I want you to know that I’m literally a mess. I have days where I get numb and am full of sadness, I want you to know that it just happens. My mind is chaotic and dark, it’s like a continuous thunderstorm inside there, it really isn’t the prettiest, but I promise if you see inside and take a seat it would be a better place. There are days where I’ll need constant reassurance because I won’t think I’m good enough for you, I’m insecure about that. I’ll always believe that you’ll leave because that has been instilled in my brain.
I’m sorry if it takes me a while to open up to you, I’m scared of letting people see me, see my soul and mind. Just please be patient with me. I have times where I get overwhelmed and I start to get anxious, just take my hand and say nothing, I just need to know you’re there. I always think of the worst possible outcome, it’s just how I’m wired. I’ll always expect you to get tired of me because I know I can be quite a bit to handle.
But even with all of that I’ll promise to love you with all my being, I promise that I’ll remember the small things such as why you love the smell of rain, why you can’t sleep at night, why you prefer talking to one parent over another. I’ll remember every little detail about you, and I’ll make sure you know you’re loved. Ill make you breakfast in bed, and watch the thunderstorm roll in on the front porch with you, even though I hate them. I’ll have your favorite flower as the center piece on the dinning room table. I’ll always remember your birthday, even though I hate mine. I’ll remember to text you and tell you I love you, tell you I’m thinking about you. I’ll take you on cute little adventures and enjoy every minute I have with you.
So whoever loves me next, I’m sorry for all the bad, but there’s so much good as well.

To the girl in the crowd
We see you, but you are invisible.
We know you are there, but we don’t care.
We can hear you cry, we just don’t see why.

To the girl in the crowd
You say you’re ok, we say great!
You say things are fine, we think wonderful!
You smile at us and nod your head, we smile and say good job!

To the girl in the crowd
You stay strong, it’s what you’re told to do.
You act like nothings wrong, it’s what you have to do.
You seem to be holding your head high, as you’ve been programmed to do.

To that girl that was once in the crowd
We don’t see you anymore,
We don’t hear you anymore,
We don’t know why you aren’t there anymore.

To that girl that once was in the crowd.
To the one who kept saying she was fine.
To the girl who kept saying it was ok.
To the one who wore a fake smile.
The girl who would do anything to please a crowd of strangers.
To the one who stayed strong even when she was weak.
To the one who yelled so loud for help, yet her words were never                   heard.
To the one who gave up because she was tired...
of crying wolf.
I’m sorry for not seeing through the lies.

What if I told you I loved you
Would you tell me you love me back
What if I told you I miss you
Would you tell me that you miss me back
What if I told you I need you
Would you tell me you need me too?