Shreds
All those memories
Of things I wish we had done
Of all the places I wish we had seen
Of all the conversations we could have had

Shreds
All that love
Desire
Dreams

Shreds
You and me

If every thought I had
was on paper..
I'd take the scissor and cut em all in shreds

Sadly
It's stuck inside my head
You
And everything else.

If you think I'm reaching out to you ,
Because there is something I want from you ...
Then you are wrong !
YOU gave me nothing .
.
.
I'm reaching out to **** the noise inside my head ,
My demons hide when you are around .They leave me alone .
You scare them .

Wherever she looked
She found him
He was ... .
In the salty sea breeze
The setting sun
The mellow twilight
The twinkling night
The wet sand
The palm trees
He was in the candle flame
The music
The half empty glass of champagne..... .....So much for escape

Waited .Waited ,patiently ,
sometimes frantically ,
to be understood .
Failed , failed miserably .
Love was all that was needed .
Love was all that she never had .
She died waiting

As I wait , for this moment to pass , this day, this month , this year ,this life .

It feels like forever autumn inside my heart .

The longing the waiting and brittle drying dreams ,

The harshness of the reality , taking away my hopes one by one .

My soul changing colours , fading , withering , dying .

I'm waiting my love , I'm still waiting
With this autumn in my heart.

Balancing a dream on my tired eye lashes .
Hoping one day I'll be able to see you,
Hold you and feel you and tell you.
How much I've loved you all my life .
Even through the darkness , and the storms ..
I'll love you till the end ,
With this autumn inside my heart .

Hello, my name is nostalgia
I glide in through the morning fog
On a bed of yearning,
How sweet, how mellow
No remorse in my welcome
Only longing, sweet-scented

Ah, Nostalgia!
You're finally here.
Hearts and flowers on a bed of roses
Homesickness, oh those arms
Your embrace, my home, my place
My thoughts, dancing around this nostalgia
Soaking in it.

He didnt change.
No.
He has been consistent.
Consistently distant. .

Solemn
Tears and ***** in hand
I've dug the grave
For this love
To nite

He called her every time he heard thunder
They hardly spoke but they never forgot each other when it rained
He called,
she called
Rain was a reason ..
But obviously things have changed
She hates the clouds
She hates the rain

We met on a random moonless night
People and their laughter
by the beach
Waves mutely crashing
You were dancing with somebody I knew
Dancing out of tune
What a sight that was.

And here you are
The strongest foundation
my soul shivers at your sound
my mornings, evening and night
my comfort zone
my existence revolving around you

You called it friendship
I had other names
Your walls couldn’t keep my feelings away
I saw what you wanted me to see
I read what you wanted me to read
I wish you felt what I wanted you to feel
But I trudged along
Alone, in my feelings

Today I stand in this void
Without you
I have your number
You have mine
But today, only the silence is talking
Words have turned away

And now I wonder
If you struggle too
What if society has pinned you down
If you have given in and moved on
I wish I could have one last conversation
To tell you
How I’ve moved on
To know
Why you’ve moved on

There are five stages of grief
And after grief comes rebirth
I can enjoy the rain now
The birds and the clouds make me smile
I'm not scared to go to the beach
I can hope, I can dream
I can love
I can be,
Happier with just me.

Yet the path to love is simple
Full of beauty
freshly baked dreams
Vanilla sunsets
Nights that sing to you
Dreams
Of love
They shatter
When you walk the path alone
Waiting wishing wanting .....

The world is full of colors.
Mine is Dull , muted , grey
Couldn't ask for better weather
The clouds , this breeze and the pouring rain
Everything is perfect
Except the numbness --
I'm not complaining ,
just getting used to having my coffee this morning without you .

Hazy,
Like your memory

Distant ,
Like your touch
Longing .....
There is a storm out tonite
Dust, won't let the moonbeams touch my soul

He said that's it - I'm done
I said good day to you too

Pack away the memories
Discard the hopes and dreams

Here we go again
At the edge.... ready to fall

----- point of no return

Autumn blizzard
Toasty kitchen
In a silent company
Of a snoozing pet cat
Serene numbness
Memories knocking at the window
Swirling cloud of smoke and steam from a coffee mug on the  window sill
Brown, orange  leaves stripped away from trees
Distant song on the radio
Magnificent moments
Silence
Song
And suffering
Beautifully entwined
Another autumn storm
Followed by another sleepless night

How do I perceive love ?
Fragments
Broken breathes
Shattered memories
Why  must the heart linger
I will never know .
You are my 4am , my 2pm , my sleepless night .
I don't know why I think of you

You cannot undo what you have seen,
All that you have felt ..
You cannot undo love
You cannot undo longing
You cannot undo the memories that linger behind your eye lids waiting to pour like rain every time his name comes up ..