Mountains of pillows,
Soft sheets,
and warm covers,
couldn't bring you into my arms.

Wrinkles and sunken silhouettes,
remind me of what we once had.
Now you only **** me
when the calories and lust hit your gut.

I hate sleeping alone,
you won't help me resolve the issues
that block my way to you.
What we once had.

Washing machines drain the fabric of you
in every cycle
One more day my body forget the tenderness of you
and your loving arms.

Shifting under my skin,
seeping into my gums,
a sensation of emence pressure,
and awareness to unbear.

Slouching with a blue bib chain,
hung around the neck,
and heavy floride notes
tickling my tounge.

Goggles sliding along my face,
Sweat rolling down wet strands of hair.
Pulling away like velcro strips,
the sound of eagerness
and hot summer swelter.

That office chair makes me shake with anticipation,
Spotlight in yellow hues,
beaming down upon me.
Staring off until team appears
and the numbness fades in.

Time for another change.

For inconvienient, expensive exposure
with a little bit of me set to be disposed.

My shadow was eating me alive,
I was becoming an outline,
Of the person I once could recognize.
My ambitions were fading,
Goals made for dreaming,
Left me feeling.

Aching for the life I could have led.  
With every day that passes,
my hands feel see-through.
My gaze is glazed with dull focus.
As if I am disappearing from who I once knew.

Forget me not,
is a hard thought.

Forget me soon,
is the time to change my tune.

Forget me now,
is difficult look back on our future vow.

Forgotten already,
hoping that we didn't fall out of frame,
the friendship promised only seems like a fever dream.

Forgotten my emotions,
you used to give me a nice sensation,
now you're the reason I lack passion.

Regretting my intimacy,

You search for another girl like it didn't matter.
Letting my heart shatter.
Being alone has left my teeth to chatter.
Feeling like the latter.

In only a few weeks.

Casted over me is a loom of doom.

Chained to the negativity it becomes hard to bare.

Crushed by my despair I drag it around and wear it as my armour.

Cursing at myself for the dark emotions, I shrike alone.

Covered by love I still reject.

Cannot receive when there's no respect for myself.

Chasing away the ones I hold dear is the only way I can endure.

Carrying memories that hold me back, I relive alone.

Costs I pay for my depression.

At only 18 years old;
He was a Jack of all trades

Had the passion of blazing flames.
The free-spirited heart of a dove.
Debating skills that reached high above.
Athletic gifts that even the most talented could adore.
A witty personality that was hard to ignore.
Smatter than most I've ever known.
Reckless with a charm that was hard to condone.
Courage that surpassed the bravest.
Achieved the highest, and came back the greatest.
Friendly as if he had all the love to give.
Always smiling,
leaving everyone breathless.

Conner binded a small community together before and after his departure.  

He may not be here with us to pray, but he can be here to guide us along the way.
No doubt in my mind is Conner going to give up so easilly.  
If his legacy stays, so will he.