I want to pick your brain for lunch to discuss the ongoings in this world and your views on controversial topics. I want to talk about the various books you read, the various shows and movies that entertain you. I want to know more about your beliefs, what appeals, riles, fascinates and triggers you. I want to know what makes you glow and dim. to watch you paint with different hues, form various constellation and explore the black hole of unexplored matter. I want to converse about the uncanny topics and the stigmatized ones. To know more about the philosophy, biology and chemistry of your existence and this world. I want to know about the intricacy, profundity and complexity around rather than keep to the surface topics.

I forgive you for hurting me.
I forgive you for lying to me,
for betraying me,
for leaving me all alone,
and for ignoring me.
I forgive you
Because hating you hurts.
The memories are like anchor holding me back
Thinking about you.
That time just makes my
Wounds sore,
Brain bruise,
Heart heavy
and the poison in my veins
is hurting me.
So I forgive you.
I know the poison will leave slowly,
so I forgive you to heal me.
I’ll let go of the grudges
To find peace.

Your vision was the blend of cultures,
welcoming them onto the progressing lands
as if it was there own.
Your passion of justice extinguished every fire
and your endless kindness
diminished hunger of the starving
and quenched those thirsty.
Your heart was vast
and character so true and principled
that hoped to strengthen and empower the youth
to achieve its best
so your essence carries on
for you have risen to great heights
and news of you have spread.

Why do you give your heart
to the ones who carelessly drop them?

Why do you give your heart
to the ones who engrave their name,
scaring it with memories
and then leave it deserted?

Why do you give your happiness
to the ones who leech it out of your life?

Why do you root yourself into their
hearts, intertwining with them emotionally so quickly?

You know better than
to let them wound you.

But I don't know who they
are unless I give them.

Invisible people
Figment of my imagination
Borrowed in my subconscious
touching and reaching
grabbing and pulling
whispering and fueling
Fear and doubt
Insecurities and pain
Every second
Of every day.

Their whispers
perforates my self-esteem
withers my self-belief
deteriorates my self-image.

My mind feels like a battlefield
A constant fight of not caring
of what they think
or say.

For there are days
When I set my mind
In to prioritizing my moment
passion, purpose, fun, and life
And not care.

But some days
they encroach into my mind
Seep through the cracks
Diffuse between the synapses
firing terror.

Letting me stare once more
at my own abyss.

An autoimmune of a nation,
why are you letting your wrath
stemmed from crisis
burst open like lysosomes?
Why do you digest
yourself and one of your own?
Don't you take pride
when the one who has the same
nation weaved on his skin
uplifts the wavering flag of your land?

Why would you mute
and suppress them
rather than water them,
like the beautiful nature that
blooms from your own ground?
Why would you steal
and harm your brothers and sisters,
letting your mentality succumb
to toxic-narrow confinements?

My heart is pacing
thudding against my ear drums
like I just ran a marathon.

I feel nauseous and light.
Breathe
But somehow this word doesn't seem to make a difference.
Breathe
But no sir seems to find a way into my lungs.
Breathe
But somehow all I find myself is being a sympathetic nervous system.
With self doubt crashing
and enveloping me.

My hands are trembling with
jittering nerves passing underlyingly.
Somehow nothing is soothing
Or calming me.