it's more powerful than me
it takes over anytime it wishes
makes me it's obedient slave
makes me ****, wound and destroy
turns me into the ugly
turns me into the dark
under its control
i lash out, i annihilate
i have no choice
i cannot resist
i can't control it
how do i stop it
i can't control it
but i use it's evil
i can use it against me
i can annihilate me

Can sorrow be lived with?
If so how much?
How much sorrow can you live with?
And for how long?
What do you do when you’ve reached your limit?
What’s there left to do?
Do you end it all?
You cannot end just the sorrow
You can’t **** out the sorrow and enjoy the rest
No you have to end it all
But then there is nothing left
So is it worth it?

it flows like sap down my left hand
slow at first, but steadily gathering speed
warm drops of life drip down my fingers
a beautiful dark crimson hue covers the floor
the contrast is quite astounding
the dark red against the white tile
the red is on a ravenous war path
dead set on conquering every bit of white
the white puts on a valiant fight
to hold back the conquering red
but it is futile, the battle is already lost…
as the red covers the last bit of white
I close my eyes

i want to be numb
to all the misery
i want to be numb
to your hypocrisy
i want to be numb
to all the pain
i want to be numb
to the falling rain
i want to be numb
to all your lies
i want to be numb
to the blue skies
i want to be numb
to the whole world
i want to be numb
to the beautiful girl
i want to be numb
to your evil ways
i want to be numb
every moment of today
i want to be numb
to my heart you threw
i want to be numb
especially to you

i will **** you
not because i hate you
i don't know you
so how can i hate you
but i will **** you
'cos that was the order
and i have to obey it

i've killed many
at first it was hard
but not anymore
now it's easy
take aim, pull the trigger
it's that easy, so easy
i wish it wasn't
i wish it was hard

i **** yours and you **** mine
we are told to **** and we ****
that's the life of a soldier
that's the way it goes
we don't decide to ****
but we decide who dies
the enemy we shoot, dies
we shoot to ****

this is war, so we ****
i **** for my people
you **** for yours
i **** for my ideals
you **** for yours
who is right? who is wrong?
are we both right?
or are we both wrong?

does it even matter?
does it matter who is right?
does it matter who is wrong?
no, it doesn't matter
what's right to me
is wrong to you
what's right to you
is wrong to me

so we ****
'cos we can't decide
who's right and who's wrong
i **** some of yours
you **** some of mine
but some survive
some may survive
but all are wounded

i woke up this morning and ate nine strips of bacon
i could have eaten ten, but i didn't, why?
i don’t know why, but i'm gonna find out
why did i eat nine and not ten?

ten seems like a nice round number
it's the first non-one-digit number
it's the first to break out of that jail
he made it first, then followed all the others

if it wasn't for ten, where would we be today?
we'd be stuck in a single digit world
each month would only have 8 or 9 days
well, except for february, ya know
february will have seb'm

we would not have Christmas and Halloween
you can say good bye to valentines or labor day
forget about Memorial day and april fools
but wait, we will have new years, won't we?

we would only have nine fingers and nine toes
how would that work, how will they be divided?
five on one hand and four on the other?
which one gets five and which one gets four?
hmmmm.... i don't quite know

anyway back to the question at hand
why did i eat nine strips of bacon and not ten
well to be honest with you, this is why
i was full after eating nine

i was but fifteen
when you betrayed me
i was just blooming
when you snuffed out my flame

I had so much to live for
after hiding for two years
i thought i would be safe
but you brought death upon me

I was in love with Peter
he was in love with me
i was going to marry him
we were going to be happy

Margot was but eighteen
she hadn't lived her life
just like peter hadn't his
and i hadn’t mine

but you killed us all
but i don't hate you
because i've never hated
rather i feel sorry for you

you couldn't see the innocence
of our young childhood
you had to ***** it out
you had to see us dead

i feel sorry for you
you must have so much hatred
stored in your inner being
i truly feel sorry for you

Life is a funny thing, it’s always been
Just when you think you are up, it drags you down
With every grasp I try to reach
The elusive promised land
Walked many a mile, I have
But I am yet to see
That glorious land
but get there, one day I will
Then all my sorrow will be gone
All my tears will be wiped away
I will not tire anymore
finally I will be… home

i am alone, but i am not lonely
i am happy to be with myself only
alone is not a bad place to be
there are so many things to hear and see

i am surrounded by a thousand men
but i can hardly wait until when
i will be by myself again
where there is no sorrow or pain

a thousand people have tried to hurt me
a thousand more have tried to **** me
some of them have indeed succeeded
but i am still standing undefeated

i know i will one day be killed
the dreams of my enemies fulfilled
but until that day, i will fight on
until the sun dawns in the morn

