A chequered past,

Secrets and lies,

Lack alacrity,

No real surprise

Stare downward, keep on looking,

Be sure you do not miss,

The silent thoughts and secrets

of my mind, in the abyss

Goodnight cruel World, I've struggled through,

Another of your days,

Quite how I've survived for so long,

In adversity always.

I have no

Responsibilities,

Looking into my own eyes,

I see,

Hollows,

Unkept,

Unloved,

Disillusioned,

Soulless and cold,

Staring back,

I wonder what he thinks,

Looking at me,

Probably sees failure,

Well, at times I even fail,

Failure.

Another day,

All's (un)well.

Sat alone

just wondering,

Is it me

why life's a funny thing,

On days my heart

may want to sing,

yet times when

death, I'd want to bring.

One more drink before I go,

Then I'll stagger nice and slow,

And maybe fall or maybe not,

Boy I think I've drunk a lot.

As curtains close and night descends,
We hide from Monday's dawn,
The duvet drawn over our eyes,
We hope to miss the morn'

I close my eyes and hope for,

A long and lasting sleep,

From which I'll never come to wake,

It's a secret that I keep

Off out to the garden,

Let's hope it doesn't rain,

Whilst I know that I am waterproof,

Getting wet is such a pain.

I cannot change the words I've said,

The acts or reacts too,

But simply put, my mouth my foot,

At all times I love you.

A time to sit, reflect, be still,

Let the world slide by,

Contentment it is worth a lot,

And I intend to try

It's difficult to speak out loud,

Though I do know what to say,

Perhaps my voice will ring again,

And the fear will fall away

Never been a clever talker,

Not known to hold my tongue,

Once it gets in motion,

I'm in trouble before long

The weekend clock is ticking down,

Soon all will be done,

We wish we'd tried much harder,

From when the weekend had begun.

I'm no longer taking poison,

The ingestion had to stop,

But all the hurt that I have felt,

Is enough to make me drop.

There is no quick solution,

To the harm that has been done,

Though I'm heading down the right path,

The journey's just begun

One more, then another,

I never know when I'm done,

The monster that's been lurking,

His night has just begun.

I'm glad today that I wore my belt,

Oh the shock that I would have felt,

Imagine the shame,

With nobody to blame,

From what I'd shown in Church when I knelt,

Cold,

Stone,

I lie,

For now upon,

The stone,

Soon,

To be,

Beneath

She stood, she smiled, I melted,

Then suddenly she left,

My heart could barely beat again,

My life, my love, bereft

I sat proudly with a biscuit,

To dunk into my tea,

But I seemed to lose my touch,

It fell in, disgustingly.

A tale that's full of wonderment,

But one that you might like,

I went to town to buy a hat,

Yet came home with a bike.

He is out every 30 minutes,

And puts stuff in his bin,

It's strange that he is out so much,

Just what's he putting in?

Cuts in the clouded sky

reveal flashes

blue,

Like moth riddled bed sheets

I see the world beyond,

and it me.

Am I looking out

or they in?

Such silken threads,

bare like my

skin.

Before long,

too long

grey returns

and my mood

as night

darkens.

It was never meant to be

so

black.

Internally, unstoppable,

Yet you fail to see me bleed,

Must red stain my clothes and more,

For you to see my need.

One moment, a chance,

Don't blink,

Romance

Clubbed to death

bludgeoned,

Life suddenly cut short,

The motive well

is unknown,

Perpetrator still not caught.

When I last went out for dinner,

People were looking at me weird,

It's only when I got home late,

I saw burger in my beard.

I bought myself a bonsai tree,

But little did I know,

Whilst it started off quite little,

You should have seen it grow

Today a young chap asked me,

Are you having a nice day,

I lied and said "delightful",

In a very British way

A broken man,

Sits idly still,

Lacks happiness,

A broken will,

No hope, no chance,

No reason why,

The broken man,

Just waits to die.

The bumblebee it takes to wing,

A buzz, a leap and flight,

But how can the bulbous bumblebee

Fly, it seems not right.

I met a lovely butcher,

His shop was such a treat,

He joked and smiled and all the while,

Cut up some chunks of meat.

A call to sleep,

But even though,

My eyes are shut,

To sleep, but no.

If you're looking for an impact,

Or an impression to make,

One trick that always worked for me,

It to present some cake.

Flickering

wick,

Burning

quick,

Candle

light,

Versus

night

When I sit and softly question,

The place where I belong,

I labour to convince myself,

That I've done nothing wrong



It's not in the steps I've taken,

But deep inside my mind,

I'm a lost soul that is struggling,

Searching for hope, I cannot find.

What does it mean to be mean,

I mind, my mind tells me,

So I read, I read, I write, I'm right,

I'm all at sea, you see.

Life, when living in a bottle,

At times can seem quite strange,

I awake, a drink I take,

Yet always hope for change.

New year,

New day,

Can't cope,

Same way,

The mind,

Too strange,

Need help,

Need change

The sickened sight of death befalls,

Catching each alarmed,

Yet in the turmoil of excess,

We all are grotesquely charmed.

A sunny Sunday morning,

A lovely time of year,

As winter's cold it fades aware,

Replaced by Spring's new cheer

I look to make things better.

Don't quit 'til my last breath,

But on true reflection,

I'd be better choosing death.

A clouded mind fogged by wine,

Thoughts slower than before,

I know that I have had my fill,

Yet reach for just one more

Tripping over nothing,

Slipping far too much,

I'm cursed with being clumsy

breaking everything I touch.

I caught a cold in winter cold,

Who knows my nose was red,

When suddenly I saw a saw,

A deed indeed was bled.

A silence that is deafening,

I question what I've done,

Which is strange as I am sat alone,

A company of one

Cold hands,

Feet,

Heart,

Complete

Too many seek out all,

Wanting more than they have got,

Happiness is not volume,

It's being content with your lot