Maybe I’m naive
Or maybe all the things I wish for can be achieved
The hate I have for you is shifty, I could never hate you completely
There are times when I get crazy but five minutes into it I get lazy
I don’t have the energy to keep the ******* up, you might see it as half empty but I see a half full cup.
In all honesty the drama makes me choke and at the end of the night I hope we can laugh it off like a joke.
Some would say I’m too forgiving yet unrelenting.
I have a soft heart but please don’t let me start.
I don’t like myself when I’m angry, there’s so much more love can free
Anger puts you in a cage, nothing drags you down more than rage
Love let’s you breathe, pushes you to be the best you can be.
When I look at you I see passed the mean charade,  and see you for what you are.
The man I fell in love with, the sweet gentle lover. You haven’t been that man for so long now, he seems like a myth.
You have so much hateful **** to say, I wish I could just shut you up when I tell you it’ll be okay

You used to sweet
& now you ain’t much of a treat
Unless you want some meat
When you want some of this ***
All of sudden you’ve got some class
& All it takes is a little sass
To remind you who you trying to **** with
Fool me once, fool me twice,
Third times a charm is a myth
******* you’re unappreciative
Once you had me inebriated
Now all I ever am is ******* irritated
I see the man I love but all I feel is hate for you
I walk away cause now I know it’s through
Don’t even think about coming back without bringing some fast food
Cause that’s all your good for now my dude
Your tongue used to make my toes curl
Now thinking about making love and everything you’ve done makes me want to hurl
I’m sorry lady boy, you’re going to have to find yourself a new girl..

There is not much I care to share
But the more I write
The more I dare
I can overcome
All of what you’re unaware
And the less I’m scared
The more I want you to know
I still care.
It wasn’t always so
“I hate you” is what you were told
You shouldn’t have went into the cold
Our cave protected you from the snow
I’m sorry our love
Didn’t have a chance to grow.

It was all my fault
In my lonesome hell I shall rot.

At least I have my words
To comfort
Reassure
To help myself feel confident
When I’m insecure

Ive tried to understand
I’d always ask nicely
Never demand
For a few kind words
Sitting here in silence is the worse
All I want to hear is that you miss me
That I’m all you’ve ever wanted
Lately you’ve just been acting fishy.

I don’t know how long it’s been anymore
I lost track of keeping score
Can’t remember the last time you gave me a hug
Watched me get dressed or undress me with your eyes or the last time you want to make love
I’m trying but I’ve been worn down
Cry so much in these tears I could drown

I stay cause there’s far worse that I’ve endured
But i know the time for me to leave is coming
Rest assured...

Here comes the epiphany
The moment where I finally gain some sanity
Before I was aware now I’m finally self aware
I can finally see what’s in my 1000 yard stare
When did I ever become so eager
Where did it begin?
Maybe it’s the child that’s lost within
who was deprived of attention
Finally the attention did come but it was unfortunately through molestation
My heart races for it, my mind paces for it
People I love find it hard do ignore it
It’s about time I stopped boring it
It it it it it
**** attention
I don’t even need a mention
Why should I cry
Pry my heart and let it dry
I’m so angry at myself
How the **** did I put my own needs on the shelf
**** this
No more excuses
It’s time to stop being so useless
People see I don’t take care of myself
Why did I put my dignity on the shelf
I need to stop substituting those things for the elf
I don’t need help
That’s why they all yelp
I need to get off my ***
I have no reason for sass
I’m not the ****
I’ve got a lot of more to work on than I’d like to admit

I’m set
All my features
are built to make you wet.
Thick thighs,
An open mind.
One of a kind.
Meant to Be’s
Destinies
All seems like *******
To me.
You feel what
I see
Know what
I mean
Stand out
Move on up
Without doubt
Don’t lean
Back
Or hesitate
Motivation is all you lack
Hard working
On the right track
Back in the day
I used to rack
It’s time I earned my place
Now I’ve got expensive taste
See me dancin’
Grab my waist
Hope you don’t mind the chase
Easy baby
No need
For haste
Take your time
Let me sip my wine
Play no games
Show some shame
Free of guilt
Understand how I’m built
Don’t water a flower
It’ll wilt
I want a man who
Laughs at himself
Who won’t put me
Or my feelings
On the shelf
Hear my wants
Rub my bad knees
I’ll give you all
That’ll please..
A good man
Is all I need

Letting go of you means
letting go of so much more
you don't understand.
Don't expect me to change on demand.
This is by far my
biggest emotional release.
It wont be anything like taking off a fleece.
I feel it unwinding,
each memory rewinding.
Old times that cant help remindin'
how hard it is at findin'
real love.
At one point I thought
you were from
above,
but then I realized
you fell
& you were supposed
to fall to
hell.
You rung my bell,
now I've got this story to tell.
You're another demon to fight.
while the rest
keep me up at night.

Trying my best
To progress
There is only do
Or do not
Yoda thought
So most of the time
We fought

I’ve got anger
Issues
Many birthdays
I’ve wished you
In all my hearts pain
I miss you

You’re not quite
Who I knew
We used to
Chill with brew
Remember the time
We flew?

We argued then too
Across the country
And it’s all we could do
Here I go again
Trying to scrape this
**** off my shoe

My heat is turning
For flight I’m yearning
The sun is hot
My wings are burning
I’ve got warrior feet
At the road ahead
I’ll be turning
Run or fly
I’ll chase the sky
Metaphorically
Astrophysically
My physical being
seems to limit me
This fool in my bed won’t
Give me matrimony

If this was Salem
I’d burn at the stake
No matter what era
You take pride
In the hearts you break
The years you take
The lies you make

The least you can do
Is own your ****
2 woman gone mad
there’s a pattern  here
You’ve got to admit
Wait where did the charm go
Where’s that wit?
Even Letty said
She couldn’t trust your *** for ****
Apparently you ****** her sister
And ****** some old lady’s ****

Even when he’s got it made
Angel turned demon throws his shade
Should you call you the devil
From hell you came
I’ve stooped to your level
And only I’m to blame

Eventually he just faded away
Like the bruises he left me

Nothing seems to add up
When everything is laid out on a spread sheet

He says the words, I love you
Everything feels like a run-through

Next thing he tells me is to *******
The sudden drop of his ***** made me chaff

Find somebody to worship me he said
Go build yourself and find a place
to break bread.

I could yell and I could scream
But my time is far to valuable to be wasted on somebody so mean.

You in the mirror stand up straight
Stand tall, don’t ******* cower
You have the ability to devour
Turn that rage that’s kept you in a cage into drive, there’s more to life than having to survive.
There’s that awkward moment between birth and death..
You can be a mess
You can the best
What matters is that you breathe
Till that last breath
Remember to sing when that light above starts gleaming
Remember to embrace love when it feels like you’re dreaming
Remember each bygone sings a different song
It’s not about who has what, the bad or the wrongs..
You can rub the Buddha’s belly and wish for good fortune
Or get all mad and jelly cause you didn’t get the same portion.
You can **** god and pull on the breaks
Or you can shut the **** up and join the ranks
Hear no, say no, see no, be no ******* evil
Build up and grow, best of luck
Pain and suffering, let it all go..
The more you feed the ******* that makes you bleed..
the less likely you’ll be freed
Come by and sit with me
Bring a friend or two or three
see the change you want to be
Let’s eat some ******* cheese
**** together im harmony