Where are you, oh death, my friend
I’ve never shook your cold hand
but I feel like I know you so well
I think about you all the time
I look for you everywhere I go
why do you avoid me like this?
why can’t you just say hi
just wave to me from afar
Tap me on my shoulder when I am asleep
hit me over the head with the rainbow
whisper in my ear and say ‘ala mai’
kiss my coffin and tell me to sleep
Look at me from the mountaintop
say to me you will visit me soon
I wait longingly for that day
when you will squeeze my hand
and take me away to that field
the field of many daylilies
lay me down on the blue thorns
let the long green grass grow over me
let them hide me with their long blades
let me be lost in the green mini jungle
let me lie there and forget the world
and let the world forget me
never to be remembered ever again

i am on my bed, laying on my back
i am looking at the ceiling
i get a strange sensation
that i am not alone in the room

i have laid here on this bed
a million times before
but there is something different today
there is an eerie mist moving around

i see figures walking around in silence
some i know, some i don't
some from the present some from the past
they've all come to say goodbye

you see, i am dying
the next few moments will be my last
don't feel bad, i have no regrets
at least, i'd like to think i don't

the mysterious figures hover over me
they look at me with burning anger in their eyes
i do not know these figures
i do not know why they are angry at me

then i recognize one figure
he is a ghost from the past
he is the ghost of the book i never wrote
you see, i once wanted to be a writer

then i recognize another
he is the ghost of the orphanage
that i never built for the street kids
you see, i once wanted to help the poor

then i recognize yet another
he is the ghost of the racial equality
that i never fought for
you see, i once wanted to fight for justice

yet another ghost i recognize
this time, it’s the ghost of adventure
the adventures i never went on
you see, i once wanted to travel the world

then i see a familiar ghost
this is the ghost of all the missed opportunities
missed chances to help mankind
you see, i once wanted to be a humanitarian

ah, here is one i know well
it is the ghost of sobriety
something i didn't fight hard enough for
you see, once i dreamed of being a teetotaler

I see many more ghosts
now i recognize every single one of them
i find it hard to withstand their anger
they are angry because i never brought them to life

now i understand their anger
all my life i have neglected
my responsibility to give them life
so they must remain dead forever

the ghosts are getting ready to carry me away
one look in their eyes and i see
that it won't be to paradise
i am powerless to protest

heed this warning, you among the living
learn from my mistakes
do not waste your talents
make use of every opportunity

it is too late for me
but you still have time
never let a chance to help
others pass you by

You look so peaceful in your sleep
with that beautiful look of serenity on your face
you look like an angel taking a nap
so exquisite, so elegant, so delicate
I wonder if you are dreaming
and if you are dreaming
are you dreaming of me?
are you dreaming of the times we’ve had
the good and the bad?
Are you dreaming of the first time
I held you in my arms and kissed your lips?
are you dreaming of the time I whispered in your ear
that I love with all my heart?
You look so peaceful, without a care in the world
your lips curled up into a seductive smile
your cheeks a rosy hue shining like night fly
I wonder if you are dreaming
But how can you be dreaming?
how can anything be on your mind?
how can your heart be beating
yesterday you breathed you last

I have come to the door so many times
and placed my finger on its latch
gripped it tight and then… stopped…
terrified of what’s on the other side
What’s on the other side?
would be good, or would it be bad?
would it be bliss or would it be sorrow?
I could only guess
Not knowing what lies beyond
I could never gather up the courage
to open this mysterious door
and enter through to explore
But now, after all these years
I am finally ready to open the door
no longer am I afraid of what lies beyond
this gateway that’s been my tormentor
But before I go, I must bid farewell
for this is a one-way door
everyone who’s ever walked through it
has never been seen, nevermore
for this is a one-way door and death is its name

I want to watch the sunrise from atop Sigiriya
I want to feel the warmth of the ****** sun rays
I want to stare at the sun until my eyes start to burn
but first I have to live

I want to swim in the turquoise blue ocean
I want to joke with the dolphins as I swim with them
I want to ride the friendly turtle’s thirteen moons
but first I have to live

I want to fly high with the majestic eagle
I want to soar up above the highest mountain peek
I want to get a birds eye view of the world below
but first I have to live

There are so many things I want to do
so many places I want to go
but first I have to live
so bring me back to life