since then you've hurt me more than once
The choice you made just showed your lies,
It's like I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time will need to pass
For us to be ok at last,
Don't think we'll be ok at all
You've added to my ******* hole
By chosing her to call your home.